Terrified I have alcoholic neuropathy

[Fishmanpa]

This conversation rang a bell so I checked back, and we were having the same conversation about booze a year ago. I can't imagine you're drinking less now than you were then, and if you've mentioned a bottle a day, my bet is that it's more than that.

That would account for the spiral and Googling.

FMP

[LF87]

Joe, Yes we did, you're right. And I remember being nasty to you then too and I'm sorry! I get reactionary, it's a touchy subject. Some days its more, some not. But I've never ever drank spirits and I don't drink to be drunk. But it is excessive and I know it is. Thats why I've reached out for help, even if she costs the amount of a small village.
It has spiralled and I guess now I'm very worried about the effects. I hadn't known anything about neuropathy til I googled which I know isn't good for a HA person whatever the weather but, I've done it now. I'm going to get if checked with the doctor. I'm hoping it is just a pinched nerve but, we'll see. I've always had a dodgy back.
Thanks wired, I'm definitely hoping to be in that place soon. Just seems to out of the realms right now to just say nah I'm not having anything, because its so habitual now it doesn't even register to me.
Fishman, the googling has gone back to 6/7 years ago.when i was 5 hours deep into reading about mouth cancers, heart attacks, you name it. Cant believe I let it happen!

[WiredIncorrectly]

I didn't know you had posted similar a year ago. The help you're being given is to quit drinking.

I've already said, reach out to sober recovery forums and post everything there. If you truly are ready to quit your help is there. This place can help so much with alcohol recovery, but they are the pros.

I get the impression you're not really looking to quit, but instead looking for reassurance that your ailments are not alcohol related. Nobody here can answer that, only a doctor.

It's time to give up the booze, or live with the anxiety and mental health problems it's causing you.

[ankietyjoe]

Joe, Yes we did, you're right. And I remember being nasty to you then too and I'm sorry!

It's fine, it's part of the alcohol dependence. I lived with somebody for 5 years who slowly got worse and worse, and you're well into that journey.

I am genuinely, genuinely not trying to scare you, but I am genuinely trying to ram the message home that what you are doing is potentially dangerous. Had this been your first post on the topic, probably not, but my guess is your admitted drinking level is a lot lower than your actual drinking level.

Not drinking spirits doesn't mean there's no problem. It means you still have enough money to drink the booze you like. People migrate to spirits because it's a cheaper way to feel the buzz.

This may be one of the rare cases where googling is just the shock to the system you needed. Don't make a habit out of it of course!

Like Wired, I have also had my own addictions throughout life including cocaine...so not minor, but trust me when I tell you that once you stop doing it, you realise you don't need it.

[LF87]

Wired, I do truly want to quit. Its ruined my life for nearly two years. Before this I was at uni, at the gym 5 times a week and really happy. I've thought back about where it started, and its when I knew uni was coming to an end and I was going to have to find a job. I started to panic, started drinking more, and here we are. I barely leave the house because I have a huge sickness phobia, which is strongly reinforced by drinking because of course the lovely hangovers and sickness you get with it. So it's all gone to sh*t really quite steeply. My friends don't know whats going on because I went from going out every weekend to not seeing anyone at all.
And Joe youre right, I do have the money, my inheritance money which my dad would just be truly horrified to see me squandering on this poison. I should add he died of liver disease in June. A very functional alcoholic for probably 20 years, ex professional footballer, then had a whole professional career after football while being able to drink. He was never 'drunk either, which is how I justify to myself. Well, thats a lie, as he got older he couldn't handle it anymore and did get drunk, he was 72. But I don't think it was intentional, his body jusy couldn't manage his usual intake anymore. Came totally out of the blue as well. The first lockdown ruined him. I'm guessing he drank a lot more, then suddenly was very poorly, then went to hospital and never came out and they said he had liver disease and how had they never seen him prior to now? I'm traumatised i think still, which has obviously and rightly increased my own fears of my health and reliance on alcohol. So scared

[WiredIncorrectly]

Wired, I do truly want to quit. Its ruined my life for nearly two years. Before this I was at uni, at the gym 5 times a week and really happy. I've thought back about where it started, and its when I knew uni was coming to an end and I was going to have to find a job. I started to panic, started drinking more, and here we are. I barely leave the house because I have a huge sickness phobia, which is strongly reinforced by drinking because of course the lovely hangovers and sickness you get with it. So it's all gone to sh*t really quite steeply. My friends don't know whats going on because I went from going out every weekend to not seeing anyone at all.
And Joe youre right, I do have the money, my inheritance money which my dad would just be truly horrified to see me squandering on this poison. I should add he died of liver disease in June. A very functional alcoholic for probably 20 years, ex professional footballer, then had a whole professional career after football while being able to drink. He was never 'drunk either, which is how I justify to myself. Well, thats a lie, as he got older he couldn't handle it anymore and did get drunk, he was 72. But I don't think it was intentional, his body jusy couldn't manage his usual intake anymore. Came totally out of the blue as well. The first lockdown ruined him. I'm guessing he drank a lot more, then suddenly was very poorly, then went to hospital and never came out and they said he had liver disease and how had they never seen him prior to now? I'm traumatised i think still, which has obviously and rightly increased my own fears of my health and reliance on alcohol. So scared

Did your Dad's cause you to drink more? My Dad passed 4 years ago and caused me to spiral.

[LF87]

Yeah definitely made me drink more, at a time where I was already on the road to drinking way too much. Which you'd think wouldn't happen due to the cause of his death, you'd think that would shock me out of it. And he did always tell me not to drink too much. Sorry to hear about your dad too, it is hard.

[WiredIncorrectly]

Yeah definitely made me drink more, at a time where I was already on the road to drinking way too much. Which you'd think wouldn't happen due to the cause of his death, you'd think that would shock me out of it. And he did always tell me not to drink too much. Sorry to hear about your dad too, it is hard.

I feel your pain. It gets easier, but you never forget them. My grandpa, and 2 uncles lost their lives to alcohol. But that still wasn't enough to deter me. I looked at how they drank, then looked at how I drank, and convinced myself I'm not an alcoholic. All the time trying to justify my drinking to myself, looking for reassurances so I could convince myself all was fine.

Do you think you could replace the alcohol tonight with cups of tea, juices or regular water?

I hope you can. You need to change the habit which means also changing what you do with your time when you usually drink. This is a great time to learn something new, or peruse your hobbies.

Today could be the start of a new chapter.

[WiredIncorrectly]

Also take a read of Richards recent success story: https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showth...ency&p=1992896

[LF87]

Thank you so much, I will read that. I could try to replace the alcohol but I'm scared. My anxiety is soaring that I have this neuropathy thing and stupid as it is the only thing that I know will calm me down is to have a drink. I'm quite sure thays what these symptoms are. Even to the point of asking a family friend who's a gp who assures me it isn't something that happens until much later, years and years later, I can't unread what I read and I've connected all the dots.
If I don't have a drink I'm jusy going to be demented with worry all night, I don't know how to cope with that at all x