Hating myself because I am unemployed

[Sugarrush]

Okay so I was made redundant three months ago and since then have been applying for jobs daily. Other than this I have given up and stay in bed constantly struggling with suicidal ideation. I hate myself and always have but this seems to have intensified everything all I want to do is work but I am nervous when I do find a job I will be useless because I am a panic attack crying sobbing mess. Anyone else struggled with something like this? What helps? I am at a loss just feel so worthless

[BlueIris]

I've been there several times before. You're not useless, you're just going through a bad patch.

Are you getting any help for your mental health at the moment? A little bit of professional advice can work wonders at times like these. Even if it's not for you, though, feel free to PM me - my heart aches for how you must be feeling right now.

[Sugarrush]

Thank you so much for your kindness it really does mean so much. I am seeing a counsellor once a week and the mental health team are calling me every other day over the next week because of how low I am feeling. I might take you up on that offer of messaging you. Thanks again. I really am trying but at the same time giving up if that makes sense

[NoraB]

Okay so I was made redundant three months ago and since then have been applying for jobs daily. Other than this I have given up and stay in bed constantly struggling with suicidal ideation. I hate myself and always have but this seems to have intensified everything all I want to do is work but I am nervous when I do find a job I will be useless because I am a panic attack crying sobbing mess. Anyone else struggled with something like this? What helps? I am at a loss just feel so worthless

A bit more to your story!

Put this into perspective SR. You were made redundant 3 months ago. That's a relatively short period of time compared to some..

Being redundant doesn't make you worthless, it makes you jobless, and it's not forever.

I knew there was a depression issue from reading your 'bed thread', and now it's obvious and you need help with that - especially if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts.

I stand by what I said in the other thread. This isn't anything that can't be turned around with professional help and effort from you. And there's a lot to be said for one door closing and another one opening up to better things.

I was one of Maggie Thatcher's unemployed in the 80s and then my job was made redundant in the early 90s. However, had I have stayed in that job, I'd never have gone for the job I did, and had ten very happy years as opposed to clocking on and off in a factory simply to put food on the table and pay the mortgage. As one door closes, right?

Are you getting any support for your mental health issues?

This phase will pass. Nothing in life is forever. Better days will come, but you do have to help yourself lovely - even if it's to make a phone call to see somebody who can help you?

[pulisa]

Okay so I was made redundant three months ago and since then have been applying for jobs daily. Other than this I have given up and stay in bed constantly struggling with suicidal ideation. I hate myself and always have but this seems to have intensified everything all I want to do is work but I am nervous when I do find a job I will be useless because I am a panic attack crying sobbing mess. Anyone else struggled with something like this? What helps? I am at a loss just feel so worthless

Have you looked into getting help from the Richmond Fellowship which can offer support finding and retaining a job if you have MH issues?

[Sugarrush]

I am getting support with my mental health via a counsellor and I have a job coach helping me to find work unfortunately it just takes time but I am doing all I can it is just difficult when it comes to feelings of worthlessness. Thank you for all your kind words and guidance I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond

[dorabella]

Don't feel bad about it - posts are made redundant not people, but only natural to take it personally. Same happened to me this year - after 15 years in the job. Idiot management undertook a 'structural review' last year and took bad advice from consultants and decided to make my post (chief administrator) redundant in preference to creating a new post which was frankly unworkable, detrimental to me, my colleagues and the wider organisation for which we worked. Within 3 months, they lost me and both of my colleagues - much to the shock of management ... and now are left with a non functioning administration and utter chaos. The 18-month lockdown has been a perfect opportunity for employers to mess with employees and get up to the most outrageous things

I felt utterly worthless for a few months, then gradually realised that I was not and this presented an opportunity for me to screw them for full redundancy, full year's untaken leave ... and to refocus everything in another direction. Have since been shortlisted several times, and been headhunted on favourable terms for two positions. Starting new position in July.

Can't say that it hasn't reared the old black dog again which I have not suffered from in bad way for several years and I have fought back to lift myself out of it. Didn't want to end up back at the GP with prescription for anti-d's and the old road to trek down again. Still fighting but getting there. So will you!