I always used to think in black and white. I used to really struggle with grey areas. I remember saying to my parents that things were either right or wrong but they said to me there are lots of grey areas where reasons can make wrong things right! As I’ve grown older I’ve learnt what they meant that in life if we take the time to understand the reasons behind things then we don’t just take the face value of what something appears to be or mean.
By thinking in black and white we’re rigid and because there’s no flexibility it can add to anxiety through stress and tension because we like certainty which gives us security.
If we learn to relax by not being rigid and allow us to stray from our path of certainty then our anxiety levels can reduce.
In the same way, intensity creates perfectionism which increases stress leading to OCD. By being less intense, more flexible, less perfect and learning to relax by not reacting to worrying thoughts, our anxiety levels become manageable.
For example, if we make everything our own personal responsibility without allowing ourselves other options to ease things, then we have no flexibility. It’s black because we feel We have to do it or white because no one else will, all or nothing without anything in between, then we create too much pressure for ourselves and add to our anxiety.
If something Has to be in a certain place and our intensity doesn’t allow it to be just a faction out then our perfectionism will also create anxiety. We can’t always be perfect so we have to allow ourselves not to be.
When I was at school I used to be so intense that my writing would go through the paper! I wouldn't allow myself to make mistakes. Everything had to be just right and my outlook of life was either black or white, right or just wrong! I was terrible!!!