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Thread: My anxiety is being triggered

  1. #581
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    2,634

    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    You have got a lot on your plate atm. There’s a lot going on in your life.

    I for one have nothing but admiration for podiatrists. We see one regularly with my mothers foot ulcers. She is amazing and we are very grateful for all she does for us.
    This is just your anxiety demon sitting whispering in your ear. By all means do your pros and cons list but don’t let anxiety write it for you.
    if you turned it down, how would you feel? Relieved? Regretful? Disappointed?

    Tests can be draining, it never seems to end. And yes you do get fed up to the back teeth with them. I am in this position with my mother..it’s a strain getting her to go now….but go she does. There is an end in sight Catkins, keep plodding on towards it and you will get there.

    As for flashing that chap. Least said soonest mended. Don’t go mumbling any more apologies. Let it go and I’m sure both of you will forget it
    as life takes over and time goes.
    Unless of course he looked like Tommy Shelby. That would be a different matter.

    Keep strong Catkins, I know you’ve got this…you just don’t know yourself yet…but you will.
    __________________
    It’s a cruel beast that you feed…..

    Ghost…Spillways

  2. #582
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    2,737

    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Thank you both.

    I've been a little slack with my meditation and yoga over the last few of weeks. We went to London and it's been a bit full on really since then with my husband going away for 8 days, then him coming home, then a few days later our son arriving home for a week (although for the second half he was at a music festival - so was in and out for showers mainly). When our son was home I forgot my mum and stepdads wedding anniversary, which I feel terrible about.

    I've become aware that this week I've been keeping massively busy - I guess trying to avoid how I've been feeling instead of looking after myself.

    My husband has headed out for a walk with the dog so I have the house to myself. So I'm going to do some course work, I have to complete the Level 3 Care Certificate (mandatory for my level in the NHS) before I start the apprenticeship. I'm tired because of last nights tummy shenanigans and my anxiety flare up. But I'll do a guided meditation afterwards I think.

    The weird thing is everyone keeps saying how well I look.

    I think you're right about waiting to know about what's going on Carnation. I'll deal with it if they find something but it's the 'it's not that so we're going to test for this' that I hate. I remember mum going through lots of tests because her iron was low so they suspected a bleed, in the end she said 'I've had enough tests because of this, I've been like this for years and I'm still alive, I'm not having anymore tests'. They ended up giving her (I think it was) B12 infusions and her iron levels went up, apparently her body just couldn't store iron.

    I like the analogy of the anxiety demon sitting on my shoulder Darksky. It is so true, it knows all the right things to say to tap into all my insecurities and leave me a ball of self doubting jelly. It's so very believable though.

    It's all so very difficult sometimes.

  3. #583
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    16,747

    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Oh the old self-sabotaging genie likes to do its work when we have a new challenge on the horizon, doesn't it? "Am I good enough to do this?" "What if I have to bale out because of a,b or c?" "I don't want to let people down" etc etc etc.

    Do you think you will enjoy your holiday once you actually get there?

  4. #584
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    10,624

    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    I think the holiday may be the tonic you need.
    Any pre anxiety will disperse once you are there and you can please yourself while you are away. It's always the build up and going that's the worst.
    London is far more chaotic than Portugal and you did that.
    As for journeys, when Mr C and I went out yesterday we both said the journey back was much quicker than the journey there. Because the anxiousness to get to the destination has been removed.
    I find meditation so good for grounding and finding peace. I truly believe it helped with the healing of my tooth infection and pain.
    Always make time for your needs catkins, you are as important as anyone else.
    As forgetting the anniversary, it happens sometimes and with everything going on it is understandable. x

  5. #585
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Oh the old self-sabotaging genie likes to do its work when we have a new challenge on the horizon, doesn't it? "Am I good enough to do this?" "What if I have to bale out because of a,b or c?" "I don't want to let people down" etc etc etc.

    Do you think you will enjoy your holiday once you actually get there?
    Yep the self-sabotaging genie is out in full force at the moment. I definitely have an I'm not and never will be good enough side of me.

    I'm mixed about the holiday, it's the first time abroad since the November before the start of the pandemic, so that is anxiety inducing to start with. We're going for 10 days and our son is coming for part of it. Our son is usually a good balancer between me and my husband and is happy to do some of the more active things that I don't fancy. If things go as they normally do I'll enjoy it. The only trip I've ever been on that wasn't good was London last year and hopefully I exorcised that ghost a bit by going and enjoying it this year.

  6. #586
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    I think the holiday may be the tonic you need.
    Any pre anxiety will disperse once you are there and you can please yourself while you are away. It's always the build up and going that's the worst.
    London is far more chaotic than Portugal and you did that.
    As for journeys, when Mr C and I went out yesterday we both said the journey back was much quicker than the journey there. Because the anxiousness to get to the destination has been removed.
    I find meditation so good for grounding and finding peace. I truly believe it helped with the healing of my tooth infection and pain.
    Always make time for your needs catkins, you are as important as anyone else.
    As forgetting the anniversary, it happens sometimes and with everything going on it is understandable. x
    That's so weird isn't it. It is always much quicker on the way home!

    You are so right about the meditation. For some reason when our son was home I felt I couldn't do it because I do it in the room he was sleeping in. I think I've put barriers in front of myself to not do it, when I could easily have done it elsewhere. My yoga class has also finished as the instructor has moved away. I will have to make myself do it at home, but I liked the structure of a class to go to. It's strange how my mind puts obstacles to doing things I know help in the way.

  7. #587
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    At least you know what things help you..and are in the position that some strategies actually do help you..This is not always the case.

    It sounds as though holidays aren't a problem for you and you can make the most of being away from everyday chores etc. Mentally I think you need to focus on this and try to challenge any mental "obstacles" which you may put in place?

  8. #588
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    At least you know what things help you..and are in the position that some strategies actually do help you..This is not always the case.

    It sounds as though holidays aren't a problem for you and you can make the most of being away from everyday chores etc. Mentally I think you need to focus on this and try to challenge any mental "obstacles" which you may put in place?
    I'm very good at putting things off because 'I need to feel a bit better first' or 'I haven't got time' or 'this is more important'. I guess it's part of the anxiety demon for me.

  9. #589
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    I can't bear having things hanging over me so have to do them "now"..That's stressful too so bring on the "happy medium"!

  10. #590
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    Re: My anxiety is being triggered

    OK so it's been a mixed week. I've been doing guided meditations every day (sometimes twice a day) and I think it's definitely helped. I wouldn't say I'm totally calm, a lot of the time I'm aware of it under the surface bubbling away, but it didn't burst out. Haven't quite got round to yoga yet, but going to try and do some this weekend. It's been a little hot in the attic room I use.

    I have pretty much carried on as usual, got together with friends, been to work etc. I must say it does make me feel more 'normal' if I can do stuff. I'm meeting my sister and nephew for an ice cream shortly and I'm not going to go into too much detail about how I'm feeling. Her and my husband still aren't speaking after last year. I have been doing a lot reassurance seeking about the course; I told colleagues I was worried I wouldn't be clever enough do it etc. One colleague said that the pass mark is only 40% so she just did enough to pass so that she wouldn't get to stressed about it. In fact everyone was really encouraging. So anyway I've decided to take it a term at a time, then it isn't such a big thing. If it's awful, I can stop doing it, it's not the end of the world, but I think I have to try it..

    So this morning things have been a little difficult, had a bit of a panic attack. My husband hurt his hand about 5 weeks ago and is in quite a lot of pain. After trying to speak to the GP for 2 weeks he managed to yesterday, he's being referred to the hospital for it. He leans towards the health anxiety side of things and Dr Google has been assisting him. He has some steroids left over from last year when he took them for his back (not prescribed he got them on the Internet - prednisone/prednisolone which has previously had to take for his sarcoidosis). So he has now decided to treat himself with a low dose for a week to settle the inflammation in his hand. Unfortunately this sent me into a tailspin worried that things will be like last year - which I didn't cope with at all.imtold him my concerns I.e he would feel awful after them, would he start the spiral of paying for test after test. He kind of turned it round on me and said that there's no way he can't work, he can't rely on me to keep money coming in because of my anxiety etc. I know I'm a little oversensitive at the moment so I may not be seeing the big picture. But my anxiety is feeling raised again. I'll keep doing what I'm doing but I'm a little worried about things.

    Thoughts anyone?

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