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Thread: Intrusive thoughts about my child

  1. #1
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    Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Hoping someone in this forum can shed some light or at least relate. I've had intrusive thoughts over the years. Several about being a paedophile and once about being a lesbian (nothing wrong with this BTW). Now it's surrounding my child I'm more distressed. I'm panicking that I don't love her and I'm just pretending that I do or that I don't recognise them or what if I forget their face. The more I try to tell myself I do obviously love them i feel like I'm trying to hard to convince myself. It's that horrible pit feeling stomach and I can't stop. I have made a call with GP re meds to start once. I get courage and today for CBT.

  2. #2
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    I thought your GP already gave you meds? Have you started them?
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  3. #3
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Better seek for medical advice. This is quite alarming specially the life of the children is at risk.

  4. #4
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Yes I can relate, I have these thoughts frequently about my partner and also started having these same thoughts as soon as I gave birth to my son. Itís called ROCD.

  5. #5
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Thatís really not a helpful response. There is no suggestion the child is at risk.if the thought is an intrusive one then it plays on her fears, itís not indicative of their actual risk of acting on them.

    Quote Originally Posted by meltedchic View Post
    Better seek for medical advice. This is quite alarming specially the life of the children is at risk.

  6. #6
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Better seek for medical advice. This is quite alarming specially the life of the children is at risk.
    Agreed ! The child won't be at risk from these types of intrusive thoughts. I had bad ones after my daughter was born, really troubling and upsetting, about a variety of things. I talked to a therapist about them at the time, thinking they'd be shocked, nope, not at all. Apparently, its your worst fear coming out and certain that as its your worst fear the you are quite the opposite - a loving, caring parents who wouldn't let a fly harm their child and are the least likely to risk your child in any way.

  7. #7
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Quote Originally Posted by meltedchic View Post
    Better seek for medical advice. This is quite alarming specially the life of the children is at risk.

    Ridiculous comment. Not helpful, not actually what's going on here.

    To the OP, intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. The are firings of the subconscious mind which your conscious mind is rejecting. The only problem here is you paying attention to them and providing them with meaning.

    My eldest son is almost a teenager now and during lockdown I had flashed visions of me knocking him across the living room he's being THAT difficult, but it's just a thought. It means his behaviour is stressing me and my subconscious is illustrating ONE possible reaction from me. The thought comes and goes and I don't act on it. If I sat down paid attention to the thought, examined it and berated myself for even allowing it into my head, the thought would stay there longer and longer.

    As best you can, just let the thoughts happen and let the thoughts go. In themselves thoughts mean little.

  8. #8
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Quote Originally Posted by meltedchic View Post
    Better seek for medical advice. This is quite alarming specially the life of the children is at risk.
    I suggest reading about sexually intrusive thoughts and learning the difference between them and philias. They are not the same and there is already a massive stigma around this OCD theme. It's more common than people realise and something those with a strong moral code towards children can suffer from e.g. parents, teachers, youth workers, etc. Its quite an eye opener learning how our thoughts seek to turn on us by clashing with our deep moral codes, our schemas, and how we can have then about terrible acts against those we love the most.

    I would agree advice is required but for the OPs anxiety and not that there is a risk to a child.

    Another element, worrying about forgetting her child, has no connection to this theme other than it's an intrusive thought about something very important to her. These thoughts look for the most emotive to keep themselves relevant. What would be the point of an intrusive thought about something that didn't matter to you that wouldn't spark a negative reaction, the same reaction that is the feedback to confirm the fear is valid?
    Last edited by MyNameIsTerry; 21-04-21 at 06:18.
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  9. #9

    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Probably she or commented on that because of the phrase 'intrusive thoughts'. Because generally that phrase is towards on the negative side. She or he may mean no harm. Though the phrase 'life at risk' got weight on it.

    @Jo79 what is ROCD?

  10. #10
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    Re: Intrusive thoughts about my child

    Quote Originally Posted by Solarbind View Post
    Probably she or commented on that because of the phrase 'intrusive thoughts'. Because generally that phrase is towards on the negative side. She or he may mean no harm. Though the phrase 'life at risk' got weight on it.

    @Jo79 what is ROCD?
    Relationship OCD. Covers things like worrying you dont love your partner, need to confess past mistakes you made e.g. contact with another or even your perception you did even if your partner says you didn't do anything, etc. Tend to find a lot of checking and confession compulsions in this theme, the latter to gain supposed closure via reassurance which never works for the same reasons it doesn't anywhere else.
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    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

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