*I think* i made a positive step today

[FreeBirdPartyTown]

Hi,

Today i handed my notice in!!, i've been suffering from anxiety for a long time but it got worse recently when my sister had a Covid Stroke and spent all of xmas and most of January in hospital and it just knocked me down (she has 4 kids all relatively young) and it just sent my anxiety through the roof.

I have been in touch with the doctors who have me some meds but i'm kinda sat waiting for CBT which would be years as it currently stands the NHS list.

As it is i was struggling with work and have pretty much taken all my holiday leave up (they gave me January off as furlough) as i was helping my sister and family out.

but i've found recently i just cannot work my brain fogs, up i get exhausted and cannot function, i cannot sleep, spend all my spare time worrying, and / or isolating myself from my wife and kids.

So i've handed my notice in against the Doctors advice, and do have a new position to go to but boy i can't help the feeling i have made a massive mistake, what will happen if i have the same issues at the new position, i hope the anxiety is fuelled by the coronavirus and bad management at work (feeling isolated as they never communicated with me, and the lack of a team as everybody else is working from home.)

The new job is more money so i already feel more valued but of course more money can mean higher expectations. i have now 6/7 weeks off to prepare myself for it as i really don't want to screw this up.

I hope it's a positive step as i find this a real struggle and it gets harder and harder to carry on, i try and hide this from my wife and kids but its starting to break me!.

[Scissel]

Welcome to NMP: FreeBirdPartyTown

This is a huge step forward and I wish you all the best going forward with your progress - both with therapy and your new job.

~S

[AuntWithIssues87]

Congrats and best wishes to you! I know someone who recently did this also. Giving me more encouragement do to this myself as I am unhappy with my job situation.

[Scass]

Congratulations on the new job! Don’t concentrate on the negative what if’s, because what if it’s all good? You need to work on your anxiety too though.
I hope your sister is recovering well.


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[FreeBirdPartyTown]

Thanks,

my sister is kinda ok, she has some brain damage, lost function of one hand and one leg but is mobile, and can talk etc so i think it could have been worse.

I feel a bit more positive today, yesterday was the day i handed my notice in and now have 6 weeks off work to try and figure it all out

[FreeBirdPartyTown]

Bottled this in the end, really disappointed in myself. My old place offered me a bit more money but also the chance to start back at work 3 days a week, the new job offered me even more money to counter this but when i saw the box for sick days in the last year i just couldnt do it. I have a perfect record for 2 years plus but in the last few months have had a few months off.

Just didn't want to start at a new place with super high expectations and flake out instantly leaving me with no job. or answer the occy health questions.

feel really bad about it in all honest, Like a loser.

Im still dreading going back to work next week as i just don't know what to expect.