Hello 👋🏻
I posted on here for the first time a week or so following pregnancy loss but soon after forced myself to have an internet break as I was going down the Google hole 🙄.
Since then I’ve had a massive flare up of health anxiety and I’m literally paralysed with fear. I’ve spent every day either in bed or on the sofa - not doing anything other than scrolling on my phone. Can’t concentrate, can’t eat, sleep etc.
I’m having some very scary physical symptoms which at first I was hoping was anxiety but now I’m worried something is going on.
I started struggling with the urge to wee frequently which I started panicking was due to pressure in my cervix from trapped clots (don’t ask me why, it didn’t even make sense). To sum up I had a bacterial cervix infection that was misdiagnosed as a UTI twice. I’m now on metronidazole after 2 courses of different antibiotics for the non UTI.
During this time I became paranoid about retained products of conception and PID. When neither of those were found I was relieved and went back on sertraline to sort the anxiety. I then started getting this aching, pressure feeling in my perineal area. Literally felt like I had a golf ball wedged there and for some unknown reason started panicking about prolapse. Knowing one of the signs can be frequent need to wee I was obsessing and constantly checking. Then one day I suddenly thought ‘oh god what if I can’t wee?’ Then sure enough I started having hesitancy and was paranoid I would go in to retention. I was terrified every time I went for a wee and found I was taking ages to start. Then one night after obsessing over prolapse for hours I went to the toilet and my whole perineum felt like it was spasming. I felt like i couldn’t wee (although I did) and panicked.
Went to lie down and after going to the toilet before bed, felt reduced sensation when I wiped. I pinched the area and although I could feel, I couldn’t feel pain.
Went to bed and the sensation was in my saddle/groin area but eased after a while.
Panicked about cauda equina and went to see GP next day. Neuro exam was fine and had full sensation.
The sensation keeps returning and sometimes I feel like I take a while to wee when my bladder isn’t thy full. I was trying to attribute it to sitting down too much but yesterday I woke up with numbness down my left leg and all over my buttock/ saddle area. Went straight to A&E thinking cauda equina. After a few minutes of walking the sensation had passed and by the time I got to a&e all was ok. Normal neuro exam again and bladder empty on scan so dr happy it’s nothing Acute.
I’m losing my mind over these symptoms. I am so worried it’s a spinal tumor, MS or a slow onset cauda equina. The numbness comes and goes and is worse when I wake up. I am sitting down most of the day but I’m paralysed with fear. I can’t do anything. I’ve now developed a tight chest and breathing feels so hard. I have been tensing a lot and shaking most of the day. My diaphragm and ribs feel tight and my muscles and back hurt. I’ve got pain on pressing my sternum and I’m worried this is something sinister. I keep thinking I have muscle weakness from MND or am experiencing the MS hug! When I sleep I feel like I’m going to stop breathing and am breathing really shallow. It’s so uncomfortable.
I’m so scared!
Can this be anxiety as the GP thinks?? I can’t see how I can have all this numbness in the areas I have??
Gosh I’m a mess
If you got this far thanks for reading. Xx