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Thread: Struggling

  1. #221
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    I do suggest taking her out places just for a drive and she does come out in the afternoon to walk the dogs but she now needs two knee replacements so she’s in agony all day and night and taking morphine codien and other painkillers wipes her out .
    Given the situation with her knees, would she contemplate a walking stick, wheelchair, or mobility scooter? That way she could get out into the fresh air and be in less pain?

    I always said you can take a moby scooters/wheelchairs and shove em but then I developed a pelvic issue (for over 6 months) aside my arthritic hip and knees and I was struggling to walk so I changed my attitude about 'aides'. I got by using a walking stick as it goes - but it's an option for your Mrs?

    every morning I just wake and think I can’t do another day of this but here we are half way through another day.
    You're stronger than you think B. Thoughts like this are generally borne out of frustration (because things are out of our control) but hope of better days (and love) is what keeps us here, right?

    and is now convinced she’s found one
    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    she had the mammogram and then an examination which found no lumps


    Fear/anxiety will do this B. It can absolutely convince us that something is 'there' when it isn't. Or we can mistake what's normal for something that's not because that's the way our HA mind wants to take us. Just keep reminding/reassuring her that she's been examined thoroughly and no lumps were found..
    __________________
    Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight.

  2. #222
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    Feb 2016
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    1,902

    Re: Struggling

    Hi all , the letter came yesterday and it’s good news , the scan doesn’t show any cancer , the inverted nipple will still have to be investigated but it could be to go with the changes from the menopause, the letter just says keep checking and if there are any changes to contact them , you would possibly think that good news changes everything but after she’s worried for a couple of months and it’s hard to come back down so she’s not really feeling any different but I hope time and rest will help, I’ve worried myself sick for nothing again I just don’t bloody learn , I feel physically ill but again with time and rest hopefully it will pass , I’ve got loads of work but picked it all up last night and said sod it let’s go back to the coast so back here and she’s fast asleep as are the dogs , lost my shit in Asda last night because they wouldn’t sell me some over the counter sleeping / antihistamine pills , some pharmacists think the are God , I need sleep .
    Nora she’s tried a walking stick and crutches but when it’s both legs it doesn’t really work , as for a wheel chair or mobility scooter she’s like you NEVER I’d rather go off a cliff .
    My daughter seems to be on the mend and is now testing negative so she’s hoping to be back at work next week and hopefully get jabbed when she can .
    what a difference a day can make , I didn’t think I could get through the days and nights of constant worry but here we are .
    THANK YOU ALL X
    Just heard a song at the end of an Ambulance programme and it was the first song I managed to listen to and enjoy after my breakdown ten years ago , it’s a great song and great lyrics , at the time it gave me hope that I could enjoy and feel again after months of feeling dead , look it up and have a listen hopefully one of you might enjoy it too , Snow Patrol , Give me strength.

  3. #223
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    May 2021
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    1,129

    Re: Struggling

    That is really good news. So pleased for you both

  4. #224
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    Hi all , the letter came yesterday and it’s good news , the scan doesn’t show any cancer
    Excellent news Buster!

    You and your Mrs are going to have to deal with the aftermath of all those stress hormones, for sure, but your worst fear didn't happen.

    Nora she’s tried a walking stick and crutches but when it’s both legs it doesn’t really work , as for a wheel chair or mobility scooter she’s like you NEVER I’d rather go off a cliff .
    Totally understand. However, if she can get past this - the benefits of getting out into the fresh air will eventually obliterate any pride issues. I fought against using a walking stick but it was that or stay in.

    Just heard a song at the end of an Ambulance programme and it was the first song I managed to listen to and enjoy after my breakdown ten years ago , it’s a great song and great lyrics , at the time it gave me hope that I could enjoy and feel again after months of feeling dead , look it up and have a listen hopefully one of you might enjoy it too , Snow Patrol , Give me strength.
    I'm wondering if watching such programmes is a good idea when your HA is high Buster? These programmes can be very triggering? When I had my breakdown I only had to see an ambulance on tv and I had a panic attack!

    RE Snow Patrol. I love the band. I have Final Straw and Eyes Open in my music collection but I'm not familiar with this song so I'll look that up.
    __________________
    Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight.

  5. #225
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    13,882

    Re: Struggling

    What a huge relief for you both but don't expect to feel that relief just yet..It'll take a while but enjoy your break at your holiday home and try and take your foot off the anxiety pedal if you can? I know it's far from easy...

  6. #226
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    7,681

    Re: Struggling

    That's brilliant news Buster and like you say it will take time to come down from that stress living phase.
    Give yourself a pat on the back (virtually) for putting your own issues to one side and being a supportive partner.
    Also give yourself a much needed break and 'just be' for a while. Enjoy your walks and surroundings and the fresh air and hopefully get some good sleep.

  7. #227
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    Feb 2016
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    1,902

    Re: Struggling

    Hi all, still at the coast , partner hasn’t been too well and fell over last night walking the dogs so she’s a bit battered and still trying to come down from the stress as am I , Ive had bad chest pain which I assume is tension from being stressed for weeks ( okay years ) .
    Right so something positive instead of my usual whining, I went out for a push bike ride yesterday to explore a bit where we are , I only did 5 miles but considering my mind is constantly telling me my chest pain is a heart attack and my asthmatic lungs are about to give up on me it was a victory in my mind .
    I also brought some things with me to test the water on wether I could do business here selling and I managed to sell them through Facebook by just changing my location , the people were nice and I had a bit of laugh with them one even sent a friend request after so I must be doing something right , I like meeting and dealing with people it’s being in situations where I’m stuck with them that freaks me out , people they’re okay in small doses, buying at home and then selling here could work and mean spending more time here .
    This morning I walked my younger dog down the beach , I sat on the sea wall while she runs up and down the edge of the sea trying to catch waves , every now and then stopping and popping her head up like a Meerkat to make sure I’ve not left her , I had a song playing on my phone and the sound of the waves in the background, the sun was out but not hot and the was a gentle breeze , it was a perfect moment and I felt relaxed , it may sound weird but I thought if my life ended there and then it would be a good way to go , there was no meteorite or tidal wave so I whistled the dawg and walked on saying morning to every one that walked by , with the dark moments it sometimes easy to forget there will be good times like that .
    Just to say again thank you for being here when I needed someone and I will try to do my bit replying to other threads , I probably won’t be much use but just knowing someone else is here is sometimes enough.
    Thanks

  8. #228
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    May 2021
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    1,129

    Re: Struggling

    Sitting by the sea sounds lovely Buster.

  9. #229
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    Feb 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Still finding it very difficult to cope , partner has been unwell since we came away and I’ve been anxious and really tensed up since getting here , we nipped home yesterday , I say nipped 200 mile round trip to collect some more stuff that I’d committed to sell , it’s a good payday so we’ll worth the trip , partner has had diarrhoea again and after last year when she ended up in hospital on the day of my mums funeral it been worrying me as where we are it’s an hour to the nearest hospital, on top of that she’s now wheezing and not feeling well , I think all the worry has left her open to getting ill, I’m trying not to freak out but when you are together most of the time it’s hard to put it to one side , I’m not really having contact with people just small talk so I’m feeling isolated, when we nipped home it felt safe but that’s not what either of us want , we want to be here at the coast but we want to be well and happy enough to enjoy it , I keep thinking this dream of moving here and working here has come too late in life , home no longer feels like home when we go back and I haven’t seen my daughters or grandkids in over a month , I miss them so much .
    One thing after another , why can’t it be one good thing after another ?

  10. #230
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    Feb 2016
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    1,902

    Re: Struggling

    I keep pushing myself to my limits to see if my anxiety will just run out and f&@k right off , but no it’s endless , my mind seems to have found what many have sought for hundreds of years , perpetual motion , a never ending cycle of anxiety powered by worry , if I could get a car to run on anxiety I’d be very rich .
    Anyway I went to a place called Donna nook ( look it up and that will give you anxiety ) it’s a military firing range for RAF jets , you can actually walk on to the range where they fire at targets , the only thing to stop you are signs saying you will be killed no fences they just rely on your common sense which can’t be a good thing with the general public, anyway we went very close and a Typhoon fighter jet came over us ridiculously low , the sound rattled your ear drums and scared the life out of you , its hard to believe you can actually be there , we watched a few more including helicopters and F16 fighters but it got me so worked up I could not bring it back down , one day I hope to go back and feel excited not anxious .
    Yesterday would have been my mums birthday so on a bit of a low but decided to go to the pub auction , one of my biggest fears , had a couple of pints and stayed a couple of hours but couldn’t really enjoy being there .
    Both experiences haven’t been a major success but God loves a tryer and I do keep trying , Ive been told I’m very trying, that s a good thing right ?
    Keep on keeping on a

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