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Thread: Worse before better on paroxetine?

  1. #71
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    Jun 2021
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    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Hi Ian,

    I use thought challenging everyday. And to a large extent it works.

    However when I am in the throws of a full blown anxiety attack it has limited effectiveness.

    I hope to get some relief from the medication to make more room for the talk therapy to work.

    Honestly I know that driving in traffic on a main road is no reason to panic. But when I find myself in that situation rational thought disappears and gives rise to anxiety. I do not know why but it happens again and again. You would think it would be gone by now (4years). I guess I am what Claire Weekes called “sensitised”. Sometimes I am in the same situation and it does not cause any panic at all. Bizarre.

  2. #72
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    3,557

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Quote Originally Posted by jonjon View Post
    Honestly I know that driving in traffic on a main road is no reason to panic.
    Did you once have a panic attack on that road, or on another one, John?

    The second of the 3 PAs that propelled me into panic disorder occurred while waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so I could compete a right hand turn on a major intersection during the morning peak. I felt the PA building as I approached the intersection and it really kicked in just as I stopped in the middle with the major symptom dimmed, blurred vision. I can't tell you how I got out of it, but I knew I had to before the lights changed because some idiot was almost certainly going to take off and clean me up. I moved interstate soon after so didn't have to drive through that intersection again, but I did take side streets for a while to avoid light controlled intersections.

    Then in 2010 I was back there after 23 years and while I didn't have a full blown PA, my anxiety levels did shoot up dramatically even before I consciously remembered what had happened there all those years ago.

  3. #73
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
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    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Long story short I was in a situation where I had to drive over the Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Harbour Tunnel to get to work daily. I had no trouble doing the commute except for normal rush hour annoyance.

    Work was my own business that was failing and I realised that financially I was going to take a big hit. Worse still I had 2 years left on a lease I could not get out of.
    The icing on the cake was that I made this realisation just as my son was born.

    So depression about losing a bunch of cash, not enjoying my newborn AND being stuck in this situation for another 24 months broke me mentally. I do not know how I made it through.

    This led to massive panic attacks especially when alone in the car and intrusive thoughts. I got to a point towards the end where I basically gave up going to work and wrapped things up a few months early.

    Then I took almost a year to recover to a point where I could work 3 days a week in a pretty easy job. Things were looking better. Still anxious about driving and well just existing but I was better. I was trying different medications every few months but life was ok even without them.

    This January my family (me, wife, son, sister in law) all drove up to the central coast for a friends birthday.

    On the way back home a driver on the other side of the road must of being playing with his phone or distracted in some way. He drove straight in front of us causing a bad head on collision. I was bruised up pretty bad but otherwise ok. My son was bruised up too and psychologically in quite a state but ok. My wife who was driving shattered here heal bone and required surgery. Her recovery will take years. My sister in law was airlifted to hospital with suspected spinal injuries. She had a bunch of broken bones but will recover with time.

    So for the next few months after the accident I was stuck looking after my family who could not fend for themselves whilst being pretty banged up myself. Depression and anxiety and intrusive thoughts kicked in AGAIN.

    This led me back to psychiatrist to see if I could get some relief.

    So here I am. Paroxetine week 6, no relief.

    Thanks for listening Ian.

  4. #74
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Oh heck, you've had an awful time. Really hope things improve for you.

  5. #75
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
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    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Quote Originally Posted by Catkins View Post
    Oh heck, you've had an awful time. Really hope things improve for you.
    Thanks Catkins, I know things will get better. I just need more time.

  6. #76
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
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    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Still no action on the paroxetine front. I am fighting a sinus infection at the moment so I think that is not helping my state of mind…

    Really hope the nocturnal awakenings side effects go away soon.

    Think I will take a clonazepam tonight as I had a bad sleep last night and two bad sleeps in a row knocks me out.

  7. #77
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Posts
    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    UPDATE:

    I am still taking 10mg paroxetine every morning. It will be week 7 tomorrow.

    Last 3 days I have added 1/4 teaspoon of inositol 2 or 3 times daily to my schedule.

    Improvements have been staggering.

    Yesterday I drove to my mothers place to help her put up a mirror and on the way home something inside me was telling me to try the freeway instead of the usual “safe” route. (I have not gone that way in over a year). I did it with panic but it did not overwhelm me like usual.

    Today I went to work and took the main roads which involve big scary bridges. Again I felt panic sensations in my body but they did not disable me like usual.

    I have also felt more chatty lately.

    I still get headaches although not as severe and the paroxetine is still getting me up at 3am for an hour where I am wide awake. I also still get the teeth grinding.

    Is this the paroxetine FINALLY kicking in or the inositol doing something positive?

    Any help would be appreciated.

    Thank you

    John

  8. #78
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    2,737

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    It could be, although 10mg is quite a low dose.

    Tbh it doesn't matter what the cause is, if you're starting to feel a little better it's really good.

    You'll probably still have ups and downs, so if you have a crappy day don't beat yourself up.

  9. #79
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Posts
    139

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    Hi Catkins,

    Thanks for the advice.

    I know I am still not 100% but it seems I just carry the anxiety with me more now rather than fight it. The olympics are a great distraction!

    I think being down for so long I need to retrain myself to what normal feels like if that makes sense.

    Because of an ongoing Covid lockdown in my part of the world I have yet to see my psych to discuss my progress. She offers video sessions but I keep differing my appointment until I can get a face to face. (I do not like Zoom/Skype sessions)
    I could bet you she will say increase the dose :-)

    John

  10. #80
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    2,737

    Re: Worse before better on paroxetine?

    It makes so total sense. When I get really anxious I feel like my body forgets how to relax and has to relearn how to do it. Hence I do yoga twice a week, do guided meditation, have a massage once a month. Plus the medication.

    Also having CBT (on the phone) and speaking to a counsellor (which is on zoom, which I don't like as much as in person, but it was more important for me to speak to someone than wait).

    You'll get there, just keep trying and eventually things will feel more natural and 'normal'.

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