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Thread: Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
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    238

    Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

    Hey everyone..

    So for about a year now, Iíve been free of my number one biggest fear- rabies.

    I know I know- I have had this fear in the past, Iím stupid, how could I dare think about invisible bat bit me and on and on...

    During COVID it didnít hit as much, probably because I wasnít running around in the bushes like my normal job has me doing :/.

    Anyway, almost a year later to the date, I was shooting a wedding out at a winery in central california ( and before you people say california doesnít have bats... trust me it does- we have many).

    There was a massive oak tree surrounded by flowers ( pansyís that had been planted- I carefully stepped through them to wedge myself up against the tree, crouched down, my legs were exposed and was focusing on photographing. Later I noticed that at the bottom of the tree was stapled a wire mesh/ kinda like chicken wire but smaller squares...I was standing right up against it.. I didnít think anything of it at the time, but later noticed that bats were sweeping down from the buildings to that tree all night... and there it began.. on my way home i noticed that my ankle felt super bruised like in that little divot section right above your heel- I looked to see if there were any marks..but beyond just some red marks ( not like holes but more like little bruises or old faded patches there was nothing... my ankle in that spot has been itching all week.

    As you can imagine, Iím now worried I was bit by a ďninja batĒ - my brain thinks there could have been one behind that little grate.. did I not notice cause I was distracted etc etc.... uh this would have been so much easier had I not seen bats later in the night. This is all because of that one damn article of not feeling a bat bite.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    23,404

    Re: Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

    Quote Originally Posted by golddustgirl1000 View Post
    Hey everyone..

    So for about a year now, I’ve been free of my number one biggest fear- rabies.

    I know I know- I have had this fear in the past, I’m stupid, how could I dare think about invisible bat bit me and on and on...

    During COVID it didn’t hit as much, probably because I wasn’t running around in the bushes like my normal job has me doing :/.

    Anyway, almost a year later to the date, I was shooting a wedding out at a winery in central california ( and before you people say california doesn’t have bats... trust me it does- we have many).

    There was a massive oak tree surrounded by flowers ( pansy’s that had been planted- I carefully stepped through them to wedge myself up against the tree, crouched down, my legs were exposed and was focusing on photographing. Later I noticed that at the bottom of the tree was stapled a wire mesh/ kinda like chicken wire but smaller squares...I was standing right up against it.. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but later noticed that bats were sweeping down from the buildings to that tree all night... and there it began.. on my way home i noticed that my ankle felt super bruised like in that little divot section right above your heel- I looked to see if there were any marks..but beyond just some red marks ( not like holes but more like little bruises or old faded patches there was nothing... my ankle in that spot has been itching all week.

    As you can imagine, I’m now worried I was bit by a “ninja bat” - my brain thinks there could have been one behind that little grate.. did I not notice cause I was distracted etc etc.... uh this would have been so much easier had I not seen bats later in the night. This is all because of that one damn article of not feeling a bat bite.
    What do you want to hear GDGirl? Seriously.... By now, after all these years, you have to be able to have some ability and rational to alleviate this irrationality on your own

    FMP
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
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    238

    Re: Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

    Fish man- I wish I could say I do- but I donít :/ Iím not naturally a very logical person- Iím emotion driven- Iím an enneagram 6. Look it up and maybe youíll understand me better.

    Iíve gone to a therapist, read books on cbt, Iím super healthy, have lost 45 lbs during COVID, am all natural and very into nutrition, take a lot of adaptogens, work out 2 hours a day, do yoga, and am now an aerialist/ acrobat .... I know how to stress reduce.... yet for some reason the negative feedback loop here is lingering.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    23,404

    Re: Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

    I looked it up and it's certainly an interesting mental environment and quite rare, but in this case, as opposed to what I read, you're creating an irrational and unrealistic stressful situation to focus on as opposed to the real life situations which type 6 normally focus on and expanding on it, so it appears there's more to it than just that. You have a lot of positives in your live. The question is, why are you making things up to worry about?

    FMP
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    238

    Re: Rearing itís ugly annual head again...

    Rare? lol I know four or five type 6ís.. itís actually a popular personality test amongst us millennials .

    But you are right- I donít know... my brain just goes to these places- perhaps it doesnít help my mom has ocd/ anxiety and is a conspiracy theorist... sometimes I notice after getting. Off the phone before that I worry about things I never would have...

    You ready for this one? Photographed a backyard wedding tonight and got nipped by their damn dog when I was shooting family photos ... you can bet I asked and the brides mom who happened to be the owner confirmed he was vaxxed... lol I swear I donít make this stuff up... I canít get away!

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