Anyone have an intense fear of cancer metastasis

[swajj]

The good news is that you still know the difference between lose and loose, most don't!

or your and you’re
or weather and whether

ha ha

[Anxietysufferer92]

I am surprised I can even spell swajj lol and as for the mri, well right now I'd be absolutely delighted to get it done and be told I am in the clear. Will last a few weeks then something else will crop up of course. I am still in a bit of a mess. I have a very sore back and belly, feeling shivery and tired as well. I'm thinking a uti or kidney infection which I've had before. I am in a state of panic again and obsessively going toilet and wiping down to below to check for presence of blood. Living like this is a nightmare.

[ankietyjoe]

I am surprised I can even spell swajj lol and as for the mri, well right now I'd be absolutely delighted to get it done and be told I am in the clear. Will last a few weeks then something else will crop up of course. I am still in a bit of a mess. I have a very sore back and belly, feeling shivery and tired as well. I'm thinking a uti or kidney infection which I've had before. I am in a state of panic again and obsessively going toilet and wiping down to below to check for presence of blood. Living like this is a nightmare.

If living like this is a nightmare, then stop checking.

Above all things HA is a habitual condition. Stop checking, stop googling, check your thought patterns etc. If you start to 'think the worst' then intercept that thought with 'this is probably nothing'. You effectively have to re-train your brain to not massively overreact to every single niggle or ailment you have. It will take a LONG time, so start today. Take control of it.

[Anxietysufferer92]

If living like this is a nightmare, then stop checking.

Above all things HA is a habitual condition. Stop checking, stop googling, check your thought patterns etc. If you start to 'think the worst' then intercept that thought with 'this is probably nothing'. You effectively have to re-train your brain to not massively overreact to every single niggle or ailment you have. It will take a LONG time, so start today. Take control of it.

I know. Everytime I do it, I know that it is my own fault and I shouldn't keep complaining about it. It is a habitual condition but, I cannot rationally think or just breathe and tell myself that it can be many things and not just the C word. I have tried retraining my brain for many years, especially when I am not having a flare up but when my HA flares up, it all goes out of the window. I have lost control completely over it all. It's so bloody difficult battling our thoughts day in and day out :(

[Anxietysufferer92]

So I've taken the plunge and booked a pelvic ultrasound this Friday. I cannot cope anymore with the unknown! I am still having belly aches and IBS symptoms which I very rarely have. For some reason I have a very bad feeling! Anything I eat goes straight through me. It's been over 2 weeks now.

[carriewriting]

You have a bad feeling because that's anxiety. It makes us feel like it's intuition and that's why we're so compelled to take action. We feel like it's life or death if we don't. But it's not.

Here's what I've realised during therapy after 15 years of severe and constant health anxiety:

1. Anxiety is not intuition.
2. We are not psychics (otherwise we'd be putting our talents to better use eg. lotto!).
3. People who get cancer or serious diseases are usually shocked by the diagnosis, not expecting/anticipating it.
4. I am not a medical professional (all I have is a diploma from Google in "Things I should never have researched")
5. No disease or medical condition is bad as living with constant health anxiety.

I knew I'd reached rock bottom when I had an ultrasound and even that didn't reassure me.

This one might help you for a while, but it will also keep you on the anxiety hamster wheel. There is no such thing as knowing 100% that you are disease free.

I'm now treating my health anxiety as OCD. Getting tests, Googling and checking are compulsions that we have to resist to recover.

It's so, so hard, but when you commit to doing it, the support you'll get here will keep you moving towards beating anxiety for good.

[swajj]

Get the ultrasound. You’ll have peace of mind. It may not last but your mental and physical health will improve. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break.

[Anxietysufferer92]

Get the ultrasound. You’ll have peace of mind. It may not last but your mental and physical health will improve. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break.

Peace of mind lasted a day lol.

[swajj]

Peace of mind lasted a day lol.

lol but hey you got a day!

[Carys]

Peace of mind lasted a day lol.

....but why ? It was clear, totally clear, nothing abnormal. Thats it. Start trusting and start applying the methods Joe talks about above, it takes time and effort.