'Forgotten' disturbances in 1990s Britain.

[Lencoboy]

Hi Fish,

I accept what you say about certain subjects causing anxiety, for sure, but I also know that it's not always helpful to try and shut someone down when they have info that wants out. My husband does it to me. I launch off into my spiel and he shuts me down, and all that does is to make me resent him and want to drop his burger in front of the lurcher. He asks me the same thing too: Why do you do it? I don't know. I just know that I've never been any different. I get fixated. I researched the Hillsborough disaster in depth, and I do mean depth. Serial killers, murders - the works. It's probably not healthy for me, but I also can't help it. This is probably why the only subject I excelled in at school was history! 99% in my mock exam, I'll have you know! It's like that itch you get with Chicken Pox - you absolutely have to scratch!! Only I pick the scab as well - and subsequent scabs.

I can't speak for Len, but I do understand where he comes from a lot of the time, and probably better than most on here. In my case, I've found a pattern that new stressful situations rekindle old ones. The pandemic has stirred up my muck-pot for sure! But then my proverbial waters never, ever, clear.

I sympathise with Len because I know how it feels to have people try and shut me down, and I'd argue that the emotional fall out from that is unhelpful too?

If you have a brain which allows you to choose whether or not to revisit the past then consider yourself fortunate because I don't, and I don't think Len does either. All I can do is to try and make some sense of why people do the things they do..

FMP is definitely correct in the sense that many of the world's political and social problems go back way further than 30 years.

I think it's society's generally blasé and 'couldn't really care less' attitude to stuff like ASB, vandalism, graffiti, etc that has always bothered me. Even my dad has always been known to (and still does to a certain extent) say to me that there's far more important stuff for him to be concerned about at present than things like graffiti tags, of which he has almost always considered relatively trivial, plus he also says there aren't enough police to deal with such incidents. Well back in the 90s and 2000s when there were supposedly more police I don't personally recall the problems with graffiti, vandalism, littering, ASB, etc being that much different to now, in fact I think many of those problems were actually worse back then, and the 'powers that be' (the police, local councils, school headteachers, shop managers, etc) often didn't seem in the slightest bit interested in dealing with them back then.

At the other extreme, ASBOs more often than not seemed to be farcical, especially as they often targeted the wrong type of people, and like 'zero tolerance' in various institutions, they were basically once again 'treating the symptoms, rather than the underlying causes', plus IMO it was/is tantamount to institutionalised vigilantism!

[WiredIncorrectly]

Dunblane massacre is another one forgotten. Most young people today won't know about it.

[NoraB]

FMP is definitely correct in the sense that many of the world's political and social problems go back way further than 30 years.

Of course they do. Humans are the problem and will always be the problem.

I think it's society's generally blasé and 'couldn't really care less' attitude to stuff like ASB, vandalism, graffiti, etc that has always bothered me.

I live end of terrace and have always had this fear that some lout will graffiti my wall, and then I'll have a massive coronary from the stress. I planted some bushes (years ago) to deter this kind of @rseholerly, but they certainly doesn't bother the local Ginger Tom who uses that area as his personal latrine. I've given up shooing him off because he just stares me down (like the insignificant human I am) then he does another shit and he puts some serious effort into burying his load.

He's got some 'tude' has that cat. I call him 'Liam'.

Problem is that we live in a society where the criminal could sue me if he/she (let's not be sexist here) sustains an injury to their crotchal area whilst drawing a massive penis on my wall, and that literally blows my brain! Do they want me to serve them a cream tea while they're at it or what?!

The anomaly here is that I actually like to see the street art in Manchester but I'm not sure how that works in terms of legality? I'm presuming permission is sought before they make with the aerosols?

Litter? don't start me.

Fly-tipping? We have about three incidents a year in our entry where folk just toss their shit out of their car boots and drive off. Mattresses, garden tables and big stuff like that - not stuff I can put into my bin. The council do nothing about it - they say it's our responsibility to get it moved. I had to pay £25 quid to get one lot removed. It was suggested that we 'move the rubbish elsewhere and let it be someone else's problem, but that puts me on the same level as those who did the fly-tipping in the first place!

People walk their dogs and allow them to crap all over the floor and on my garden. Some people throw their used poo bags into my bushes. I mean, if you have the mind to pick up after your hound, why litter the streets? I don't get it.

The pissheads walk past and stick their Carling cans in my bushes. (my recycling bin is a few yards away) but why do that when you can piss someone off?

People walk past and dump their dog poo bags in the bin for cardboard recycling because it's nearest bin to them as they walk past which means that my bin doesn't get emptied because it's contaminated.

I saw a bloke climb over my fence one day and he stole a hoover out of my garden. The hoover was out there because it was going to be skipped - so in a way he did me a favour - but the dude entered my property without permission! Bold as you like! And you can bet that, had he had sustained an injury climbing my fence he'd have tried to sue me!

"I cut my leg open on a rusty nail while attempting to rob stuff from your yard!"

And the lurcher was no use - she just wagged her tail at him!

A driver hit my husband as he was gardening down the side of the house. The police did nothing - despite us giving them a REG number!

I found some bloke taking a pair of loppers to my bushes (the previous ones which we inherited) and when I asked him what the chuffing hell he was doing, he said it was because his Mrs had scratched her car on a branch trying to avoid a pothole. There is legally NO VEHICULAR ACCESS except for the bin waggons and access for residents!

This is just my little corner of the world. People really annoy me!! GRRRRRRR!!!

Anyway, that little rant has excited my colon, so I'll take my leave..

[Lencoboy]

Of course they do. Humans are the problem and will always be the problem.



I live end of terrace and have always had this fear that some lout will graffiti my wall, and then I'll have a massive coronary from the stress. I planted some bushes (years ago) to deter this kind of @rseholerly, but they certainly doesn't bother the local Ginger Tom who uses that area as his personal latrine. I've given up shooing him off because he just stares me down (like the insignificant human I am) then he does another shit and he puts some serious effort into burying his load.

He's got some 'tude' has that cat. I call him 'Liam'.

Problem is that we live in a society where the criminal could sue me if he/she (let's not be sexist here) sustains an injury to their crotchal area whilst drawing a massive penis on my wall, and that literally blows my brain! Do they want me to serve them a cream tea while they're at it or what?!

The anomaly here is that I actually like to see the street art in Manchester but I'm not sure how that works in terms of legality? I'm presuming permission is sought before they make with the aerosols?

Litter? don't start me.

Fly-tipping? We have about three incidents a year in our entry where folk just toss their shit out of their car boots and drive off. Mattresses, garden tables and big stuff like that - not stuff I can put into my bin. The council do nothing about it - they say it's our responsibility to get it moved. I had to pay £25 quid to get one lot removed. It was suggested that we 'move the rubbish elsewhere and let it be someone else's problem, but that puts me on the same level as those who did the fly-tipping in the first place!

People walk their dogs and allow them to crap all over the floor and on my garden. Some people throw their used poo bags into my bushes. I mean, if you have the mind to pick up after your hound, why litter the streets? I don't get it.

The pissheads walk past and stick their Carling cans in my bushes. (my recycling bin is a few yards away) but why do that when you can piss someone off?

People walk past and dump their dog poo bags in the bin for cardboard recycling because it's nearest bin to them as they walk past which means that my bin doesn't get emptied because it's contaminated.

I saw a bloke climb over my fence one day and he stole a hoover out of my garden. The hoover was out there because it was going to be skipped - so in a way he did me a favour - but the dude entered my property without permission! Bold as you like! And you can bet that, had he had sustained an injury climbing my fence he'd have tried to sue me!

"I cut my leg open on a rusty nail while attempting to rob stuff from your yard!"

And the lurcher was no use - she just wagged her tail at him!

A driver hit my husband as he was gardening down the side of the house. The police did nothing - despite us giving them a REG number!

I found some bloke taking a pair of loppers to my bushes (the previous ones which we inherited) and when I asked him what the chuffing hell he was doing, he said it was because his Mrs had scratched her car on a branch trying to avoid a pothole. There is legally NO VEHICULAR ACCESS except for the bin waggons and access for residents!

This is just my little corner of the world. People really annoy me!! GRRRRRRR!!!

Anyway, that little rant has excited my colon, so I'll take my leave..

Some typical examples of feeble excuses and blame games galore!

It's disgusting that for donkeys years now the authorities seemingly haven't been in the slightest bit interested in tackling many of these 'nuisance' issues, but gleefully woe betide people with ASD for having meltdowns in public, give them ASBOs and let people insult, name and shame them, and even let them say things like 'they should be shot at birth' on social media and the like with relative impunity, all in the name of free speech!

Society sucks at times, it really does!

[NoraB]

It's disgusting that for donkeys years now the authorities seemingly haven't been in the slightest bit interested in tackling many of these 'nuisance' issues, but gleefully woe betide people with ASD for having meltdowns in public, give them ASBOs and let people insult, name and shame them, and even let them say things like 'they should be shot at birth' on social media and the like with relative impunity, all in the name of free speech!

Literally anyone who says that autistic people should be shot at birth should be rounded up and done for hate crime.

Some woman screamed at me that my son isn't 'fit to be around 'normal' children' amongst a few other things and some obscenities thrown in for good measure - and this was in front of my son - so I had her cautioned by the police. Hopefully this has caused her to think twice before opening her colossal gob!

Society sucks at times, it really does!

Yes.

[NoraB]

These issues are of immense current importance to Lenco though and although dropping stressful issues would be achievable with a neurotypical person it's far more complex here.

BANG ON!

I recall vividly the feelings of hopelessness and lack of any motivation during my depression and the 'fear' of having my cancer return for several years. The difference is I wasn't always that way and I recognized clearly there was an issue and sought help. Like I did with physical therapy, I worked hard with mental therapy to get myself back to a 'new normal'. I say 'new normal' as the scars remain both physically and mentally from those times.

I think you've done amazingly well in an incredibly difficult situation that most of us on here have only imagined through our HA minds. You are an inspirational bloke, and I admire you a lot - which is why I'm always respectful towards you. But (here's the but) you have a neurotypical brain and there's the difference.

Rumination is written through the autistic brain like a stick of Blackpool rock innit?

Speaking for myself, I've ruminated as long as I can remember and failing a brain transplant I will probably die ruminating over some crap or other...

[BlueIris]

Am I allowed to point out that there's an awful lot of decency in the world, too? Don't want to go all Pollyanna on anyone, but if you're able to approach people in friendship and with an open heart, you'll find a lot of goodness out there, too.

I genuinely don't know whether I'm NT or not - the more I read, the more I suspect not - but I'm not quite ready to see about a diagnosis yet. I'm not saying there aren't a whole lot of intolerant jerks out there, but there are also a lot of good people with caring hearts, and one of the best things we can try to do is be the change we want to see in the world.

[Lencoboy]

Literally anyone who says that autistic people should be shot at birth should be rounded up and done for hate crime.

Some woman screamed at me that my son isn't 'fit to be around 'normal' children' amongst a few other things and some obscenities thrown in for good measure - and this was in front of my son - so I had her cautioned by the police. Hopefully this has caused her to think twice before opening her colossal gob!



Yes.

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the 'hate speech' stuff.

The snide remarks and comments about us Auties being shot at birth, locked up for life, etc, doing the rounds on social media, online forums, etc, were mostly back in the 2000s when such platforms generally had more lenient and cavalier attitudes to hate speech and the like, especially on the 'sticks and stones' principle, but such attitudes and remarks are obviously tolerated far less now than back then, and quite rightly so!

But then we get shot down in flames by the hard-righters and 'anti-cancel culture' brigades and labelled 'snowflakes' and 'wokes'!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Am I allowed to point out that there's an awful lot of decency in the world, too? Don't want to go all Pollyanna on anyone, but if you're able to approach people in friendship and with an open heart, you'll find a lot of goodness out there, too.

I genuinely don't know whether I'm NT or not - the more I read, the more I suspect not - but I'm not quite ready to see about a diagnosis yet. I'm not saying there aren't a whole lot of intolerant jerks out there, but there are also a lot of good people with caring hearts, and one of the best things we can try to do is be the change we want to see in the world.

I agree. If it were the opposite our largely peaceful days would be rife with crime and anti-social behaviour. Workplaces would all be hostile.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the 'hate speech' stuff.

The snide remarks and comments about us Auties being shot at birth, locked up for life, etc, doing the rounds on social media, online forums, etc, were mostly back in the 2000s when such platforms generally had more lenient and cavalier attitudes to hate speech and the like, especially on the 'sticks and stones' principle, but such attitudes and remarks are obviously tolerated far less now than back then, and quite rightly so!

But then we get shot down in flames by the hard-righters and 'anti-cancel culture' brigades and labelled 'snowflakes' and 'wokes'!

It takes us back to the issue of how to spot an Autie. Do we assume everyone acting badly is one, and be afraid to challenge behaviour, or we do assume everyone acting badly is just one of society's pain in the bums, and treat them as antisocial? The complicated truth being somewhere in between and highlighting our need to be non judgemental and to get the facts first.