Thank you for replying Carnation , as much as I’d love to just crack on with my plans and life in general my plans were always a joint thing with my partner but she’s now pretty cold towards me no cuddling kissing or pretty much no emotion other than anger at the world , .I know in time things may change but I can only see a very bleak future , I don’t just sit around I still work every day but I’m in constant pain from the second I wake up .
If I cut my losses what am I left with ? My old mates pretty much begged me to go out to a party with them last week but I just made up an excuse and didn’t go , they probably just think I’m being ignorant , my family have gone , I can’t just start over again anxiety won’t let me , I have small social interactions with people when out with my dogs or working and that’s it , every night is just the same .
I have resisted adding to this post for a couple of weeks because I know all I’d write would be self pity and here it is .
I can’t be the best version of myself anymore as people put it these days ,this is as good as it gets which isn’t good at all .
I’ll leave this post to disappear now it doesn’t make good reading but thank you to all who have replied it is very much appreciated .