How do you know when an ache is just your anxiety?

[Worrywart1234]

I had been congratulating myself on being so much better the last few months, now here I am again.

I am totally fixated on my armpit at the moment. One day I thought one armpit looked puffier than the other. I couldn’t feel a specific lump, just an overall puffiness type thing. Ever since then, my anxiety has just been out of control.

Now I feel like sometimes I can feel a feeling - like a sore muscle, type ache in my armpit. It is not all the time, but I would feel it every day. I think maybe the feeling moves, though, sometimes it’s at the front crease of my armpit, sometimes towards the back. I don’t think it is ever actually IN my armpit (if you know what I mean). The puffiness is in the front crease of my armpit - also not IN my armpit.

Sometimes when I can’t feel that funny ache, I look for it and wonder why it’s not there....and the worst part is I’m just not sure if sometimes it’s just in my mind. I do definitely feel it though. It’s getting to the point where I can’t look at myself in the mirror, or touch that part of my body. I’m just not sure that’s normal.

My husband has looked many times and says both armpits look the same to him, and that they don’t feel different to him. Then I think to myself, if it was something fatal he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway...

Surely if it was the C word the pain would be severe and constant, not coming and going? I am fixated on lymph nodes, but I have to honest, I don’t even know where they are in my armpit (are they right up in the top? Or around the edges?? Probably best not to answer anyway, it will just fuel the beast for me).....But, again, how normal is it to worry about something like that if you don’t even know where you should be worried about or what it would feel like? I just need some help.

I’m sorry for the long post, but I just can’t get past this. If anyone has any words of wisdom for me I would appreciate it.

[Scass]

I don’t necessarily know that it’s just anxiety, but I do tend to take a wait and see approach. I also try not to fiddle as that will make it worse. I have a rule that I won’t look or touch more than once a day, and if it’s still there after 2 weeks then I will see the doctor.

Of course it depends on the severity of the symptoms, but that’s what I’ve done with a couple of things over the last few years.


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[sel123]

Hi there -- Wondering if you ever got this solved? I am having the exact same issues as you!! Would love to know how you're doing!

[NoraB]

My husband has looked many times and says both armpits look the same to him, and that they don’t feel different to him. Then I think to myself, if it was something fatal he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway...

Why does it have to be fatal? Hang on, I've had a breakdown due to health anxiety; I know that aches and pains always have to have terminal diseases..

Surely if it was the C word the pain would be severe and constant, not coming and going?

As far as I know, that's the case.

I am fixated on lymph nodes, but I have to honest

And that's why you have the issue. I regularly have achy armpits and age has done weird things to how they look, but that applies to the rest of my body ha ha!

When we become fixated on areas of our body, we can see things that don't actually exist - it's like when I had an eating disorder and saw myself as 'fat' when I was 6 stone. It was real enough to me at the time, but looking at photographs now, I can see how my mind was playing tricks on me.

Glands have a job to do and that's to protect us and our bodies are constantly fighting things off and on a daily basis. Minor infections like sore throats and colds will enlarge the glands - either both of them or just one. They usually go back down after a few weeks. Even when glands are swollen up for weeks on end; cancer is the unlikeliest cause.

If you're having to scrutinize your armpits (and nobody else can see anything) then I'd suggest there's nothing there, but be aware that constantly prodding areas of the body will naturally make them feel achy - sore even - and this fuels the health anxiety fire, only it's us who are creating the symptom. You see?

Given that this was an issue for you back in April and you're still struggling, I doubt that anything we say will reassure you long-term. Only therapy can do that...

[Worrywart1234]

Thankyou to those who have replied

Sel123, I believe I have solved it....it was just my anxiety making me crazy. After I posted that, I really took some time (many weeks) to give myself a mental punch in the nose. I kept repeating to myself all those things that NoraB said, banned myself from this site and put some serious effort into all those mindfulness strategies we all know about, but sometimes struggle to use when we’re in the thick of it....The funny thing is that after a few weeks of really putting some solid hard work in, those sensations vanished - gone for good. I believe my armpits look and feel and ARE the same - but I’m still not game enough to look in the mirror to check!!!! The sensations have not returned.

As soon as I realised I was over it, I started feeling a little sensation in my breast right next to it.....but I truly believe I’m just addicted to the feeling of panic...How else to explain one thing vanishing and a brand new thing appearing almost instantly. For me, it’s just the nature of the beast. Nora B is right, I’ve been fixated on my armpit since April, funnily enough I’ve been going through a huge amount of unrelated stress in my life since April, and for me, I think, stress appears as HA. It’s an ongoing struggle.

[sel123]

First, thank you so much for responding. Everything you posted is how I’ve been feeling and like you, I have had a ton of stress and anxiety which always manifests physically. I spent all of feb and March obsessed with my thyroid. I’m going to take your advice and try to so some meditation exercises and I am seeing a new therapist. I was feeling great yesterday when I was with friends but then it was like the anxiety monster was lurking all day, waiting to attack me as soon as I was alone again. I’m so glad you are feeling better and again, thank you so much for responding. Its extremely helpful!

[Worrywart1234]

That’s how I convinced myself it was nothing to worry about....If there is no pain all day while you’re occupied and only shows up when you stop moving and sit down quiet or by yourself, it has to be anxiety. If the pain was there 24 hours a day no matter what you did, then you’d start to think it was more than anxiety. When I first started seeing my psychologist, she told me I let my anxiety run away with me. She showed me I never once challenged any of my fears and just let them take me over. It’s really difficult to do when you’re in the middle of it, but it really does help to stop, do some deep breathing and challenge your fears by trying to look at them logically. I hope you start to find a bit more calm soon.