I usually ramble and don’t want to in this case so I’ll try to cut right to the chase. In March I noticed a grape sized hard lump at the back of my neck on one side at my hairline. I looked at it and saw some redness under the hair in the middle. I shaved that area of hair off to get a better look and saw it was a pinkish red patch that is smooth and sort of feels waxy but doesn’t seem scaly. There are small white spots that almost look like scar tissue and feel mildly bumpy but no crust or peeling or anything. It’s mostly smooth and not painful. Sometimes I barely see it, almost like it’s gone and sometimes it’s quite pink. I do have an itchy head and behind my ears, down back of my neck but it comes and goes and isn’t incessant, and not severe. . I take very hot baths where my neck is up against the hard back of my tub, but I’ve been doing that for ages. I did start wearing wigs in February and they had a comb that dig into my neck a bit but I wouldn’t think this would last that long if it was because of that. No other symptoms other than fatigue but I’ve had that chronically for years. Has anyone else ever had anything like this? I’ve included two photos - one right after the shave and one an hour later. You can see the difference, the redness greatly reduced and shrunk, but there is still that one patch, so I'm worried that while the shaving did irritate it, there's something else that's wrong in the first place. I try to tell myself that cancer doesn't behave this way, but I can't get it out of my head that even though it does appear better now, there's still that patch there. I looked at some photos of t-cell and some of them look much milder than this so I am really freaked out. I know, that's terrible OCD behaviour. I also know some of you will remember me and probably be annoyed with this post. I don't blame you - I'm annoyed with myself. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, health anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. I'm currently trying to find the right medication and working with a therapist. I'm also going through an awful separation that is leading to a divorce - I was with my husband for 13 years and we have a child. It's been really panful adjusting to being alone, especially because my level of self isolation due to mental health is really intense. And sharing my daughter, having to have her and then hand her over to him, has ben excruciating. y dad was diagnosed with follicular lymphoma last spring and since then lymphoma has been a huge fear.
The photo is from today after i retouched the shaving job to see better. I wish it was better quality but I have to take it in a mirror. I have very sensitive skin so it’s extra pink right now form the shaving. It kind of comes and goes but never fully goes, gets really bright then sort of fades. The shaving did not cause this, the rash was there before the shave. I shaved because of the rash. I’m really terrified of T cell lymphoma because this has been there for like almost two months and I don’t think that’s normal. I also read that this type of lymphoma is really bad and can take years to be found out. I can’t see my doctor until I get my vaccine next week, because of extreme covid anxiety, so was hoping to get some help from the forum before then if possible. I’m really terrified as it seems consistent with T cell and I’m basically doomed if that’s the case. I haven’t had blood work done in a few years and so I’m terrified this has gone undetected. Is there any chance that in the span of almost two months, if the rash was there and it was T cell, I would be quite ill by now? By the way, I am in CBT but it is slow going because my therapist can only see me once every two weeks. I feel consumed by this and am very frightened. My grandfather had psoriasis and I think my brother might have eczema but am not sure. But this feels sinister because it has hung around so long. And yes, I know nobody can diagnose me but am just wondering if anyone has had something like this that was nothing bad. Note that the tiny red blood dots in the image are from the shaving that I had just done, as are the blotches on the upper right side of the photos, they weren't there before I shaved, and again, the rash does fade to a much lighter/less intense colour and get brighter/more prevalent at times. Sorry if photos are frowned upon - I see that there is a spot to include them and assumed that it's okay to otherwise it probably wouldn't be there, but I'm truly sorry if it's the wrong thing to do.
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Originally Posted by Shadyboo
