My health anxiety has always been so bad since I was a teenager. I had an incident at 15 (I'm 28 now) where I got stuck on top of a mountain and thought I was going to die in that minute. I had my first panic attack that day and since then I started having panic attacks, my therapist said that this put my body into fight or flight mode. I take Zoloft which has helped with the panic attacks. I still have health anxiety but normally people who have health anxiety are back and forth to the doctors but the thing is, I am and always have been since this day pretty much anxious and scared of the doctor. I get scared of having to wait for test results in case of bad results, it is so bad that I called my doctor a while ago and asked the receptionist for my blood test results (I was nervous to get the blood test any way and couldn't relax until I had the results), the receptionist said "I can't give you the results, only the doctor can" I had a full on freak out and thought that it was because the results were bad, the doctor called me and told me it was fine. I am scared to have a smear test because waiting for results scares me so bad. My doctor says that I don't need one any way because I am a lesbian and I don't and have never slept with men and I have no symptoms of anything down there but I still want to get one just because and I want to get a breast exam just because. It's normally an obsession with one particular part of my body at a time, I'll worry about my breasts, then my cervix, then a mole, etc... at one point I even had an obsessive worry about cannibals and being eaten by a cannibal and I really thought it would happen at the time if I thought about it, I think that I convince myself so much that I have a particular illness that it seems real. But I don't understand why I'm scared of the doctors, I think it's the what ifs? I don't know... is this normal? I think I am driving my doctors crazy, I smoke and coughed up brown stuff a while ago, the doctor said it was tar, nothing to worry about but I still panicked. All my family and friends are getting annoyed because I keep asking for reassurance.

I do talk to my doctor, I had a doctors appointment a while ago for a mole, doctor said it was fine, nothing to worry about, then I called back and mentioned again, the doctor now wants to put me on anti psychotics (quietapine)? but I'm scared I'll have a bad reaction to it and have a heart attack.

Can anyone relate to this?