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Thread: I'm back..😢

  1. #1

    I'm back..😢

    Well I'm here once again. Back on fluoxitine after 3 years of being off it. Last time it was a health problem that made me start flux, or rather my anxiety that was the result of it, and this time it's pretty much the same.
    Im sorry if this post rambles, I'm using it for help and advice but I also suppose I'm using it as a bit of a flux diary for myself just to get my thoughts out. I have a health issue that is causing me unbelievable anxiety, all I can think of is what if this health issue won't go. I literally feel like if it got worse I couldn't live with it. I know im probably overreacting in my response to it but all I know is my anxiety is through the roof and I feel I'm losing myself. I'm scared im going crazy with fear.
    I'm so deeply depressed and anxious I feel life is just not worth living if I had to carry on like this. I cry all the time. Then I feel incredibly guilty for even contemplating suicide as I have kids.
    Im a single mum and lost my mum just before Christmas( no siblings &#128532 then my lovely Alaskan Malamute dog of 15 years was put to sleep just 3 weeks later. Now I have this awful health issue and I know I cannot take anymore. I have thought about ending things so many times in the last 6 weeks. It scares me.
    So..I finally went back to my doctors and spewed all my thoughts about my anxiety and suicide. I told her I'm scared of starting flux again as even though it worked wonders (eventually!) I went through absolute HELL for the first 13 weeks, and I'm shit scared of having to do that all over again.
    But I know I won't get better unless I start this medication. So I'm here again..day 1 of flux.
    This time I'm only on 10mg for the first week, I suppose Im hoping this may lessen at least some of the side effects that I had last time, mostly the god awful anxiety I got! I feel I really couldn't cope with that again. So Iv just taken my first dose tonight. To be honest with a 10 I'm not expecting any bad side effects tonight or tomorrow. As we speak my anxiety is high because it's evening, and that is when it tends to kick in more. However Saturday I had it all day so everyday is different. I got a rough ride ahead, but so far today I feel I'm keeping it together. Just 😔 x

  2. #2
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    Re: I'm back..😢

    Quote Originally Posted by Amaajovich View Post
    Im a single mum and lost my mum just before Christmas( no siblings &#128532 then my lovely Alaskan Malamute dog of 15 years was put to sleep just 3 weeks later. Now I have this awful health issue and I know I cannot take anymore.
    Condolences on your losses.

    Anxiety disorders (also depression) often begin within a year of a major life event such as the death of loved ones. Could the health issue also be anxiety related?

    So..I finally went back to my doctors and spewed all my thoughts about my anxiety and suicide. I told her I'm scared of starting flux again
    What happened with the citalopram?

    But I know I won't get better unless I start this medication. So I'm here again..day 1 of flux.
    This time I'm only on 10mg for the first week, I suppose Im hoping this may lessen at least some of the side effects that I had last time, mostly the god awful anxiety I got!
    Starting at 10mg for the first couple of weeks should lessen the severity of any side-effects.

    I told her I'm scared of starting flux again as even though it worked wonders (eventually!) I went through absolute HELL for the first 13 weeks, and I'm shit scared of having to do that all over again.

    ...I got a rough ride ahead, but so far today I feel I'm keeping it together.
    Not all side-effects are necessarily down to the med. An anxious mind is very capable of producing our worst nightmares if given half a chance and you seem to be talking yourself into that. If, repeat if, anxiety does become unbearable ask your GP to prescribe a small dose of one of the benzodiazepines to help get you over that hump. Suffering needlessly is counterproductive.

    Is this your second time on ADs, or have you been on them more often?
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  3. #3

    Re: I'm back..😢

    Thankyou for replying to my post.
    I started on citalopram for very low mood after my mum passed away and within a week of being on it I developed loud tinnitus in both ears. I had convinced myself the citalopram was to blame as its indicated as one of the side effects. It probably didn't cause the tinnitus but I had worked myself up onto such a state I just stopped taking them. This is the health issue I was talking about. Iv not been on citalopram now for a while as iv started flux yet I still have hissing in one ear and my doctor seems to think it's a eustachian tube disfunction that can last month's.
    The pain and tinnitus has been the source of my anxiety.

    I have been on fluoxitine 3 years prior and after a bumpy first 3 months it worked wonderfully. To be fair I didn't give citalopram much of a chance, but I'm going to stick with flux for now and see how it goes.
    Day 2 today and no side effects at all so 🤞
    Last edited by Amaajovich; 23-03-21 at 18:13.

  4. #4
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    Re: I'm back..😢

    Quote Originally Posted by Amaajovich View Post
    I had convinced myself the citalopram was to blame as its indicated as one of the side effects. It probably didn't cause the tinnitus but I had worked myself up onto such a state I just stopped taking them. This is the health issue I was talking about. Iv not been on citalopram now for a while as iv started flux yet I still have hissing in one ear and my doctor seems to think it's a eustachian tube disfunction that can last month's.
    The pain and tinnitus has been the source of my anxiety.
    Tinnitus is a weird condition which is poorly understood. While most often associated with prolonged exposure to loud noise, just about anything can trigger it including a list of meds as long as your arm. Pretty much everything from aspirin to zit treatments. It doesn't always stop if the med is discontinued either. Many of the same meds can also treat it. So it is possible that citalopram triggered it, or it could have been a response to something else including your mental state.

    I have been on fluoxitine 3 years prior and after a bumpy first 3 months it worked wonderfully. To be fair I didn't give citalopram much of a chance, but I'm going to stick with flux for now and see how it goes.
    Day 2 today and no side effects at all so 🤞
    Because of its very long half-life fluoxetine tends to take quite a while to kick-in and as this is your second time it might take even longer than the first time. Unfortunately, there is no way of speeding this up. You might need to take a higher dose to get the same outcome too.
    __________________
    The opinions expressed above are based on my observations and, where applicable, interpretation of cited data and are general in nature. Consult your physician before acting on anything stated.

  5. #5

    Re: I'm back..😢

    Since developing tinnitus iv read quiet a lot about it and know there is no cure. Also it could just stop one day never to return, or not. I'm hoping it's just a side effect of my eustachian tube disfunction as my ears felt very full and painfull for a few weeks. This seems to have eased slightly and I'm just left with ringing, which I hope will also ease and eventually go. I was a member of a few different tinnitus FB groups but had to come off them as the mention of suicide by a lot of the members really spiked my anxiety. I really don't know what I will do if this sound gets louder or doesn't go. I don't know if I could go on living.
    I try to just think positive, I'm eating healthier than I have ever done, I'm drinking loads water, started going on long walks with my kids and in just hoping a combination of all these things combined with my medication will help. It's my third today and I feel a little anxious this morning. I'm wondering if my medication has something to do with that. It's only 10ml but I was still expecting some side effects even at this low dose.

  6. #6
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    Re: I'm back..😢

    Quote Originally Posted by Amaajovich View Post
    It's my third today and I feel a little anxious this morning. I'm wondering if my medication has something to do with that. It's only 10ml but I was still expecting some side effects even at this low dose.
    The anxiety may, or may not be caused by the fluoxetine. Increased anxiety at the beginning is quite common, but not a given by any means. Many people have no, or only mild initial side-effects. It is usually only those with more severe responses who come to support groups which often gives a false impression. Past experience isn't necessarily a good guide to what may happen this time either. Side-effects can be different each time an AD is restarted, including being absent. But be aware of the self-fulfilling prophecy effect. Expect to suffer greatly and your mind may give you the full catastrophe. OTOH, a positive attitude can ease the bad days.
    __________________
    The opinions expressed above are based on my observations and, where applicable, interpretation of cited data and are general in nature. Consult your physician before acting on anything stated.

  7. #7

    Re: I'm back..😢

    Day 4 10mg. Good day today. No side effects. The low I had yesterday seemed to have lifted so was probably just having a bad day as I ended up in the bathroom away from the kids crying about my mum. I still have days where it hits me she has gone and I can't quiet believe it. I slept well last night though, better than I normally do so I suppose that does make a huge difference to how my day goes. Sat here tonight though a can feel a little bit of my usual evening anxiety creeping in. So just trying to keep myself busy in the evenings.

  8. #8
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    Re: I'm back..😢

    So just trying to keep myself busy in the evenings.
    Good. Distraction works. The less time the mind has to ruminate the better.
    __________________
    The opinions expressed above are based on my observations and, where applicable, interpretation of cited data and are general in nature. Consult your physician before acting on anything stated.

  9. #9

    Re: I'm back..😢

    Day 7 10mg. Not a good evening last night or day today. My tinnitus is back with a vengeance after a ok couple of days so feeling extremely anxious. Could hear it creeping in last night while watching TV so made myself busy for a bit then we to bed and had an awful night with anxiety and whistling in my ear. Slept with the TV on but it didn't help. My anxiety is full force today. Keep going from crying and feeling utterly hopeless to feeling angry why are my ears this way?? Just feel so low. I'm dreading going to bed tonight. I'm so tired and need sleep but the buzzing just won't let me 😢😢😢

  10. #10
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    Re: I'm back..😢

    Bummer. Taking a benzodiazepine (BZD) for 2-3 days may stop the whistling. Clonazepam (Klonopin) seems to have the best track record. If your GP doesn't prescribe BZDs then 7.5-15mg, of mirtazapine often works both in easing tinnitus and improving sleep.
    __________________
    The opinions expressed above are based on my observations and, where applicable, interpretation of cited data and are general in nature. Consult your physician before acting on anything stated.

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