Quote Originally Posted by NoraB View Post
I know I've had health anxiety since I was a small child and I 'think' it's because my granddad was in his 70s, and unwell. He basically wheezed his way through the first 13 years of my life until his heart gave up. I remember seeing diseases on TV or in books and thinking I had them all. I felt sick all the time, and I saw things about my body that were not actually there..

In my case, autism also plays a role because I wasn't able to verbalise my fears or the symptoms I was having. I was physically sick a lot but I don't recall it ever being questioned? So nobody could reassure me because they didn't know that I was suffering..

I was in my late 40s when the penny finally dropped that I can control this, but I think that a pre-disposition to anxiety, OCD, and an ailing Grandpa is the reason I developed HA in the first place..

I had a mental breakdown when I was 46 due to health anxiety. The disorder took me to the very brink of sanity - but they do say that it's often during the very worst time of your life that we can turn things around, and that's what happened with me. The day before my colonoscopy, I decided that enough was enough and I would accept whatever was coming my way. That day I was the calmest I'd ever been in my life. The test was clear, but I had been 100% convinced of bowel cancer - just as I had been 100% convinced of MS, heart disease, a brain tumour, ovarian cancer and all the other imaginary diagnoses I'd given myself..

To control HA means to accept potential illness and certain death- with the understanding that we can't control what happens to us, only how we respond to it.

I know I have to die of something; we all do. But I try to keep myself healthy, and keeping stress levels low is top of my list because stress is the biggest problem when it comes to disease. I also know how remarkable my body is. I cut my finger and I don't have to do anything (except wash it, obvs) for it to heal itself and the body heals itself from the inside too.

I've had two major health blips this year, and of course the pandemic - and the wheels have yet to come off, so I must be doing something right?

But it's always work in progress...

a wonderful reply @NoraB This is where I’ve hit right now, make or break time! I’m 41 and on the brink of insanity and I now have anxiety about my anxiety, and what I’ve done to my body…honestly it’s just exhausting.
H be it your reply says it is possible, it is possible to recover from the brink… and be stronger.

so I Thankyou (even tho this post wasn’t meant for me, I’m taking it and running haha)