My anxiety is being triggered

[Pamplemousse]

Could I get to sleep last night, could I bugger.

I was too hot, the skin on my feet felt too dry. I wasn't comfortable. Brain was overactive. But eventually managed to sleep. Slept for about 7 hours which is pretty good. Now I'm up and showered - which is pretty good as I didn't get dressed until about 11 yesterday.

Little steps Catkins, but good ones.

Keep going - you can do this.

[Catkins]

Little steps Catkins, but good ones.h

Keep going - you can do this.

Thank you x

[Catkins]

Well today wasn't too bad either. Was anxious as per the norm this morning but just took a tablet instead of trying to pretend I didn't need it.

Still sat around a lot, but I did hoover downstairs, plant some lobelia that have been sitting in the bag that I bought them home in 2 weeks ago in our little back yard. Then we took the dog for a walk and sat outside a restaurant and had a pizza!

Totally wiped out as I don't think I've used my leg muscles as much for a month.

I'm hoping I might get to sleep a little easier tonight because I used my body.

[Catkins]

Well I didn't sleep great last night, but I was able to not get too anxious about it. So that was good.

I also, even though I did feel anxious when I first got up, didn't need to take a promethazine first thing. Which was also good. I also managed to get up, dressed and go out with the dog and be back by 9.30am. Another good thing.

Things seem a little strained with my husband though. I think I'm being a little distant from him (self preservation?) and he's showing signs that he minds and isn't happy about it.

I'm trying not to let it get to me at the moment. But it's very difficult with everything that's happened lately, I'm not the normal me and I'm not sure that going back, even if I could, to the person I was 6 weeks ago would be good for anyone.

[pulisa]

Remember that he's used to you being concerned about his health and providing reassurance when he needs it. You've been his crutch and now he's aware that you're distancing yourself quite rightly from his HA and he doesn't like it. He won't like it but it's the best thing for both of you.

I think you're right to see this recent episode as a wake up call. Things had got overwhelming and you had far too much to deal with in all aspects of your life. Something had to give..it did..and you have learned from it and reassessed your priorities.

[Catkins]

Bad night sleep wise last night. Woke up at 3am from a nightmare about a snake trying to get me. I know this probably sounds ridiculous but I think it's to do with my husband. He mentioned sex the other day and I declined because I don't think I'm ready and I know it hurt him. But I still feel very vulnerable and I'm not ready to open up like that. This is probably TMI.

Also I had a moment of weakness last night. This also probably sounds ridiculous too. But we're sleeping in separate rooms at the moment, both our sleeps are too fragile at the moment. But last night as I was getting ready for bed in our room, I asked him if he'd found his anti-spasmodics (he said he couldn't find them the night before), he said no, so off I trotted to get them for him. I know it's a small thing but afterwards I really regretted doing it, he's an adult and I shouldn't run round after him and I think it showed a little sign of me taking back over the 'caring' role. It might not seem much but I think it was a mistake and showed signs of me slipping back into what I've done previously which isn't good for either of us.

Then, he came into the room that I'm sleeping in at 7am this morning and woke me up. I don't know if he just needed a bit of reassurance but it didn't feel right.

Going to take an anti-anxiety tablet this morning. It's not a sign of weakness, I'm just know that my head is swirling.

[Pamplemousse]

But last night as I was getting ready for bed in our room, I asked him if he'd found his anti-spasmodics (he said he couldn't find them the night before), he said no, so off I trotted to get them for him. I know it's a small thing but afterwards I really regretted doing it, he's an adult and I shouldn't run round after him and I think it showed a little sign of me taking back over the 'caring' role. It might not seem much but I think it was a mistake and showed signs of me slipping back into what I've done previously which isn't good for either of us.

Mmm, I wouldn't obsess over that.

[Catkins]

Mmm, I wouldn't obsess over that.

I kind of tackled it earlier and said something to the effect of, ' what was I thinking about last night, running to get those pills for you - you don't need me to do that for you'. Kind of made me feel a bit better.

[pulisa]

I would put the anti spasmodics in an agreed place and tell him that it is his responsibility to take them. He knows where they are so the onus is on him not you. If he forgets to take them and has pain he will soon learn that it's up to him to manage his IBS.

[Catkins]

I would put the anti spasmodics in an agreed place and tell him that it is his responsibility to take them. He knows where they are so the onus is on him not you. If he forgets to take them and has pain he will soon learn that it's up to him to manage his IBS.

Very good point.