ALS fear is draining my energy

[Kramze]

So it all started some weeks ago... I got this weird feeling/pain in my right forearm, and the best way I can describe it is tennis elbow... I've had a weird feeling in my hand when I clench it; it feels like it's weak, but it's not. However, I also noticed that when I'm writing with a pen, it feels clumsier than my left hand. It'd also prevalent when I'm typing on my PC... It feels like I can't grab easily as I used to with my dominant right hand, and it scares me... I've also had a weird feeling like a sock was enveloping my elbow and right leg. Yes... It's also on the right side,which makes me even more anxious... I've also measure my right forearm, and the circumference of my right dominant arm is smaller than the left arm... I'm also experiencing cramps in my forearm and hand constantly, and they only seem to go away at arbitrary times when I haven't been using the arm...

I'm so worried that I'll suddenly become weaker in the arm, it's totally ruining my life right now... I've also read some posts with people being diagnosed after having similar symptoms, and I don't know what to do... I visited a doctor, and he told me to come back if it gets worse... But tbh, I just want an EMG and know the truth, because the life I'm living right now is filled with constant worry... Sorry about spelling, but I'm too tired and sad to edit...

[jojo2316]

I know only too well how awful this fear is. Have you had it before? All I can advise is STAY AWAY from ALS forums. For all sorts of reasons, both because it will make your fear worse and out of respect for the sufferers. You are posting on here, and anxiety forum, which says a lot to me.....

[jojo2316]

Ok! I’ve checked you out. You’ve had ALS fears as far back as 2018?? You are almost as bad as me!!

[Kramze]

It's really taking a toll on me right now... My wrist and hand feels stiff and some movements are restricted on my right arm accompanied with pain in my elbow... It really drives me nuts... :(

[jojo2316]

So if it’s any consolation, I have the same thing in my left hand. It feels stiff and crampy and odd, even though my strength seems normal. I think - and hope!! - that being worried about ALS makes you hyper aware and notice - or even generate - symptoms that would otherwise never reach your consciousness

[Kramze]

Thanks Jojo; it does help... It's so comforting to think that there are other broken people out there like myself... 🌻 I also feel better when I'm not focusing on it, but it's really difficult not to...

[jojo2316]

Thanks Jojo; it does help... It's so comforting to think that there are other broken people out there like myself...  I also feel better when I'm not focusing on it, but it's really difficult not to...

Tell me about it. I am so broken at the moment - and locked into a frenzy of self testing. But we both- you and I - have a history of similar worries.... so from an objective perspective it makes sense that our brains/perceptions are playing a major role here?

[jojo2316]

I noticed that during your worries in 2018 you suffered from fasciculations ..... can you remember if they came on before or after you started worrying about ALS?
I too am suffering from them.... and have done before. And I am beginning to wonder whether they are actually CAUSED by a worry about ALS (I’m doing some idle research into Functional Neurological Disorders. It’s a bit more healthy, I think, than researching ALS!!!)

[Kramze]

Tell me about it. I am so broken at the moment - and locked into a frenzy of self testing. But we both- you and I - have a history of similar worries.... so from an objective perspective it makes sense that our brains/perceptions are playing a major role here?

Yeah it's most certainly due to our brains playing tricks on us, albeit it's difficult to accept while real physical symptoms are present.

I noticed that during your worries in 2018 you suffered from fasciculations ..... can you remember if they came on before or after you started worrying about ALS?
I too am suffering from them.... and have done before. And I am beginning to wonder whether they are actually CAUSED by a worry about ALS (I’m doing some idle research into Functional Neurological Disorders. It’s a bit more healthy, I think, than researching ALS!!!)

I remember being hyper aware of fasciculations after learning that they can be a symptom of neurological disorders. So that's definitely after learning about ALS that I noticed my muscles were twitching. I still feel twitches now, but I'm not as worried about them anymore, especially after learning they they're mostly present after a muscle has atrophied. And even if that's the case, fasciculations happen all the time, and the chances of them being non-benign are extremely low.

I'm more worried about cramps and tight muscles because my brain conjures up thoughts like: "these cramps are a symptom of my muscles overworking, due to them compensating for some smaller muscles that have died. That also explains why I feel slightly clumsy in one hand, since it has only affected some tiny muscles so far".

... Either way, it's all the same; an irrational fear of dying, and it's sooo time consuming :(

[jojo2316]

Yeah...... if I put my rational head on, the feelings of clumsiness are no different to the fasics really. Very easily conjured by an anxious brain.