Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 25

Thread: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    116

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishmanpa View Post
    With all due respect, that's just an excuse. You KNOW it's irrational and the proof is in the first line of your post... "Sorry, this is going to sound really weird."

    I get that it can get out of hand as it was when you were awaiting test results. Heck, even for a person that doesn't have anxiety, that's stressful, but this? Again, with respect, this is just pure and simple reassurance seeking and you could have slapped the dragon upside the head on your own with this one


    Positive thoughts

    With all due respect, I did not KNOW anything - hence the question. Do you not think that I tried to tell myself this repeatedly before I posted? I didn't just have the thought then start a thread. I've thought about it for days and repeatedly tried to decide whether or not this is rational. The 'this might sound weird' was not because I knew it was irrational - it was because I knew it was something most people wouldn't think about. But the fact that it may not cross others' minds doesn't mean it's not a real threat. Most people don't think about putting sunscreen on every day, but they should.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carys View Post
    Indeed, and you had an awful lot of support on that last thread which only ended this morning. Sometimes telling people that they are in a repetitive state, and reminding them is the most helpful. Do remember that you attended 2 appointments for your breast issue, that both told you the same thing - so I would personally say that you did continue to seek reassurance then beyond what was truthfully needed.

    'Sorry this is going to sound really weird' does mean you are aware that it isn't a normal thing to ask, or worry about, which would indicate to me that you have awareness and could have battled the thought and eventually won over it without asking people. I know the nature of anxiety in all its tricks and forms incredibly well, I know how it works, but after years struggling (and being hospitalised a few times) with HA and GA, I've now had decades free of it. It can be done.

    I hear what you are saying about not knowing what is a threat and what isn't, but the clue is in the fact that you used the words above 'sound really weird' and 'am I being irrational'. I think those show that you did, in your heart know it was irrational. The key is when your brain fights back with the negative, you keep plugging away at it, over and over, don't give up and fully commit to the fact that your reassurance is correct. Keep adding in more and more reasons why there is no reason to be concerned - e.g. have you heard of anybody being ill after being sprayed with water from the hairdresser ? No Would anybody else be worrying about this, would it even occur to them ? No Are hairdressers likely to not consider the health and safety of their customers ? No It could be a massive list. You could have actually then exposed yourself to the water on your visit ,after reasurring yourself - sometimes its uncomfortable, yes, and very hard, but you would now be feeling fine after the appointment and have fought through it.
    I didnt continue to seek reassurance after my 2 appointments. I posted the last update on the breast cancer thread in order to reassure others who may be going through something similar that mine turned out to be nothing - I even said that in the thread. Based on your response to my thread (which I've just looked at) I think you misunderstood that. And the reason I had 2 appointments is because I booked a private appointment before my NHS one came through. When it did, my family encouraged me to go to it anyway because they said "doesn't hurt to get a second opinion" - and I'm glad I did because, as I said in my thread, they were much more thorough.

    As I said to Fishman - I did not know it was irrational, even deep down. I thought about it a lot, tried to reassure myself and still couldn't decide. Posting here was a last resort, and honestly, I don't think I'll be doing it again. I understand why some might feel being harsh to be kind is the best way to deal with another person, but I really do just feel attacked - and it's not the first time I have felt this way after posting. Despite that, I do actually appreciate the fact that you took the time to respond to me, but if I can now be honest too - please don't assume that you know what someone else is thinking. I'm glad you've managed to overcome your anxiety but what works for you won't always work for others, nor are they going through the same thought process as you did.

    Take care.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    7,300

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    'Attack' is not something I recognise happening here, I recognise 'challenging'. The methods I was referring to are a tiny part of cbt, tried and tested methods and not individual to me, and as your post history starts in 2012 with HA I thought it might be worth suggesting. I wasn't being harsh, I was being honest, sorry you feel that way. (Regarding your breast cancer thread - you were involved in catastrophic thinking and diagnosed yourself with secondary rampant cancers, and booked a private appointment due to your fear in advance of your NHS appointment, and had had an ultrasound on the same unchanged area 3 years ago...so I can't agree that you were legitimately responding to the 'threat') . OK, I'll leave it there, I was trying to be helpful.
    Last edited by Carys; 28-04-21 at 20:48.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    24,667

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by HopeI'mWrong:P View Post
    it was because I knew it was something most people wouldn't think about.
    Thank you for affirming my post.

    FMP
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    1,492

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Agree pretty strongly with Carys here. She made very good comments that were intended to challenge your current way of thinking.

    sometimes when we’re so deep into an anxiety spiral, we’re very defensive. Defensive of our thought processes, defensive of our behaviors. We don’t like getting called out to challenge our thinking because in our minds, we’re being entirely rational. But what good does it do to post on an anxiety forum if you don’t want those irrational thoughts challenged? Would you prefer to continue with the irrational thoughts and stay in the spiral?

    I find for myself, it helps to step outside my own head. Re-read your post as though you weren’t the one posting it, what advice would you have given to the poster? Doing this exercise, can you see no one is attacking the OP, but just trying to get them to look at their thought process a different way?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Why not just ask the hairdresser whether the water was fresh that day? Would you feel comfortable asking him/her? You would get a definite answer then.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,889

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by HopeI'mWrong:P View Post
    but I really do just feel attacked - and it's not the first time I have felt this way after posting
    Really?

    Yes, you were being completely irrational in your original post. Reassurance is not a healthy way to deal with anxiety long term. As an adult you need to develop the skills to sift out the rational from the irrational, anxiety or not. Also as an adult you really, really need to also develop some thicker skin.....anxiety or not.

    You were NOT attacked here. Not even once.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    7,747

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Really?

    Yes, you were being completely irrational in your original post. Reassurance is not a healthy way to deal with anxiety long term. As an adult you need to develop the skills to sift out the rational from the irrational, anxiety or not. Also as an adult you really, really need to also develop some thicker skin.....anxiety or not.

    You were NOT attacked here. Not even once.
    Going with the concensus here. Providing reassurance for HA just reinforces the neural pathways that are telling you there's something to worry about in the first place. People with nothing to worry about - people like you - don't need to be reassured.
    __________________
    ************************************************** ********
    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    You won't like these responses but they are meant to challenge the way you think not to "attack" you as a person. Any decent therapist would do the same.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,889

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Any decent therapist would do the same.
    This is crucially true.

    It's the poor therapists who keep you coming back for reassurance and 'care' week in week out.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    116

    Re: Am I being irrational? Hairdressers water bottle germs

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Really?

    Yes, you were being completely irrational in your original post. Reassurance is not a healthy way to deal with anxiety long term. As an adult you need to develop the skills to sift out the rational from the irrational, anxiety or not. Also as an adult you really, really need to also develop some thicker skin.....anxiety or not.

    You were NOT attacked here. Not even once.

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    This is crucially true.

    It's the poor therapists who keep you coming back for reassurance and 'care' week in week out.
    You're going to tell me to magic up some thicker skin, on a forum created for people suffering with a mental health disorder. Nice. And "poor therapists" - are you even aware at this point that you're pretty much trolling the vulnerable?

    I've never shared this before, but I was diagnosed many years ago with Borderline Personality Disorder with strong autistic traits (my younger sibling is autistic, so not a huge surprise). Telling me to "develop some thicker skin" is cruel, insensitive and unnecessary - BPD or no BPD.

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Why not just ask the hairdresser whether the water was fresh that day? Would you feel comfortable asking him/her? You would get a definite answer then.
    I thought about doing this but I didn't know if it was weird. As mentioned, I have BPD and autistic traits, so it's not always obvious to me what is 'normal' and what is not. Trying to navigate it feels like I'm walking through a minefield.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishmanpa View Post
    Thank you for affirming my post.

    FMP
    Fishman, I notice you didnt quote the whole paragraph I posted, which would have provided more context the anyone else reading this. I believe you singled out that one line because, out of context, it may appear to support your opinion. But you know that it's not what I meant - just admit it. Or don't, I honestly don't care.

    The only person I would like to apologies to here is Carys. On reflexion, I do beleive you were trying to help and I am sorry that I became so defensive. In all honesty, I read Fishman's post before I read yours, and because FMP, along with another user, became (what I deemed to be) extremely judgy towards me in a previous thread (which was noticed by other users who privately messaged me to see if I was OK because of it) it rubbed me up the wrong way, so I was already stressed when I read your post. Again, I am sorry and I truly appreciate that you took the time to respond to me.

    When I first joined this forum years ago, it helped me immensely. I believed I had found a supportive, non-judgmental community with whom I could openly discuss my anxieties, regardless of how irrational they were. Back then, people were kind and understanding. I find that this has slowly changed.

    The fact that there is a real sense of community here is, in a way, nice to see. However, as is the case in many small communities, it seems quite clicky. Users 'know' other users and tend to side with them (and I am not just talking about me or this thread). And in all honesty, some users almost appear to have a superiority complex - telling others that they know what they are thinking or feeling, and what they MUST do to fix this (as opposed to asking how what they're feeling, or kindly suggesting a way to deal with the sh**storm that is anxiety). Some also assume that the posters don't know anything about anxiety or CBT (FYI: I actually have a degree in psychology from a prestigious university, as well as training in, and personal experience of, CBT). Anxiety doesn't work like that - it's not always rational and there's not a one-size-fits-all approach - which is pretty much Psych 101.

    I'm leaving it there. But for anyone reading this who is also struggling and would like to have a private, non-judgmental chat, feel free to message me
    Last edited by HopeI'mWrong:P; 30-04-21 at 01:36.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Germs and bateria ocd... but i do not have history or germs ocd.
    By Audi in forum OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-10-17, 23:34
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-07-17, 20:09
  3. Drank too much water today and worrying about water intoxication
    By nervousmummytobe in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-04-15, 17:11
  4. bottle of water
    By HB in forum Symptoms
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 01-06-04, 09:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •