Back again.... unfortunately... please help

[Chrysmar09]

Back in 2017 I found this forum during one of the worst times in my life. I was dealing with high anxiety, med issues, depersonalization, ocd intrusive thoughts...everything anxiety related. I went back on prozac and through some ****ed up times including in 2018 when I went to jail for a warrant, lost my job, apartment, and then my dad dying I still managed to deal with it. I was on prozac. In Dec 2020 I got covid and I ran out of my prozac and the clinic I was going to stopped taking my insurance so I haven't taken anything. But now I'm having the same problems like i did in 2017.

I had a bad panic attack over thinking I got covid again last week and then I just spiraled. Now I'm really bad because My daughter got a bug bite (not sure what bite her) Thursday night. By Friday afternoon she was throwing up but no fever. Went to the ER and they gave her a antibiotic and I put a topical gel for itching on it but Saturday came and it was swollen and in pain from barely touching it. Went back to the ER and they gave her a stronger antibiotic and said only do warm compresses to get the swelling down. It's not hurting today and it's not swelling but it looks darker and now my anxiety is in overdrive.

I'm crying and im scared. I can't have anything happen to her. She's 16 and my only child. I was already dealing with horrible anxiety this week but this has thrown me into 24/7 panic mode. I can't stop worrying that it's more serious and that she will have her leg amputated or something like that. I know that sounds crazy but I'm a "worst case scenario" thinker.

I'm scared and alone and not sure how to cope. I'm having depersonalization, bad intrusive thoughts that I'm going to go crazy and lose my mind. I keep over analyzing my thoughts to make sure if I'm "normal". I went to a mental health clinic Friday to see about getting back on meds but I'm afraid me starting and stopping is making things worse. Then the therapist there said I have cptsd and I'm like wtf. It's all too much and I'm so scared and alone. My family just keeps telling me I'm going to drive myself crazy which makes me feel worse. I just need to know that I'm not losing my mind and that I haven't caused irreversible brain damage from starting and stopping prozac

[Catkins]

Did they give you medication on Friday? Have you started taking it?

I say this because if you have started taking it you might have an increase in anxiety initially, which will settle in time. If you have a look in the medication section there's a lot of helpful stuff in there.

[Chrysmar09]

Thank you for replying. I go to the Dr on the 10th. I am going to talk to them about medication and my options. I've taken medicine before but I'm still scared

[Chrysmar09]

Last night I reached a breaking point and I can't live like this. I started taking 10mg prozac today. This will be my fourth time taking it in my lifetime. I'm scared that it won't work or my side effects will be worse. Prozac seems to be the only one that agrees with me. Paxil almost killed me and cymbalta made my anxiety worse. I don't want to take a benzo because I'm afraid of getting addicted but my health anxiety is out of control. I'm not sleeping I'm barely eating and this acid reflux stuff is getting worse and I'm worried I have everything from stomach cancer to esophagus cancer or heart attacks.

Has anyone started and stopped a antidepressant throughout their life? Any success stories out there?

[AntsyVee]

Lots of people have! And remember, there are many more than just the few you’ve had experience with! Hang in there!

[Chrysmar09]

Omg antsy vee thank you for responding to me. I wanted to reach out but I thought you wouldn't remember me. You were so helpful to me last time. I'm so scared because it's almost like 2017 all over again and I'm so embarrassed.

[AntsyVee]

Omg antsy vee thank you for responding to me. I wanted to reach out but I thought you wouldn't remember me. You were so helpful to me last time. I'm so scared because it's almost like 2017 all over again and I'm so embarrassed.

It's okay! We all have setbacks! But that's all this is... You'll get through this one too! There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Remember, we can only do better than we did the day before!