Anyone have an intense fear of cancer metastasis

[Anxietysufferer92]

I cannot believe after a couple of months, I am back to square one and getting worse every day. So at the beginning, I had a bit of bleeding after sex. I went to the gp who did my smear and checked my cervix and vaginal area and said everything looks fine and the smear test was clear. During this time, I had horrible lower back and abdominal pain. Thank goodness it disappeared in time. I had sex since then and no bleeding has occurred and I've had no symptoms ever since. A few weeks ago, I had a dreadful stomach bug that lasted the weekend and had constant diarrhoea, then I had it again a couple of weeks later and now feels like I have got it after my son has had the bug but he has the vomiting bug. Now, I have been suffering from on and off diarrhoea and stomach aches for the past week and I'm tired of it. I am knackered and it is draining me so I think it is something more sinister going on. I am very nauseated all the time and I have zero appetite. Everyone has been telling me I am losing weight so now I am trying on all my clothes to see if they're loose, thank goodness my weighing scale batteries have died because I would be more obsessed. I feel like I am losing weight though, I don't eat breakfast and I am in an active job but my weight hasn't dropped this quickly. My stools are either runny or runny/solid mixture, but they're always light to dark brown. Haven't seen any blood so far.. But I have an immense fear that maybe the gp have missed cancer growing and it has now metastated to my bowel and uterus. I am always tired and I have a banging headache. I am petrified of the way I feel now and I am telling myself time and time again we are going to die and that I will go to a better place and I won't have to have this dreadful, stupid, life debilitating HA hanging over me 24/7.

[ankietyjoe]

I cannot believe after a couple of months, I am back to square one and getting worse every day. So at the beginning, I had a bit of bleeding after sex. I went to the gp who did my smear and checked my cervix and vaginal area and said everything looks fine and the smear test was clear. During this time, I had horrible lower back and abdominal pain. Thank goodness it disappeared in time. I had sex since then and no bleeding has occurred and I've had no symptoms ever since. A few weeks ago, I had a dreadful stomach bug that lasted the weekend and had constant diarrhoea, then I had it again a couple of weeks later and now feels like I have got it after my son has had the bug but he has the vomiting bug. Now, I have been suffering from on and off diarrhoea and stomach aches for the past week and I'm tired of it. I am knackered and it is draining me so I think it is something more sinister going on. I am very nauseated all the time and I have zero appetite. Everyone has been telling me I am losing weight so now I am trying on all my clothes to see if they're loose, thank goodness my weighing scale batteries have died because I would be more obsessed. I feel like I am losing weight though, I don't eat breakfast and I am in an active job but my weight hasn't dropped this quickly. My stools are either runny or runny/solid mixture, but they're always light to dark brown. Haven't seen any blood so far.. But I have an immense fear that maybe the gp have missed cancer growing and it has now metastated to my bowel and uterus. I am always tired and I have a banging headache. I am petrified of the way I feel now and I am telling myself time and time again we are going to die and that I will go to a better place and I won't have to have this dreadful, stupid, life debilitating HA hanging over me 24/7.

You've just listed a few things that can happen to people from time to time.

People lose weight when they get ill.

Stop Googling.

Stop telling yourself you're dying.

Stop Googling.

The good news is that you still know the difference between lose and loose, most don't!


Oh by the way, I had the dreaded stomach bug too, so did my youngest son. I lost 6lbs in two days. It's mostly passed now, but even two weeks later my digestion hasn't fully come back to normal. You'll be fine.

[swajj]

The good news is that you still know the difference between lose and loose, most don't!

or your and you’re
or weather and whether

ha ha

[pav1984]

If your son has been I'll as well then I would say you have had a bug. Without being too graphic it is probably mostly water and once you are back up and running again you will get back to normal weight.

Tired and headache could be dehydration or just part of the bug.

Try to think logically rather than worst case. I appreciate this is easier said than done and I do the same.

[nhelen79]

I had same issue of bleeding. Went through physical exam, blood tests, scanning, endometrial biopsy and nothing was found except irritation. After that, bleeding stops.

Doctors won’t miss. If you are worried, ask for a scan. If you are in Peri-menopause, it can happen too.

My current fear: Brain tumor because my eye pressure is borderline high.

Anxiety suck. My mind would venture to those dark thoughts when it’s free, especially at night.

[Anxietysufferer92]

I haven't googled much.. Problem is it is already embedded in my head from years of googling, unfortunately. I am not coping at all. I am very jittery, pacing up and down like a caged tiger and I feel like I want to vomit. I have diarrhoea still and feel so tired.. Tired of feeling like this, mentally and physically I guess. I have stopped the car on my way home from work and I cried. A lot. I just let it all out and I don't feel better about it. Sometimes I feel numb about it all. I'm surprised I am just about to function at work. I have to sit down a lot to gather my thoughts together before I continue. I am never going to be free from this, guys. I have tried so hard to overcome it but I am seriously getting tired of it now as I know all of us who are in this situation are. I cannot be bothered to fight with the doctors to try and see me because of covid, they're very reluctant to do so. I don't see the point fighting for a diagnosis when, ultimately it could be the worse case scenario and there's nothing I can do about it anyway, I just have to live with it.. However long I have left to live. I just don't know anymore. How can I be calm and feel free? Why am I so scared of leaving this world when one day, we are going to? I just don't know anymore.

[ankietyjoe]

I haven't googled much...

Don't Google at all.

Your problem is practiced catastrophising and a monumental case of negative self talk.

Try doing the opposite for the same amount of time you practiced fearing the worst. Months, years?

As FMP says you probably need some help with it (mentally of course). You don't need to see another Doctor, that's just more of the same self checking habit.

[Fishmanpa]

All I can say is I hope you feel better soon. Reading your post, it made me think that we all worry and have anxiety to a degree. It's human nature. I've not slept well in months due to everything going on. Many here go through that too. I'll wake up at 3 or 4am to pee or something and then have trouble falling asleep because I'm worried about this or that. BUT.... never to the degree I see in your post and the posts of so many others on the board. Then again, I don't have health anxiety. The difference became clear. Like I said, the things I worry about are similar to many here. The difference is, I don't panic or have the pure visceral physical response many sufferers have. Then, take HA, and the same response to an irrational and unrealistic scenario and boom, there you are.

Having dealt with mental illness in my family and dealing with depression, I truly think real life professional help is the way to help dig yourself out. I still use the techniques I've learned to this day.

Positive thoughts

[Anxietysufferer92]

I understand where you're all coming from but why is it that this is the worse I've ever felt as the symptoms which are not related to anxiety has manifested itself? I've never had stomach pains or abnormal bleeding during my anxiety stage. The doctor only checked my downstairs department, she never referred me to a specialist because she said I am OK. We know doctors can be wrong though, don't we? Sorry I know I sound like a broken record and I really do appreciate all of you telling me to get my act together (lol) but I am absolutely petrified. Tonight I am feeling terribly, dreadfully bad. I am sweating and getting all panicky. My husband has noticed and I had to make ou that I am OK. We are in the process of moving house and he is really excited. I am not going to ruin the excitement for him so I am keeping it to myself. I am not googling symptoms, but I am looking for private clinics to get ultrasounds and mri done..with whatever money I have left. Ridiculous isn't it?! I am going to call my GP tomorrow and hope she will actually let me come in and see her so I can just let it all out. I feel like such a fraud, so many people are dying/have died and I am making it seem like I am the only who has a right to be scared about the inevitable! I am feeling really numb. Why is that? One minute I am scared and panicky, the next I am relaxed and calm about whatever diagnosis I get/prepared for.

[ankietyjoe]

I understand where you're all coming from but why is it that this is the worse I've ever felt as the symptoms which are not related to anxiety has manifested itself? I've never had stomach pains or abnormal bleeding during my anxiety stage. The doctor only checked my downstairs department, she never referred me to a specialist because she said I am OK. We know doctors can be wrong though, don't we? Sorry I know I sound like a broken record and I really do appreciate all of you telling me to get my act together (lol) but I am absolutely petrified. Tonight I am feeling terribly, dreadfully bad. I am sweating and getting all panicky. My husband has noticed and I had to make ou that I am OK. We are in the process of moving house and he is really excited. I am not going to ruin the excitement for him so I am keeping it to myself. I am not googling symptoms, but I am looking for private clinics to get ultrasounds and mri done..with whatever money I have left. Ridiculous isn't it?! I am going to call my GP tomorrow and hope she will actually let me come in and see her so I can just let it all out. I feel like such a fraud, so many people are dying/have died and I am making it seem like I am the only who has a right to be scared about the inevitable! I am feeling really numb. Why is that? One minute I am scared and panicky, the next I am relaxed and calm about whatever diagnosis I get/prepared for.

Because life is change and sometimes we can actually have something wrong with us that doesn't mean we're about to drop dead.

Your narrative is frankly terrible -

'Doctors can be wrong'

'Scared about the inevitable'

'looking for private clinics'

You are basically convincing yourself that something is wrong when you have been explicitly told that there isn't.


Lets say you get an MRI and you're given the all clear. Then what?