just a quick update incase anyone was worring i had completely dropped into a pit of no return lol. tis my third day back on medication. feeling a bit better. the anxiety is still there but tis been clouded with the side affects.forced myself to get on the bus this morning to pay my rent.sprayed myself with rescue remedy and thought u can do this mrs. if u dont do it today uwill not be able to do it at all. felt horrible but i did it, came straight home and crawled into bed then slept for three hours until my freind let herself into my house to check up on me. walked to the school to pick up my kids and am now feeling a bit better. reality is slowly coming back and just the relief of knowing that the medication will start kicking in soon is enough to shake the constant fear away.
my freinds are brilliant but while they are all there for me and used to me it is hard to try and make them understand just how terrifying this illness is! my mum has offered to come down for a week from wales to keep an eye on me but she finds it all very hard. my nan had severe ocd, acute anxiety and depression and was sectioned 4 times as she refused to take medication and it ruked her life till the day she died. my mums childhood was completely ruined by my nanas illness so she finds it all hard to cope with. her policy is the same as most peoples who dont get it....................just get a grip, take control of yourself, rule it, dont let it rule you. but while i agree and try my hardest, sometimes it is just not possible. am awaiting to see a pysciatrist as this is the third time ive been back on medication and hopefully it will teach me to deal with the things that make me the way i am. thanku all for listening its been a tower of strenght knowing im not alone and that im not being judged x
beth salisbury
Reply With Quote
