My anxiety is being triggered

[pulisa]

I'm glad you're getting out now..It'll be carnage later on.

Really well done..You'll be very tired after your trip so I hope you don't have work tomorrow?

[Catkins]

No fortunately I have a weeks holiday now - which I'm looking forward to.

[pulisa]

Take it easy when you get back and I hope the train journey goes quickly!

[Carnation]

London can be quite overwhelming at the best of times but the Euro final was bound to be chaos.
I always think London is the nicest in the winter.
You did well catkins. Pleased you have another week to chill. xx

[Catkins]

Thank you.

Well I have mixed feelings about the weekend this morning. Still feeling quite anxious and very tired. My stomach is feeling really tender after being upset on Saturday night.

I so loved seeing our son. But, it could just be me, but I did feel like it was an inconvenience for him. He was out on Thursday night so was hungover on Friday night when we saw him, then he went out Saturday night and was hungover when we saw him on Sunday.

It's so hard not being the focus of someone's life anymore, after years of being so. He was my little buddy when he was growing up and now I feel superfluous to his life. He is a grown man and I know he has to live his own life now. But even at 24 he is still my boy. I feel quite sad about it.

I'm glad we went and it was great to see him and do things together, but it was such hard work. I think I found it so difficult because of my problems with anxiety, but I think I would have found it quite difficult anyway. Maybe if was too much too soon? But I couldn't not go. I couldn't miss the opportunity to see him.

Such a maelstrom of emotions this morning. Feel like I could do with a nloody good cry, but one isn't forthcoming.

So glad I'm not at work.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry, Catkins, that sounds like such a sad weekend.

Take it easy this week, okay?

[pulisa]

Your feelings as a Mum are completely normal but this won't be of any consolation..especially when you have been through so much very recently.

You must be exhausted now and the whole weekend will have really taken it out of you mentally and physically. He'll always be your boy and he'll always need his Mum whatever his circumstances. You haven't lost that bond even if he appears to be independent now..

[Catkins]

Thank you. Going to try to be kind to myself today. I know a lot of how I'm feeling will be tiredness. Just got to give myself some time. Going g to get showered soon, then go pick up our dog from a friends. It'll be good to see her.

[pulisa]

I bet she'll be pleased to see you too! Try and have a quiet day today and don't overthink the weekend too much? It was a big challenge and you did it despite the anxiety. You should be proud of this because it was a big achievement.

[Catkins]

I bet she'll be pleased to see you too! Try and have a quiet day today and don't overthink the weekend too much? It was a big challenge and you did it despite the anxiety. You should be proud of this because it was a big achievement.

I know a few weeks ago there would have been no way I could have even attempted it. So I should be pleased. Even feeling so shit yesterday I got through the day. Glad to be home, even though we're still in chaos.

I will keep trying to focus on the positives.