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Thread: My anxiety is being triggered

  1. #491
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    May 2014
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    I think you made the right decision with the Buddha sessions catkins. If it doesn't give you comfort or inspiration, then it's pretty much pointless.
    You did fantastic when you were away and it was a hot week as well. Sometimes you get a one step forward , two steps back feeling after something like that, but it's ok, it's not a permanent state and your mind will be processing everything including your Buddha experience.
    Personally anyone who plugs a CD on arrival would put me off immediately. I quite like a lot of the Buddha practices but the one you mention doesn't sound like something I would enjoy either. Luckily you had the intuition to realise it wasn't for you.

  2. #492
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    May 2021
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by Lencoboy View Post
    Probably because you're back to the more mundane once again.
    You could be right, even at my most 'normal' I usually have a dip mood wise when I come back from holiday.

  3. #493
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    I think you made the right decision with the Buddha sessions catkins. If it doesn't give you comfort or inspiration, then it's pretty much pointless.
    You did fantastic when you were away and it was a hot week as well. Sometimes you get a one step forward , two steps back feeling after something like that, but it's ok, it's not a permanent state and your mind will be processing everything including your Buddha experience.
    Personally anyone who plugs a CD on arrival would put me off immediately. I quite like a lot of the Buddha practices but the one you mention doesn't sound like something I would enjoy either. Luckily you had the intuition to realise it wasn't for you.
    Yes definitely not for me. Generally I like Buddhist teaching etc, and have previously gone to things and quite liked it. But not this version I feel.

    Anyway plodding on at work today and going to get back to using the things that work for me.

  4. #494
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Do you like Russell Brand? He's doing a new tour around the country and is into all things Buddha/meditation-related.

  5. #495
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Do you like Russell Brand? He's doing a new tour around the country and is into all things Buddha/meditation-related.
    I used to really dislike him, but I watched a few of his things on YouTube and now follow him. I might look into that.

  6. #496
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    May 2021
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    I've had to come home from work. I spoke to my counsellor this morning so I was late going in. Then at lunchtime there was lots of talk about what a state the department is in and I just started to feel very anxious. My thoughts started spiralling into negativity and I had to leave.

    I feel terrible. I feel like I'm letting them down. I feel like I'm letting everyone down.

  7. #497
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    You are not responsible for what is happening in your department and are letting no one down whether it's now by coming home or in general.

    It's panic when you hear negative stuff. It's all around us at the moment. It's hardly surprising that you feel overwhelmed.

    Take things slowly this afternoon and try and get away from the anxiety focus? I know you do a great job on here trying to help others but it does drag you (
    anyone) down. You don't need other people's angst.

    Can you go for a walk and have a quiet moment at your mum's grave? Have a "chat" with her?

  8. #498
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    May 2021
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Thank you Pulisa, I really value your perspective.

    Things are tough at work and that has been getting to me as well as other things. I'm still phoning my stepdad daily to see if he's alright. I only phoned once when I was away. I really don't want to phone him as much now. It's very draining and I didn't phone my mum so much when she was alive.

    Also with this site it is tough to deal with at times, sometimes it's reassuring to know people feel like you though. Maybe I should cut down my visits. I come on a few times a day. I try to help if I can, usually I don't have anything positive to say.

    I think my biggest emotion at the moment though is disappointment. I felt so so good when I came back from my holiday, I even thought at one point that I was finally feeling like myself. But no, it was just a brief reprieve.

    I'll start back taking the propanolol again tonight, I'll start taking 1/2 a Promethazine in the morning again. I'm not going to attempt any kind of spiritual journey either deliberately or by accident (as with Saturdays course). It's just so tough.

    When I was away I felt like I had started to see the beauty in things again. I want that to continue. I don't want to feel this fragile in years to come. It's such a tough journey.

  9. #499
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Maybe you had finally found some "peace" in that you had got away from home and everything associated with your bereavement.. Checking up on your stepdad when you were grieving for your mum and needing someone to check up on you too...Checking up on your husband and fearing for his health when he could have been comforting you even in a small way..and checking up on your team at work where morale is low and the general mood must be pretty demoralising?

    Just finding that small ray of light away from it all must make it harder to come back to the daily grind where you feel under the cosh continuously? Treadmill syndrome?

  10. #500
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    May 2021
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Good grief! I think you're absolutely spot on. Now I just need to figure out how I can hang on to a bit of that peace feeling in day to day life.

    Also maybe I should avoid holidays for a while, they seem to cause no end of trouble for me (nope don't want to do that!)

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