Thank you.
Thank you.
Catkins, I so know how you feel, I was exactly the same when I lost my mum 4 years ago.
Her passing also made me feel somewhat guilty for all those times we had disagreements or I was a touch sharp with my mum. But that was our relationship and beneath that was a strong bond and I think that's why I struggled so much when she passed. I felt so many emotions, anger, guilt, incredible sadness and disappointment (mostly with myself). I even felt a feeling of being orphaned. I lost my only best friend who would tell me the truth or give me their honest opinion. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye or be there at the end but I know now that was meant to be. We said goodbye each time we saw each other and a final goodbye is not really necessary because our mums have a special place in our hearts that stay with us forever! No matter what the relationship was a mum is special because they give birth to us and the times I've heard a mum say "I would die for you".
And actually the best thing you can do to honour your mum is to live your life in her honour and in time you will do this. You will never forget her, you will think of her often, you will feel sad from time to time, you will remember little things about her every so often, you might even feel disappointed with yourself from days of the past, but it's all totally natural and a process of grieving. Xx
Thank you Carnation.
Oh and carnations were her favourite flowers.
Mine too Catkins
I just posted this on Facebook and had a little weep. Maybe shouldn't have put it on there, I tend to put funny comments and silly things on.
As my mum got older she found it harder and harder to cope with the heat. She would fret and sit in the shade, have the fan on, sigh and fluster.
As I walked up to the garage before, I got hotter and hotter, I started to fluster, I was erring to the side of the path that was in the shade. I was complaining at every sunny spot that Molly was trying to sniff at.
I'm sorry mum - I didn't realise what aging does to us women. Internal sunshine combined with external sunshine plus the extra insulation we carry. Hot is hotter than it used to be. I wish I'd been more sympathetic! It comes to us all doesn't it?
Miss you mum.
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Don't berate yourself, Catkins...The heat makes us all fractious and irritable regardless of age. Don't apologise for being "unsympathetic"..Grief will hit you unexpectedly and throw up all sort of memories and "regrets".
Oh catkins, you are talking about me too.
I was only saying to Mr C that when I was younger I'd plonk myself on a sun lounger cooking myself in the sun. Be out all day with only a drink at lunchtime. How times change.
I'm now, "ooh, that's too hot, wear a hat constantly with my sunglasses dangling at the ready. Find the loosest clothes to wear even though I might look like a sack of sh it. Hunt for the shady bits, have the car on full wack with the air con and avoid shops without air-con or doors open.
Anything to avoid sweating or burning.
I think it's very endearing you put something on Facebook. After all it's your life and emotions. It can't be cute animal videos and, picturesque scenes and smiley quotations all the time. You followed your heart and that's the right thing to do. x
Thank you all. It just rather took me by surprise. It also took me by surprise that I put it on FB - but I guess it's good to be honest about how we feel. I think I sometimes need my stuff upper lip removed! Not so much in here though thankfully.
Carnation I have just ironed in my underwear. Husband was slightly surprised when he got back from the tip.
Lol catkins bet he had a smile on his face.
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