I don't know if this is where I should put this thread. But as I'm suffering with GAD I thought I'd put it in here as I think it's one of the contributing factors. I thought it might help me to have a place to write down how I'm feeling and maybe get feedback?

On February 6th this year my mum died suddenly. She'd had a very complicated medical history, T2 diabetes, COPD, underactive thyroid, fibromyalgia, IBS, anxiety, agoraphobia, kidney disease to name a few. She died on a Saturday morning, her and my stepdad had been up and had breakfast but went back to bed for a couple of hours - in separate rooms as if he drinks he snores more, so that was their custom on a weekend. He woke up at around 9 and went through to the living room and she was sat on the sofa dead.

He called an ambulance and attempted CPR. But unfortunately there was nothing he or the paramedics could do. He phoned me at just before 10 to tell me and I rushed round to their house (10 mins away).

It was such an awful shock, I knew she would die eventually but when I got up that morning it was the furthest thing from my mind. My stepdad was in such an awful state it fell to me to phone my sister and my brother to tell them. It was awful. My sister screamed and fell to pieces, my brother was calmer but still in a terrible state.

It was an awful, awful day. I made multiple phone calls to people to let them know over the next few days it was horrible. One relative my stepdad asked me to call (mum's aunt) was as vague as fudge and barely understood what/who I was talking about.

Why am I going through this again? I don't know. I was walking the dog this morning and I couldn't stop thinking about her, my mum that is, I feel I need to get some of what's in my head out as I think I've very much battled on and tried to be supportive to my stepdad etc. But I think it's all contributed to my current state.

When anxiety hits it's just awful and I feel I'm having to do everything and anything I can to help myself. Maybe this well help?