Breast anxiety, anyone had help or can help?

[Rosanna]

Just an update, the therapist is suggesting that I redirect my focus from what could be wrong to what is going on with me emotionally. That I'm avoiding fear over avoiding a certain outcome. I think this ties in with my idea that the effective treatment for this avoidance is to be prepared for what one would consider the worst outcome.

I may ask for a break in therapy because I think it's a mountain to climb and I don't feel I have the inner resources to do all this yet. Exhausting. But I think that's because of so much other stuff going on in my life right now.

[Smafraid]

Going through horrible bc fears myself right now. Circle rash on my left breast which in my head is ibc. Every free second I’m either checking my breast or googling ibc rashes. I’ve been given two possible diagnoses from my derm but she knew nothing about ibc so no relief there. It’s terrifying imagining something so bad in your body and the fear of doctors can be crippling. I haven’t gone into a doctors office without crying in years. Waiting for test results I feel sick for days.

[Rosanna]

Smafraid, it's late at the moment so I have to keep this brief, my brain isn't working at the moment (I'm in the UK). It seems to me there's no escape for these fears if we are looking at the outcome of our medical assessments for the reassurance. What I mean is, if we are told 'benign' then our anxiety goes down, if we are told 'malignant' then it goes up. Naturally. But even before all the assessments it seems, at least with me, I am hoping for everything to be ok (again natural but the trap is also there) and my levels of anxiety are dependent on that. I think the freedom to all this is to decide to face the situation, even if that means facing something that we don't want to hear.

I say that, but I'm not ready and I've asked to stop work with the therapist for a while because I have a lot going on and I may know what the key to freedom from this is, that doesn't mean I want to do it yet.

The reason I think it's the answer is anything else, even being told something is benign, just leads to anxiety about the next time and the next time, etc. I think I need to address my ability to handle the anxiety.