Re: Hey everyone!!
Originally Posted by
AbyssalStars
Four years later, my brother committed suicide and I found the body. I have a lot of guilt associated with this as I noticed something was wrong a few months prior, but didn't do enough to help.
Hi Abs, wow, that's quite the history you have there. It must have been very hard for you to go through those things. When trauma isn't worked through, it sits in the body and we start developing conditions like, IBS, acid reflux, fibromyalgia etc. The emotional pain turns into physical pain if you get me?
You're not responsible for your brother's suicide, and I know you believe that the consciousness survives death given your comment on another thread - so I have no problems in saying that he'd be sad to know that you think this way. Do you dream about him at all?
I did tarot cards for my mum and I knew that my dad was going to die. At the time, he was seemingly well but he died of cancer 12 months later. What this meant was that I was prepared and made the time for him because I knew his time was short. I also had a visitation dream about my deceased maternal grandmother (visitation) at the time my mother was dying. It was still a trauma because there was no time to process the dream before I was being told that Mum had died. In hindsight, I was being prepared, and most importantly, I knew my mum wasn't really alone when she died. I also had a dream that my uncle was going to die, and he did; six weeks after my dad. These are simply ways of preparing us for what's coming but we have no influence over when somebody dies. When it's their time, it's their time.
You've experienced a lot of death and trauma and at a young age; it's bound to have had an effect on you. The way I see it? You're still here, and the best way to honour the memories of those who are not is to live your 'best' life - regardless of what life has thrown at you and what it will continue to do so.
All the best with the therapy and good on you for being proactive. X
__________________
A thought is harmless unless we believe it.