Originally Posted by
regretman30
Hi everyone.
I’m 31 years old and had OCD for the last 1,5 years. Since last year, my OCD latched on to a real event that had happened when I was around 13 – 14 years old.
At that time, I shared same bed with my brother, who is 2 years younger than me. One night, when he was sleeping, I pulled down his short and rubbed my penis between his buttock (without attempting to anal penetrate and no penetration happened at all because I didn’t want to awake him). I cerntaily known it’s wrong for siblings to do it, but I justified myself that we’re both boys. I considered real sex is merely between male and female and didn’t know what “gay” is?.
After that, we was growing up as normal guys, had no sexual attraction to male. I forgot this stuff for nearly 17 years.
Now, this memory beats me everyday with guilt and shame. I read a similar story in this forum but the difference is my brother was sleeping. I don’t know how to deal with this burden. I'm afraid that my brother known what happend and he just pretended sleeping. Maybe that event affected him negatively but he hided it. I don't want to bring this memory up to my brother because he looks normal, have girl friends and treats me well.
Thank you for reading my story.