Mother keeps following and cornering me every time I'm eating

[Lencoboy]

I am really at my wit's end right now because my mom (who has dementia) persistently follows, corners and touches me while I am eating.

I have tried to be as tolerant as possible for the most part towards this quirk of hers but today I almost had a meltdown when she did it whilst I was eating a sandwich at lunchtime.

She has always had a bit of a habit of interfering and cornering me whilst I was eating and taking personally my flipping out at her for invading my personal space, long before she developed dementia. My aunt (her sister) has always been worse in the sense of being unable (and unwilling) to comprehend people's rights to personal space, and sticking her oar in herself during mealtimes.

I feel so hopeless because I feel intolerant right now and feel like a cruel and insensitive barsteward, and my mom has accused me of hating her, which is far from the truth.

Thank God I'm off to my day centre tomorrow and Thursday with social distancing still mostly in place, especially at lunchtimes.

[Catkins]

It's so difficult with dementia, she just won't understand why you need your space and want to be left in peace.

Do you eat at the same time as her? Could her being occupied with eating take the pressure off you?

You're not a barsteward, it's just a really difficult situation. I've worked with elderly people for the last 20 years including people with dementia and it isn't easy.

[Lencoboy]

It's so difficult with dementia, she just won't understand why you need your space and want to be left in peace.

Do you eat at the same time as her? Could her being occupied with eating take the pressure off you?

You're not a barsteward, it's just a really difficult situation. I've worked with elderly people for the last 20 years including people with dementia and it isn't easy.

The three of us always eat our evening meals together at the table, where she isn't generally so bad, but it's mostly when we're not all eating together such as lunchtimes and occasionally during breakfast in the morning where she corners me.

Thankfully no one (as yet) at my day centre is so possessive of me that they feel compelled to follow me around the place and constantly corner me, especially fellow female clients who could have the hots for me!

[Catkins]

Maybe grab you lunch while she's busy having hers?

Would it be a bad thing if a girl followed you around? Mind you, it would make life more complicated.

[Lencoboy]

Maybe grab you lunch while she's busy having hers?

Would it be a bad thing if a girl followed you around? Mind you, it would make life more complicated.

That's one of the benefits of social distancing ATM, as well as lesser chances of catching Covid, of course.

[NoraB]

I feel so hopeless because I feel intolerant right now and feel like a cruel and insensitive barsteward, and my mom has accused me of hating her, which is far from the truth.

Thank God I'm off to my day centre tomorrow and Thursday with social distancing still mostly in place, especially at lunchtimes.

You're not a B'stard at all Len. You're having to cope with a very stressful situation with your mother as well as trying to cope with your own issues.

My advice? Your mum has dementia so I doubt that she's able to adapt. I know how difficult having to make adaptions is when you're autistic but needs must and all that. If lunchtime is an issue, then find a way around it so that you get to eat your food in peace and keep your 'marbles' intacto.

Re folk following you around? My husband has a habit of walking up behind me and invading my space. I hate to be touched when I don't know it's coming, and I think I'd respond with a flinch and a 'DUDE! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEE!' if it was Tom Hardy's hands on my baps!

Thankfully my husband has a sense of humour and he takes it well, but I can't help but feel guilty...

I made the mistake of turning it on him one day...

Me: How would YOU feel if I walked up behind you and grabbed your todger?

Hubs: *massive grin* *turns into Sid James*

[Lencoboy]

I've started having these bad feelings about the thought of my mom cornering me and invading my personal space before preparing and eating a sandwich tonight, as we had our main sit-down meal at lunchtime today.

I'm just worried I'll violently explode and chuck the plate across the room and/or a cup/glass up the wall (but not at anyone) and my dad might then flip out at me!

But then again, I kind of wish my dad would disown me and boot me out of the house right now, just like Bobby Grant did to Barry on several occasions in Brookside back in the 80s!

[Lencoboy]

Just had a massive row with my dad, as he accused me of being selfish after I voiced my concerns tonight.

He refused to disown me though and said that he is 'not Bobby Grant'.

I feel like getting in touch with my local MH team in Lichfield tomorrow and confessing that I'm out of control and my dad is struggling to cope right now, plus try to plead with them to help me get into the respite unit (in Burton).

I shall probably have a chat with the manager at my day centre tomorrow too.

[Lencoboy]

Just had a massive row with my dad, as he accused me of being selfish after I voiced my concerns tonight.

He refused to disown me though and said that he is 'not Bobby Grant'.

I feel like getting in touch with my local MH team in Lichfield tomorrow and confessing that I'm out of control and my dad is struggling to cope right now, plus try to plead with them to help me get into the respite unit (in Burton).

I shall probably have a chat with the manager at my day centre tomorrow too.

BTW, me and my dad had a long calm chat this evening and reconciled with each other.

He said he understands and appreciates how much my day centre means to me, and that he doesn't really want to keep me from going there.

But hopefully times will soon start to get easier again once the Covid situation starts to ease, which is looking more likely every day now.