Depression/Anxiety causing me to dread a trip

[achung3]

I have had a trip to visit one of my best friends planned for a while now. I am leaving in a day, but my depression and anxiety are causing me to dread going on the trip so much that now I am unsure if I am even excited to go... then this spirals into me getting angry with myself and feeling guilty for ruining something so fun for no good reason. And of course I am constantly overthinking every possible thing that could go wrong while traveling or just whole being generally away from home with new people! It also makes me have an overwhelming feeling of sadness when I begin to think about how past me would be thrilled to be going on this trip and wouldn’t even give a second thought to possibly having a hard/bad time... but now my life has somehow become me laying awake at night crying about how nervous I am to go on this trip because of how my mental health is bogging me down.
I don’t know what to do to get back to the feeling of genuinely looking forward to something without dreading the possibility of my mental health ruining it for me.
Any advice? Or similar past experiences?


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[ankietyjoe]

It's probably a good idea to rephrase this in your head. Anxiety and depression don't make you do anything.

If you're dreading something and overthinking something, it's because YOU are dreading and overthinking it, most likely because of anxiety and depression.

You might not be able to look forward to making the trip because anxiety is unpleasant, but you can reframe the assumed outcomes by telling yourself you'll probably enjoy some of it, that you'll get to see your best friend AND will have done something towards conquering the anxiety. You will have moments when you'll feel terrible, but you do anyway, right?

[achung3]

Thanks for your reply! Yeah I definitely noticed that I need to do some reframing but it’s really hard when I feel like I am the root of all my own problems. It’s like I’m trapped in this cycle on endless depressing thoughts and feelings, but I often blame myself for putting myself in/creating this mental space and for when I can’t pull myself out of it. I just feel so lame and dull all the time, but now that I’m dealing with heightened anxiety about the trip I’m just completely overwhelmed.


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[ankietyjoe]

Yes it is hard, that's why it's a good idea to start practicing the opposite of what you're doing now.

True meditation is also very good for dealing with anxiety and depression as it helps you accept what is happening right this very second without attaching negative emotion to it.

For example, what's the benefit in judging yourself as 'lame' if you're already feeling bad? It's common and relatively normal, but it's not the best way to process the way you're feeling right now. So much of this is habitual, and meditation and mindfulness really help with this, with practice.

[achung3]

Yes it is hard, that's why it's a good idea to start practicing the opposite of what you're doing now.

True meditation is also very good for dealing with anxiety and depression as it helps you accept what is happening right this very second without attaching negative emotion to it.

For example, what's the benefit in judging yourself as 'lame' if you're already feeling bad? It's common and relatively normal, but it's not the best way to process the way you're feeling right now. So much of this is habitual, and meditation and mindfulness really help with this, with practice.

That’s a good point and your example definitely shifted the way I felt in that moment. So I need to remember to keep asking myself questions like these when I feel this way.
I dont really know much about meditation but have begun looking into it given my recent mental health. Thanks!


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[ankietyjoe]

I could talk for days about meditation but to simplify it -

It's not a relaxation technique, and it's not about achieving 'Zen'.

It's simply the practice of focussing your attention on one thing. You don't have to succeed at the focus, you just have to practice the focus. If your mind wanders (and it will), part of the practice is not judging the mind wandering or the subject of your thoughts, it's simply to calmly refocus on the subject of your meditation (usually the breath).

It's this practice of non reaction and living and focusing only on this moment that has a magical effect on reducing anxiety and depression. It helps you re-learn the skill of allowing thoughts to come and go without attaching meaning to every single one of them.

[achung3]

Focus of any kind is tough these days but your tips will help challenge my mind in a more helpful way, thanks!
Unfortunately though I missed my flight early this morning and had to reschedule to fly out tomorrow instead. This was really stressful for my and sent me into panic mode as I was already so nervous to leave. But I am trying to stay positive and am proud of myself for making it out there and being/feeling ready to go. It took a lot of mental preparation this morning and I broke down a couple times, but now I know I am strong enough and capable of facing the same challenge of leaving tomorrow.
I keep trying to remind myself that I can do hard things—just feeling really defeated right now.


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[ankietyjoe]

Doing the hard things is easy, it's keeping a cap on your reaction to doing the hard things that's the harder bit.

And remember, focus is NOT the goal, it's practicing the RE-focus that is the goal. You will never succeed with 100% focus, nobody can do that.

And well done for carrying on. You'll be fine, albeit with some anxiety!

[achung3]

Hi yall, I am traveling to visit my friend tomorrow and am extremely nervous about the flight/drive.
I have a fear of having to throw up/getting uncontrollably nauseous or feeling trapped which often triggers panic leading up to the trip.
It also did not help my anxiety when I missed my original flight this morning and had to reschedule to leave tomorrow. I was already so nervous about leaving and when I thought I was finally ready to take on the challenge and leave home everything flopped. I know if I was capable of fighting through my anxiety to get to the airport today then I can definitely do it tomorrow, but I can’t help but to feel like an idiot for messing up the travel plans and I just want to feel excited about something that should be fun instead of dreading it.


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[Beckybecks]

Hoping that by now you've travelled and survived and relaxed with the relief of knowing that none of your fears actually happened.
Keep hold of that knowledge for future trips.
I also get anxious about traveling anywhere at all I think it's a combination of leaving my safe space and a fear of the unknown and being amongst strangers.
I prepare in advance with a little bag containing anti nausea medication and anxiety meds,peppermints to suck and water to sip on. I take a puzzle book along to distract myself.