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Thread: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

  1. #1
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    Jul 2016
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    797

    13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. My daughter (13) told me a few days ago that she's been having pain for the past 2 months or so. The best way I can describe it is it's in her bum cheeks, left and right. It's kind of like the bone in there. It gets worse when she sits down and she said it was extremely uncomfortable in school as they have hard seats there.
    It got very uncomfortable yesterday, even when she was standing. She gets relief from it if she lies down on heat.
    I'm not sure what this could be and I'm trying to stay calm. Could it be a growing issue, she is very thin even though she eats a lot. Or possibly dehydration as she doesn't drink much and I'm trying to get her to change that now?
    I know I can't get a diagnosis here but wondering if anyone has any thoughts, or if it happened to anyone here what caused it.
    I think I'll have to ring the doctor about it at this stage but I can't do it until the end of the week as we're going away today for a few days.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    697

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    I'm not an expert on these things, but I would say make sure she drinks plenty. There's an awful lot going on in bodies at that age so definitely worth checking with the GP, could be growing pains, could be hormonal changes, it could be lack of fatty padding in her rear end?

  3. #3
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    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    Is she stressed or emotionally inclined? It sounds like a tension issue. As in dog tuck it’s tail under it’s bottom when it’s upset! Us humans do it when we clench or tighten out bum cheeks. I get it quite a lot as I’m stressed and tense a lot xx
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    963

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    Does the pain run down to her legs at all? It could be a bit of sciatica, does she do sports? Or does she sit down on a hard surface a lot during the day?

    I once had a pain in my bottom/upper hamstring area, which turned out to be some form of nerve/sciatic pain. One of my legs felt achey and odd for a few weeks too.

  5. #5
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    Jul 2016
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    797

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    Thanks for your replies.

    Update: I took her to the doctor this morning and she's sending her for a scan. Won't get it done until Monday. In the meantime she's giving her anti inflammatorys. The doctor did say, even though she doesn't know what's causing it, she doesn't think it's anything serious. I was glad to hear that. But coming home in the car my daughter said the pain is now only in her right side and she's not sure if it's always just been the right side. She said maybe she should have said that to the doctor and I said yes, she should. I asked her several times over the past week or so if it was on both sides and she always said yes. Now she's thinking maybe it's not as she has the pain on one side now.
    This is worrying me. I wish she had said that to the doctor. It might change what the doctor said to us. One sided pain always worries me because with HA your mind goes to awful places.

    I wasn't too bad leaving the doctors but now I'm worried sick again. What kind of things do x-rays even pick up?

  6. #6
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    Jul 2016
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    797

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    I'm jumping to worst case scenarios and I can't stop it. I'm looking through my cbt, trying to apply it but it's not working. The fear feels stronger this time, more realistic, which is making it all worse.
    I feel like I'm failing cause I can't rationalise this one. Don't know what to do.

  7. #7
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    Jul 2016
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    797

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    I'm really having a bad day. The worrying about my daughter isn't easing. Loads of little things have gone wrong for me here today - I know they're small things but when you're having a bad day they add up.
    Then my son (20) just said he needs to change his bedsheets because he was sweating a lot last night. He didn't feel too hot, like there were too many blankets on him, but was drenched with sweat. Got up in the middle of the night to wipe himself.
    Now that's ringing alarm bells in my head. I'm feeling at a loss at this stage, don't know what to do any more.

  8. #8
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    May 2021
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    697

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    He could have been having a dream then woke up, not remembering the dream. That would have made him sweaty.

    The scan will show if anything needs exploring. Trust what your doctor said, whether it's one side or both.

    You're spiralling. Did you find going through the CBT helpful? Is there anything else you can do to distract yourself?

  9. #9
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    Jul 2016
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    797

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    I know I'm in a spiral but it's so difficult to get out of. It's as if I'm falling and falling and can't stop for a minute just to catch my breath and think about climbing back up. I'm just doing the CBT worksheets in the sticky posts here. They've helped me to a certain degree but not for this. There's been some minor issues over the past few weeks where the CBT has helped me and I've worked through it, issues that would have turned into huge worries a couple of months ago.

    For my son I'll just have to see how it goes. Other than the sweating he seems fine, apart from a bit of hay fever.

    My daughter's scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous about it. I even saw a mark on the top of her chest last night and am panicking about skin cancer. It didn't look like a normal spot you'd get. I know that sounds ridiculous and if I was reading this after somebody else wrote it I'd be thinking too they are in a bad spiral. It's so easy to spot someone else's HA taking control of them but so hard to shake it off when it's happening to me.

    I'll see how tomorrow goes but we won't get the results for a couple of days anyway

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
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    797

    Re: 13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

    I haven't been this scared in a long time, hardly slept last night. Can't get the thoughts of bone cancer of something serious like it out of my head. This is such a horrible feeling. My daughter also told me over the weekend that the bottom of her back is bruised, where her spine is. I know her spine sticks out a bit and i did see that bruising a few years ago but put it down to the hard chair she had in school.
    I hate this, feel so helpless

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