Re: I am beyond terrified. I think it’s real this time.
Originally Posted by
niknakx
but I just have absolutely no control of my anxiety. I am permanently scared. I am losing weight like crazy because I can barely even stomach an apple a day and I throw up every morning from fear. I just want to go back to normal! I really hope everyone is right about this and I'm just being silly.
You have more control than you think. There is within you a 'switch' that just needs to be flicked. It starts with the decision to do something about your disorder.
It's not a 'maybe', or 'I will try' or anything that involves the word 'but...'. It's a very firm decision that you will do whatever it takes to control/overcome health anxiety. By doing this you are sending a message to your HA Gremlin that you mean business..
As it is, the dialogue you're feeding into your mind is, 'I am beyond terrified'. That's a bit dramatic, don't you think? But this is fine dining for HA! Top stuff!! Massive release of stress hormones every, single, time you think like this..
'I think it's real this time'
Yeah, so did I the time I thought I had bowel/ovarian cancer. And the time I thought I had MS or when I was having a stroke/heart attack..
Except that the only person who was convinced of my imminent demise, was me..
I was that convinced, I planned my own funeral. That was in 2017. Still here! And that's because the night before my colonoscopy - which would surely reveal that I was riddled with cancer - I decided I'd had enough of living in absolute fear and accepted whatever was going to happen. That night I was calm as can be. Of course, I didn't have cancer. I was diagnosed with the non-life threatening FMS (fibromyalgia) two years later, and I already knew I had GAD - but that night was my turning point. I've grafted my way back from mental breakdown and I've been working hard ever since to maintain the control over what, for me, has been a lifelong mental disorder..
I'd start saving those pennies to be able to pay your boyfriend that £1000 you've bet him...
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A thought is harmless unless we believe it.