Conspiracy theorist husband and anxiety

[pulisa]

It must be awful for Becky..I'd hate to be preached at day in, day out and terrified of going against his beliefs.

[Fishmanpa]

It must be awful for Becky..I'd hate to be preached at day in, day out and terrified of going against his beliefs.

I can't imagine I've encountered conspiracy theorists in real life and in my workplace but I don't have to live with them. The article AVee posted is a good one and has some coping strategies but it doesn't alleviate the problem.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi there - I have not read the other replies here, but in my opinion I think a lot of conspiracy theories regarding covid and the vaccine actually stem from fear.

I myself had really extreme health anxiety about getting the vaccine - I was terrified. As it happens I got the vaccine done and I'm very happy I did. However, I will be totally honest with you - during the period where my anxiety was high , I probably would have been psychologically vulnerable to "fake news" myself.

It's more common than you might think - there's a lot of very convincing scary stuff out there about the vaccine and about the virus.

Generally speaking, a conspiracy based mindset most likely stems from paranoia. So the absolute worst thing anyone can do to people like this is lecture them and tell them how silly they're being - because that will only drive them further down the rabbit hole.

Difficult though it may be, I believe they need love and support and to be gently guided with facts. This is going to be extremely difficult for a lot of people to do, I would imagine, since many will be emotionally impacted by covid or by suffering or loss and will react with offense to conspiracy based thinking.

You can start with very, very basic facts, which is number 1: there is a virus. It does exist. Just thinking logically for it not to exist would mean that all of the people who have been ill or died all over the world- that would need to be made up- so how likely is that really? It's basically not possible. Think about how difficult it would be to pull off that kind of conspiracy where millions of people all over the world are effected, all of the hospitals, doctors, nurses, across so many countries all making it up? It really just isn't possible.

So if you can arrive at a point where someone accepts the conspiracy of there NOT being a virus is false, then you can tackle the stuff about the vaccine. The ingredients of the vaccine are actually listed for the general public to all see, and again, many millions of people are getting it , myself included.

It's not an easy journey I'm afraid to talk someone out of the conspiracy based mindset because it can become very deeply entrenched, but that's where I would start- just with the very basic facts, and stay away from making it any more political than that - because it's not political at the end of the day, this isn't about left vs right or liberal vs conservative - it's a virus, and the only thing that matters is people protecting themselves, their families and their communities as best as they possibly can.

Excellent post from dan here.

Just look how the threads on here just don't work in addressing CT thinking

[NoraB]

A dad videoing his Autie kid having a meltdown whilst sitting on the toilet?

My good god. Totally unbelievable and indeed humiliating for that poor kid, especially if he/she sees that poxy video some years later when he/she grows up and feels totally embarrassed.

My memory isn't what it used to be but I recall he had so much shit from autistics (and some NT parents) that I 'think' he took the video down. He trying to 'raise autism awareness' but you don't go about this by recording your child in a very vulnerable and highly distressing moment with the intention of uploading it for the world to see do you?

[/QUOTE]Also toilets, both the fixtures themselves and the rooms/ environments they're in can be quite scary and intimidating to many kids, ASD or not. Even peripheral devices installed in the same room such as loud hand dryers and even light fittings (or much rather the lack of working ones) can be an even bigger nightmare for them than actually having a wee or a poo. Certainly was for me on occasions as a little kid.[/QUOTE]

My son had meltdowns in the public loos because of the hand dryers being so loud. That was in the women's loos. He wouldn't go in the gents because of the smell. So I got a radar key to use disabled loos with him and, boy, the shitty looks and comments I got from people who just saw a 'normal' looking boy and his mother using the disabled loo! At one time I carried his diagnosis around with me to shove in the faces of people who told me 'I was a disgrace'.. The clue is in the name 'disabled' and autism is a recognised disability but try telling that to judgemental @rseholes who are looking for wheelchairs. I'm glad they are starting to change the signs on disabled toilets to 'not all disabilities are visible'.

That barsteward of a dad should hang his head in shame!

I think he probably felt it was a good idea at the time Lenco. It's good that people are trying to bring autism to the forefront, but the difference seems to be that autistics generally advocate autism 'acceptance' and non-autistics (parents etc) are about awareness, and a very large part of that is about the effect their 'child's autism' has on them, rather than the issues their autistic children face every second of their lives.

I videoed one of my son's meltdowns, or parts of it as I had to keep shifting stuff out of the way for safety. He was three and had been losing his shit every time he went to playgroup and he'd just started nursery. I needed my husband to see what was happening when he was at work because I knew there was a problem that went way beyond 'toddler tantrums'. I'd never seen anything like it, but I wouldn't have dreamt of putting it online. I consider what the father did as abusive because he knew the child was autistic and he knew that the child was distressed and the video was to show random people how difficult his life as an 'autism parent' is. The child didn't get a say in the matter. That's my issue.

[NoraB]

The wife and I once had Siri chime in at a rather, shall we say, 'intimate' moment.... Imagine all of a sudden hearing (with the Australian accent setting) "Sorry, I missed that. Could you say it again please?"

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

The problem is that the very basic facts will not be seen as facts..because a fact is only a fact to the person who believes it regardless of insurmountable evidence.

Do conspiracy theorists enjoy being called conspiracy theorists, I wonder? What if an ardent Covid denier loses a loved one to Covid? How do they explain that to themselves? Is there always an explanation to suit the mindset of those in denial?

[NoraB]

Well... the US had a president that pushed an unproven medication and suggested ingesting bleach and bathing your insides with UV light could be a cure for COVID

FMP

I still can't believe that bloke was President of the United States...

[Lencoboy]

My memory isn't what it used to be but I recall he had so much shit from autistics (and some NT parents) that I 'think' he took the video down. He trying to 'raise autism awareness' but you don't go about this by recording your child in a very vulnerable and highly distressing moment with the intention of uploading it for the world to see do you?

Also toilets, both the fixtures themselves and the rooms/ environments they're in can be quite scary and intimidating to many kids, ASD or not. Even peripheral devices installed in the same room such as loud hand dryers and even light fittings (or much rather the lack of working ones) can be an even bigger nightmare for them than actually having a wee or a poo. Certainly was for me on occasions as a little kid.[/QUOTE]

My son had meltdowns in the public loos because of the hand dryers being so loud. That was in the women's loos. He wouldn't go in the gents because of the smell. So I got a radar key to use disabled loos with him and, boy, the shitty looks and comments I got from people who just saw a 'normal' looking boy and his mother using the disabled loo! At one time I carried his diagnosis around with me to shove in the faces of people who told me 'I was a disgrace'.. The clue is in the name 'disabled' and autism is a recognised disability but try telling that to judgemental @rseholes who are looking for wheelchairs. I'm glad they are starting to change the signs on disabled toilets to 'not all disabilities are visible'.



I think he probably felt it was a good idea at the time Lenco. It's good that people are trying to bring autism to the forefront, but the difference seems to be that autistics generally advocate autism 'acceptance' and non-autistics (parents etc) are about awareness, and a very large part of that is about the effect their 'child's autism' has on them, rather than the issues their autistic children face every second of their lives.

I videoed one of my son's meltdowns, or parts of it as I had to keep shifting stuff out of the way for safety. He was three and had been losing his shit every time he went to playgroup and he'd just started nursery. I needed my husband to see what was happening when he was at work because I knew there was a problem that went way beyond 'toddler tantrums'. I'd never seen anything like it, but I wouldn't have dreamt of putting it online. I consider what the father did as abusive because he knew the child was autistic and he knew that the child was distressed and the video was to show random people how difficult his life as an 'autism parent' is. The child didn't get a say in the matter. That's my issue.[/QUOTE]

Just to reiterate, if that video was made for 'private' reasons (e.g, evidence for clinical psychologists) it might have been more justifiable, but for said video to end up online for viewing by all and sundry and inevitably having negative consequences, is beyond irresponsible and unethical IMO.

Sadly, it still very much seems that toilets and likewise facilities come well down on the list of priorities for most people, and their general design and layout still very much remains overlooked, especially in terms of being 'disability-friendly' and 'designing out crime'.

Hardly rocket science, is it?

[Fishmanpa]

Again... back to the OP and subject at hand

When you are in a relationship, marriage, friendship etc., much of compatibility is based on common likes, dislikes, beliefs, whether it be religion, politics or other aspects of life. As was said, it has to be troubling when those commonalities change. Relationships, marriages and friendships often end when these things happen.

I wish there were an easy answer for you Becky. In my 6 decades of life, I don't ever recall the divisiveness and skewed perceptions of reality as I'm seeing now. The ex president is now saying he'll be re-instated in August and his ex National Security Advisor just said we should have a coup! Add to that the "Q" nonsense and the virus conspiracy theories your husband is subscribing to and it makes for a very volatile situation.

Here's to hope...

Positive thoughts

[Lencoboy]

Again... back to the OP and subject at hand

When you are in a relationship, marriage, friendship etc., much of compatibility is based on common likes, dislikes, beliefs, whether it be religion, politics or other aspects of life. As was said, it has to be troubling when those commonalities change. Relationships, marriages and friendships often end when these things happen.

I wish there were an easy answer for you Becky. In my 6 decades of life, I don't ever recall the divisiveness and skewed perceptions of reality as I'm seeing now. The ex president is now saying he'll be re-instated in August and his ex National Security Advisor just said we should have a coup! Add to that the "Q" nonsense and the virus conspiracy theories your husband is subscribing to and it makes for a very volatile situation.

Here's to hope...

Positive thoughts

How can Dollard simply go waltzing back into the White House just like that in August?

He was legitimately voted out of office by the American people last November, and it's about time that delusional barsteward of an ex-POTUS got real and stopped playing silly buggers.

He should be arrested and imprisoned/sectioned IMO.

Biden and Co really need to take this seriously and not back down.