Yesterday, a (female) client at my day centre had an epic temper tantrum at lunchtime when we all had to wait our turn before getting our lunches (brought from home) from under the table where they're stored in bags/rucksacks until it's time to eat them, and this other person in my 'bubble' group pushed in front of me to grab her stuff instead of waiting for me to move on after me grabbing my own stuff. The staff who were supervising our group at the time told that person she did wrong by doing what she did (in a non-confrontational or aggressive tone of voice) but she ended up kicking a chair over, slamming her mug down hard on the table, and then screaming at the staff who 'reprimanded' her.

She didn't physically assault anyone, nor did the staff physically restrain her but did escort her from the room for about five minutes or so to enable her to calm down, and of course, diffuse the situation.

But I couldn't help being reminded of similar events that occurred at the residential school I attended back in 1986-88, which was a hotbed for pupils routinely having epic meltdowns and temper tantrums and their being on the receiving end of full-on physical restraints and good hidings from some of the barstewards of staff members there who were perpetually angry and had sadistic tendencies, and I vividly recall hearing this one male staff member brawling with other pupils with temperamental tendencies in the corridors late at night with plenty of shouting, screaming, swearing and fisticuffs ensuing, with me trembling under the duvet in terror!!

It really was like bedlam at times in that place back then!

I'm really feeling on edge and hormonal myself today not only after yesterday's events, but even worse, it making me have flashbacks to that hell-hole of a residential school. Added to that my mom's dementia problems are really getting to me at the same time.

Sometimes I feel as though I might just as well be sectioned or do porridge myself. I just feel so worthless ATM.