I'm back..😢

[Amaajovich]

Day 14 10mg
Had a horrible weekend. Ears feeling full, painful and ringing. Feeling very tired and anxiety still simmering away just under the surface. It's my last day on 10mg, I start the 20 tomorrow. Feeling a little nervous as don't want my anxiety getting worse. I'm just so worn out as haven't slept well last two nights. Feel like I'm stuck in a miserable loop of feeling ill and anxious. I find I cannot concentrate on anything, my mind is just in a constant state of anxious thoughts. I know it will pass eventually but iv got a feeling it won't be for a while yet for me.

[Amaajovich]

I get this too. It's called Depersonalization/Derealization. It's thought to be a defense mechanism your brain has to help keep you safe from overwhelming feelings or events. I'm just now starting to come out of it 3 months and some change after my last panic attack. It's terrifying and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

As much as mental health isn't taken seriously we're lucky to be where we are in history. In the not too distant past we'd all have to suffer in silence, get drugged up to our eyeballs, or locked away to have holes drilled in our heads. It's getting better at least.

Yes you are right we are lucky, I cannot imagine how it must have felt not to have any support. Pretty horrendous I would imagine. I shouldn't moan about my situation as I know people are in a lot worse situations. I think my tinnitus is getting to me a bit tbh.

[KHPanic]

Moan away. That's why we're all here. For support and to heal.

[Amaajovich]

Day 18 20mg
I started the 20mg on Monday and had no rough side effects so far, only thing I can tell is I feel slightly sick in the mornings and I'm waking around 2.30am every morning. So I'm absolutely shattered. My ears been feeling full last two days and hissing very slightly causing my anxiety to simmer away. I'm trying to keep calm by telling myself it will pass and it won't last. Might take a zopiclone tonight see if it knocks me out till morning for a change.

[KHPanic]

I started 40mg on the 1st so I'm right there with you on the increase. Out of it and tired. Hope you're doing better with the sleep Amaa.

[Amaajovich]

I started 40mg on the 1st so I'm right there with you on the increase. Out of it and tired. Hope you're doing better with the sleep Amaa.

How are you coping on 40 KHpanic? Hope the side effects don't last too long. I can imagine it's a difficult transition up to 40mg! Hope the side effects wear off soon.
I'm on day 23 and iv had a good few days apart from the sleeping. Then last night woke at 3.45 after dreaming about my mum. It's wierd because when I dream of her she's still alive and it's as though I completely forget she has passed away-until I wake up. Had an awful night last night, didn't go back to sleep and my ears started a high pitch ringing that really started to stress me out. I don't think stress is causing the tinnitus but I do think tinnitus is causing my stress and anxiety. I'm dreading bed tonight. My ears have screeched all day 😩. Iv taken my fluoxitine earlier this afternoon as I was wondering if that was waking me up during the night. My anxiety is very high today and I'm on the edge of a panic attack. Feel dreadful 😢

[KHPanic]

I'm sorry you're feeling rough. It's good though that you are starting to see some good days. There are times when I start to feel like my old self and then I get anxious that I'm not anxious. Funny how the mind wants to stay on alert.

I'm doing alright with the increase. The first week or so my vision was really screwy. Like i couldn't focus on anything properly or think straight. But that's slowly fading. Still dealing with my tinnitus too but it's not so bad. Just trying to get my sleep schedule back on track and deal with the last of the foggy head/DP that I'm feeling so I can get back to some kind of normalcy, whatever that means anymore. I just keep reminding myself that I've done this twice and I recovered both times so I try and stay positive.

[Speranza]

Hi, just wanted to say hi and connect and I echo the comments above - deep sympathy and people ARE here for you. If you need a rant just inbox me, doesn't matter what you say but sometimes we need to be heard. I was on here loads years ago when I was on Prozac and though I hope never to need it again, if I do I do... so well done for getting help. I really hope things feel brighter soon. xx

[Amaajovich]

5 weeks tomorrow. Thankyou replying to my post. It's comforting to know I'm not quiet alone here. I'm feeling perhaps the worst I have ever felt. I went back to work on Thursday last week, I honestly felt well enough and felt confident about feeling well and strong enough to go back. However I noticed my tinnitus kicked in a bit while at work. Maybe just the stress and anxiety of going back to work after such a long time off but today (day off) my ears have been screaming since yesterday. On top of that I just feel incredibly low. I really don't know who I can turn to when I feel like this. Iv just been sat here crying or staring at the TV. Someone smashed into my car this morning and I felt so fed up I couldn't even be bothered to sort out insurance details or repairs. It's not too bad but still scratched. Im just finding it so difficult to see a point in carrying on. My children are literally the only thing keeping me on this earth.

[panic_down_under]

Im just finding it so difficult to see a point in carrying on. My children are literally the only thing keeping me on this earth.

Have you talked to your GP about how you're feeling? If not, you should asap, imo.