My grief over my mother's death

[Catkins]

Well I've changed my FB from a picture of my mum to an art nouveau picture of a carnation. It's still about her but not so in your face. I think it's appropriate.

[pulisa]

I hope that today has been as manageable as possible for you and that you have found some moments to reflect and remember what your Mum meant to you..

[Catkins]

I hope that today has been as manageable as possible for you and that you have found some moments to reflect and remember what your Mum meant to you..

Thank you P.

I took flowers up first thing. My husband offered to come with me but I declined, I wanted to have some time on my own up there (although I took my dog). I got rid of a few rabbit nibbled flowers and then sat for a while, it was lovely.

[pulisa]

Glad that you found some peace with her..I would want to be on my own too. I hope Cumbria escaped the dense fog we had here in the morning and that you were bathed in autumnal sunshine..

[Carnation]

Hi catkins, just to say I was thinking of you today and I think changing the photo to an Art Nouveau Carnation is a beautiful idea. I find my late mum's birthday surreal in a way. I have been doing something flower related the last few years, either buying some flowers or planting something. It's like honouring in a way but also find peace myself. I hope you found solace today catkins. x

[Catkins]

It was dry and mild this morning and soaking wet this afternoon. I did feel at peace when I was there and then I carried on my over packed day, but kind of carried that peace with me.

I feel like I did right by her and by myself somehow.

Tomorrow I will have as quiet as possible day. No endless activities, just a little ironing, a dog walk and a rest.

[Buster70]

So sorry this was another sad day for you , it’s been just over a year since my mum passed away and would be her birthday on the 20th of this month , I always used to forget what date it was but now she’s gone I remember , I still struggle to accept she has gone for good , it’s like my mind finds it easier to think she’s still here but every now and then it hits me and I tear up , I’ve put her name in the book of remembrance but I’m not sure I’ll be home to go visit and see it , I guess it doesn’t matter where you are as long as you take some time to remember the person that brought you into the world .
Take care .

[Catkins]

Definitely Buster, she is often on my mind. She always will be.

[pulisa]

My parents were both born in 1921 so this year marked what would have been their 100th birthdays. I found both days really hard (only 2 weeks apart too) and although it's now been over 31 years since my Mum died I still really miss her and know she would have loved my daughter so much and helped her with her struggles.

I hope you have a quiet and peaceful day today, Catkins...I'm glad that you marked the day yesterday in a way that gave you satisfaction (if that is the right word?)

[Carnation]

There's a special bond with a mother. Even if you've had your differences and tiffs along the way.
I think we are supposed to miss them but we learn to cope and we take their wisdom and strength to live our lives.
It must be an emotional time Pulisa with both your parents birthdays close together. x Christmas seems to hit me more so because I'd always spend Christmas with my parents like so many others do. I don't want to appear morbid about it all and I'm adapting to a different Christmas now and I have memories and stories of old as thoughts as opposed to sadness of absence and think that's the way to deal with the missing aspect.