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Thread: Struggling

  1. #81
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    Feb 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    I’d have to go no comment on your four finger comment Nora , I also go for the sucking creme eggs to the point where it’s empty and your tongue gets stuck , definitely a private moment not something you can do on the bench outside church on Easter Sunday , eating a Kitkat without breaking the fingers apart is a sackable offence .
    Funny that the shape of the same chocolate can make it taste different, a Flake is probably the best tasting shape but has to be eaten over the wheelie bin Or you end up looking like you’re doing a dirty protest.
    Possibly my most shameful attack on food was in my younger days at a festival, four in the morning we were very drunk and hungry, the only food we had left was a large lump of cheese and no knife or bread so four of us passed it around having a bite or two , we were like giant drunk mice now I’m more civilised I would stick a cocktail stick through it put a cube of pineapple on then just eat the cheese and chuck the pineapple .

  2. #82
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    I’d have to go no comment on your four finger comment Nora
    I sure I don't know what you mean Buster.

    I also go for the sucking creme eggs to the point where it’s empty and your tongue gets stuck
    I've had Creme Eggs stuck on my tongue numerous times Buster - to the point of having to stick my face into a hot mug of tea to get the bugger off!

    a Flake is probably the best tasting shape but has to be eaten over the wheelie bin Or you end up looking like you’re doing a dirty protest.
    I once attempted to fellate a Flake in front of a bloke and came very close to requiring the Heimlich maneuver!

    I can verify that being red in the face whilst manically thumping at one's chest (and dribbling chocolate down one's chin) is about as sexy as Dysentery.

    A wheelie bin though?

    Buster, chocolate is the food of the Gods. Has there ever been an advert where a scantily clad (and impossibly slim) human is scoffing a Flake over a wheelie bin?

    No. Sort yourself out mate!

    Possibly my most shameful attack on food was in my younger days at a festival, four in the morning we were very drunk and hungry, the only food we had left was a large lump of cheese and no knife or bread so four of us passed it around having a bite or two.
    This sounds quite civilised to be honest B.

    Had you have been staggering around other people's tents and trawling the bins for food at 4am...
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  3. #83
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    May 2021
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    Re: Struggling

    I have news on the jaffa cake front. I don't know if it's been around for a while, but they do something called Jaffa Jonuts. It's a ring of sponge with jaffa flavoured goo running through it and chocolate on top.

    I was very excited when I saw them in the supermarket, but unfortunately a little disappointed when I actually ate it.

  4. #84
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Struggling

    What a shame...but another biscake conundrum to divide the nation!

  5. #85
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    Re: Struggling

    From my fishing days I would end up eating the bait if the sandwiches ran out. No not worms and maggots, but cheese, luncheon meat or sweetcorn. Many years ago, myself and a mate had scaled Red Pike at Buttermere in the Lake District on a very hot day. Getting back to the car, my pork pies I'd left in there were liquid but tasted just as good.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  6. #86
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    Feb 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Feeling low today , woke up after a bad night but felt on a high that after five weekends of doing up the flat at the coast we were taking the grand kids down for weekend , daughter messaged my partner early to say we can’t take them as it makes her anxious to be away from them , I feel gutted , the hope of things being good absolutely kills me , like Christmas when they say they are coming then cancel , Ive built a bike for my grandson to take , put bunk beds up for them and won’t get to see them down there although they’re happy to go there themselves next week , my younger daughter has stopped speaking to us because I brought something up she didn’t like but I do wonder if the lesions on her brain are changing her personality , my partner told me last week she’d made plans to end her life and had been talking to the crisis team and psychiatrist without telling me , I thought this flat was her dream of living at the coast come true but I understand if she’s depressed nothing really matters .
    Been to my mums ashes this morning to have a chat , there’s a sign up saying don’t leave flowers from the parish council because I got into an argument with them about me putting her ashes in a nature reserve where she grew up , my blood f**king boils so much I feel like taking a chainsaw to their precious nature reserve and driving my van through the front of their church .
    So on the whole , angry , upset , and I don’t think any amount of chocolate will fix this , but it’s early so who knows what the day will bring .
    Anyone fancy doing a strangers on a train ? I need a church and village hall bulldozing and I’m pretty open on what I’ll do in return .
    Ta ta .

  7. #87
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    Feb 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    So we came away and the problems at home were left there , things were going good but I’ve ruined it by opening my mouth , can I ask a question and if no one is comfortable answering on this thread or pm that’s ok , I keep bringing up the subject of sex and general intimacy, after the menopause is that part of life over , I still find my partner attractive especially when we come away and we both feel happier , she looks different to me here and I compliment her a lot and want to be around her , trouble is she’s not feeling that way which if I bring it up causes arguments which quickly escalate, this has happened tonight because I said how I felt and she didn’t feel the same , we have cuddled up and held hands while out but she says she’s not even sure it’s the menopause stopping her feelings maybe it’s just that I’ve hurt her , is it possible to have a relationship where you are attracted sexually to someone that doesn’t feel it back ?
    Probably too much information but I’m good at that , we we’re going to see other fiats today but now it looks like she just wants to go home and not come back , I think I may be the reason she feels suicidal , I felt this was the place we needed but now it all seems a waste of time I’m trying to fix something that s just too broken , i used to think I was a good person but I’m not I’m selfish and self centred , I probably always have been but anxiety has definitely made me worse .
    like I said no problem if this is too personal to put an answer to its just it’s three in the morning and my head won’t stop asking questions.
    Thanks.

  8. #88
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    May 2021
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    Re: Struggling

    The menopause changes a lot of things physically and psychologically. Sex can be uncomfortable and the desire certainly changes.

    Also if she's feeling depressed and anxious she probably won't feel like sex. I know that a lot of the time I don't. Cuddles and making someone feel loved is really important, stick with that for now and as things improve generally things might improve in that area.

  9. #89
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    So we came away and the problems at home were left there , things were going good but I’ve ruined it by opening my mouth , can I ask a question and if no one is comfortable answering on this thread or pm that’s ok , I keep bringing up the subject of sex and general intimacy, after the menopause is that part of life over , I still find my partner attractive especially when we come away and we both feel happier , she looks different to me here and I compliment her a lot and want to be around her , trouble is she’s not feeling that way which if I bring it up causes arguments which quickly escalate, this has happened tonight because I said how I felt and she didn’t feel the same , we have cuddled up and held hands while out but she says she’s not even sure it’s the menopause stopping her feelings maybe it’s just that I’ve hurt her , is it possible to have a relationship where you are attracted sexually to someone that doesn’t feel it back ?
    Probably too much information but I’m good at that , we we’re going to see other fiats today but now it looks like she just wants to go home and not come back , I think I may be the reason she feels suicidal , I felt this was the place we needed but now it all seems a waste of time I’m trying to fix something that s just too broken , i used to think I was a good person but I’m not I’m selfish and self centred , I probably always have been but anxiety has definitely made me worse .
    like I said no problem if this is too personal to put an answer to its just it’s three in the morning and my head won’t stop asking questions.
    Thanks.
    Ol' Nora will take this one...

    I had an early menopause. I started at 39 and I've been post-menopausal for quite a few years now. With anxiety and fibro (as well) it's hard to know what my practically non-existent libido is actually due to?

    70% of menopausal women experience vaginal atrophy. When my doc told me I had atrophy, I asked her what I'd won it for? (joking). What this means is that the ol' vageroo becomes dry and irritated. As time goes on the vagina tightens - which is good news for husbands because it's back to the good old days before sex and childbirth stretched that sucka beyond all recognition, right? Whoohoo!

    Thing is, it's not so great for the woman because having sex starts to hurt A LOT. Soreness, pain, discomfort and sometimes bleeding. Maybe you can imagine how this would affect a woman's desire to have sex?

    Some women are even unluckier because they get atrophy of the vulva too - which means that any kind of contact with the area hurts and creates tiny tears which feel like papercuts, and that's me.. I don't do things by halves, me.

    I've been open and honest with my husband. He knows that it isn't the case that I no longer find him attractive and he's being very patient with me while I try and find natural ways to improve my 'undercarriage' so that I could tolerate sex again. HRT could sort all this out very quickly but I can't take it because of my cancer risk. My husband was mortified when I told him that sex had caused me pain but we are loving in other ways and in some ways that can be a lot more exiting than sex itself?

    Some women don't talk about this stuff Buster. Nobody educates girls about the menopause. It's generally something that happens in a consultant's office alongside a prescription for hormone replacement therapy. And I think it's diabolical how women are just left to try and cope with this. The majority of women don't speak up - to doctors or their husbands/partners. They suffer, and silently.

    Personally speaking, my menopause symptoms have affected me as much psychologically as physically and there has been fear of my husband leaving me - to the point where I actually pushed him to go and get it over and done with? My husband looked very hurt when I said this to him and he said that he has everything he wants with me, and that sex is just a bonus. If it happens, great. If not - no problem, He has Madame P and her five lovely daughters, right?

    Maybe you need to get a few drinkies in one night and have a heart to heart with your Mrs? Ask her if she wants to talk about what's happening to her? How she feels? She might just open up to you (excuse the pun)

    Some women fly through the meno and still have great sex lives. THE BLOODY COWS!!! But most don't. Remember that 70%?

    My husband compliments me a lot too but I struggle to believe him because I feel so 'defective' and I imagine your Mrs will be feeling the same way?

    All you can do is reassure her and let her know that you love her unconditionally and are willing to go at her pace with this..

    If lack of sex a deal breaker for you then you do have a problem. It's taken my husband years to convince me that this isn't the issue for him and that does go some way to helping me come to terms with my shitty menopausal lot..

    Maybe she's just scared to show her feelings to you B? So you have to let her know that she's in safe hands, right?

    Me and my husband have come up with a traffic light system (like they have in Tesco?) Red = don't farkin breathe in my direction. Green = You can grope my @rse

    I should add that my husband has offered to wear a Tom Hardy face mask? Dude's a trier, I'll give him that.
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  10. #90
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    Dec 2014
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    Re: Struggling

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    my younger daughter has stopped speaking to us because I brought something up she didn’t like but I do wonder if the lesions on her brain are changing her personality
    It may not be the case here, but the second husband of a friend of my wife (whose first two husbands died on her - third time lucky it seems for her, not for them) developed lesions on his brain after a car crash and it did cause a personality change - and sadly, not for the better.

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