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Thread: Struggling

  1. #21
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    Dec 2014
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    Re: Struggling

    Anyway... Buster; getting a flat on the coast sounds great, so now you have somewhere at least better insulated than a caravan in the winter to stay. Is it as close to the sea as the caravan was? Do tell us more...

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,838

    Re: Struggling

    Hi , thanks for the replies, the heat and worry are making me feel like crap but I guess that’s most people on here ,why not just go for a test ? Why not this why not that my whole bloody life is a load of whys and why nots , there is no rhyme or reason to how my mind makes it’s decisions , now call me thick but I don’t understand if you go for a pcr test and they are reliable do you still need to isolate ? , I had one recently that’s when they gave me the flow tests , all this hassle and if you’ve got it there’s nothing can be done anyways, I’d say ignorance is bliss but it’s obviously not , the hassle I get off my family to still be doing things for them makes it easier to just carry on even if I don’t think it’s right .
    Carnation Ive always appreciated your advice in rough times and I didn’t think for a second you were telling me not to come on here telling people how I feel , I understood and agreed that putting details of my life on a public forum for all to read could cause more problems , when I’m working I lose myself in what I’m doing but once the job is done the self doubt creeps back in , I never feel good for a whole day but feeling normal every now and then is enough to keep getting up and trying .
    Catkins when I lost my mum last year I was told I couldn’t see her in hospital because of covid but then someone else told my brother he could so he saw her one last time ,before I could go she passed away , my brother turned up not being told and walked in to find her dead in bed without even a pillow under her head , bitter doesn’t cover it , covid or not people still deserve dignity at the end .
    Im so tired of keeping up the pretence that I’m doing ok , it’s exhausting acting normal but what’s the alternative? Running around the streets naked screaming I’m falling apart inside someone help me .
    So maybe start with a Pcr test and see where it takes me , I’m three days in to the ten days but do I want to waste a week of my life sitting in waiting for something that might not be happening or just carry on but avoid contact with other people for a week , I don’t see a problem in driving to a quiet place to walk my dogs if I don’t stop and hug people what’s the problem , it’s a strange new world .
    Again thanks .

  3. #23
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    Feb 2016
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    1,838

    Re: Struggling

    Pample it’s right next to the promenade but the bank blocks the view ( it also blocks the waves so it serves a purpose ) it was a real shit tip so I got in contact with the owner and came to a deal if I do it all up , trouble is even though it’s just what I want and I love it there I don’t feel I deserve it and I feel if I’m happy there then there will be a price to pay , my mind has already come up with some horrible consequences of my happiness.
    we’ll see , hope you are doing ok and you Nora the funniest cuckoo in the nest .

  4. #24
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    Dec 2014
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    Pample it’s right next to the promenade but the bank blocks the view ( it also blocks the waves so it serves a purpose ) it was a real shit tip so I got in contact with the owner and came to a deal if I do it all up , trouble is even though it’s just what I want and I love it there I don’t feel I deserve it and I feel if I’m happy there then there will be a price to pay , my mind has already come up with some horrible consequences of my happiness.
    Oh, I have those thoughts a lot Buster, you're not alone: "I'm happy - so what's gonna go wrong?".

    As long as you can hear the sea, that's good. I went through a real rough patch about ten days ago and I was going downhill fast, especially at night when it's dark and you're alone with your thoughts - and one thing I found that helped was in a place I least expected: but it was calming sounds for small children on the CBeebies website. So I can have a choice of eight hours of rain or, if I choose, eight hours of waves or several other noises. It helped me a lot, I can tell you.

  5. #25
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    Feb 2016
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    1,838

    Re: Struggling

    Nights are possibly the worst time for me , constant nightmares then waking in a panic and can’t get back to sleep ,like right now at half three in the morning,I also used to listen to rain sounds on my phone to drown out the crap spinning round in my head, I’ve gone to LBC radio station , hearing someone else talking crap helps , what I’d give for a good nights sleep .

  6. #26
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Catkins View Post
    Strangely though my husband and son who were also at home didn't have to isolate because they hadn't had contact with her and only had contact with me. Obviously it would have been different if I'd tested positive.
    Same here. It was my son who needed to self-isolate but I did it by default because all my energy is gone by the time my husband gets home so I wasn't able to go out when he was there to take over. We tested throughout the week, and nobody has tested POS in our house..
    __________________
    Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    13,541

    Re: Struggling

    I think the official advice would be to get a PCR test done and if that were negative and you are fully vaxxed then lateral flow tests every day would be enough?

    I can't see you being keen on this though because I know it's really important for you to get out and about.

    I hope your aunt is ok?

    How lovely to have got your bolthole by the sea...I'm really envious!

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    2,781

    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post

    How lovely to have got your bolthole by the sea...I'm really envious!
    Me too!

    I have to watch YouTube videos to get my ocean fix!

    Buster, can I come and live in your garden shed?
    __________________
    Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight.

  9. #29
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Struggling

    If it's padded it would suit me today...

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    1,838

    Re: Struggling

    Nora you are more than welcome to live in my shed , it’s a beach hut but it’s 90miles from the coast , it would be handy to drag it down to the flat where it should be , we really have worked out arses off to get rid of dark blue bedrooms and a bright like green kitchen and living room , it’s now neutral calm colours , when the tv is on I don’t notice I just look out of the window , in the evening the prom lights come on one by one as it gets dark , even walking the dogs down the prom at night feels calm , when it’s 30 degrees in Notts it’s usually about 24 with a sea breeze , I love it there and can see myself finding work in the future and possibly staying all through summer , happiness seems just within reach but there is always something to snatch it away ( a bit like England playing football) .
    I have plans to rent it out at peak times to offset the cost , maybe an anxiety bolthole , my theory is people with anxiety need a break and are less likely to get hammered and wreck the place .
    Youre right Pulisa me staying in for a day would give me cabin fever but I’m not going out hugging folk , I didn’t do that before covid .
    thanks all .

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