Scared I Have Pancreatic Cancer

[willll]

Hey everyone… I’m back again.

Recently (for about 4 days now) I have been experiencing a dull/gnawing pain in my right upper abdomen under my ribs. The pain sometimes wraps around my back and goes up my shoulder blade. I’m scared I have pancreatic cancer…

I’m only 22 years old and besides being slightly overweight and having high blood pressure, I’m completely healthy. Over 90% of cases of pancreatic cancer happen in people over 40, and it’s almost unheard of for someone my age to get it. However, I’ve also recently lost about 40 pounds over a year and a half. I’ve mostly contribute me this to not eating as much after I moved out of my moms house (I only eat once a day now, I know, it’s bad. Not from lack of appetite but it is just usually how things work out now.)

I’ve somehow now contributed my weight loss and pain to pancreatic cancer and have convinced myself that the cancer is in a late stage because of my symptoms and has possible spread to my liver, which is what is causing this pain.

The pain isn’t excruciating, just kind of annoying and uncomfortable, but feels like it’s getter worse each day. Because it’s not severe pain, I don’t think it’s gallstones or gallbladder related. My poops have also been normal lately and no excess gas or anything so I don’t think it’s IBS.

I know this sounds totally irrational, but I’m hoping that just writing this will make me feel better. I’m also hoping someone has had a similar experience they can share.

Thanks for reading!!


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[willll]

I’ve also considered liver cancer… Isn’t it crazy how our brains are wired to find the worst possible cause for something?


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[Fishmanpa]

Isn’t it crazy how our brains are wired to find the worst possible cause for something?

Indeed it is!

FMP

[willll]

Ugh, now I have moved on from pancreatic cancer to liver cancer…

I’m positive I have an extremely rare (I did the math, a 1 in 1,666,666.67 chance) type of liver cancer called fibrolamellar hepatocellular carcinoma. It’s a cancer that primarily affects young people. I didn’t think liver cancer was possible, as it almost always affects older people… until I came across this.

I’m so disappointed as I’ve been doing fairly well with my health anxiety lately. It’s probably nothing and part of me knows that. Or if it is something, it’s probably just gallstones or something much more common and much less sinister. A part of me knows this… But another part of me thinks that I must have this disease; there is no other explanation.

I go from feeling okay to feeling like I am soon going to find out that I only have months to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to leave my mom.


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[NoraB]

I’m so disappointed as I’ve been doing fairly well with my health anxiety lately. It’s probably nothing and part of me knows that. Or if it is something, it’s probably just gallstones or something much more common and much less sinister. A part of me knows this… But another part of me thinks that I must have this disease; there is no other explanation.

Sounds like IBS to me...

I go from feeling okay to feeling like I am soon going to find out that I only have months to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to leave my mom.

Dying isn't as scary as people imagine. Those who have died and come back to tell the tale (NDEs) generally say how pleasant the experience is - so much so that they have to be encouraged to get back into their bodies? Imagine that?

In the highly unlikely event that you do only have a few months to live, how would you spend that time?

I don't believe in talking about death in hushed tones, or not at all. We have to face what we fear...

Maybe you need to reframe how you think about death and dying? Remove the fear factor from the inevitable. The chances of you actually being here to start with are mind blowing, but you were the one who won that particular race. You will die one day. We all will. You, me, your mum (my mum's already gone) my kids, my grandchildren, everybody on this forum - my dog. It's a cert my friend. And you are wasting the time you do have by allowing your imagination to run riot with imaginary diseases..

HA is very, very convincing until you see it for what it is, and when you do it's a lot like when the 'all powerful and terrifying Wizard of Oz is revealed to be a little old bloke with no real powers at all..

My friend had liver cancer. Sure you have pain but pain doesn't equal cancer. My mate was so yellow, she looked like a Simpson. And her body was so full of fluid that she struggled to walk. Her bloods were off the scale. This is not you.

More so, I saw her in her last few hours on this Earth, and she was incredibly peaceful. But before she got to that point, she packed as much living in as she possibly could. She travelled the world with her family. She saw that they were financially ok, and made some happy memories for her kid to remember her by. The woman was an inspiration to me and everybody around her. The worst really did happen to her, and she owned the entire experience, rather than spend her remaining time in fear. And it is generally the case that terminally ill people do respond this way because we tend to cope better with difficult things which are real than what's imagined...

[Fishmanpa]

until I came across this.

Translation: Until I Googled

FMP

[willll]

Thank you Nora. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but what a beautiful life she decided to live after she found out. I agree with everything you said, and it gives a lot of insight as to what might be causing these thoughts.

Yes, exactly FMP… Google


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[NoraB]

Thank you Nora. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but what a beautiful life she decided to live after she found out.

One of my favourite quotes is Viktor Frankl's...

Everything can be taken from a man (or woman) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances..

My friend did just that, and so did my dad when he was given his terminal diagnosis. If the same should happen to me, I hope that my response is as courageous as theirs.

We're all on borrowed time Will. My nephew died when he was 4 years old. My aunty when she was 93. Doesn't seem fair does it? But that little boy lit up the world in those 4 years he was here and he knew happiness and love. Some folk can live to be 100 years old and never know either of those things. Time is just that. What matters is what we do with it..

Get your head around death and dying. Accept it for the natural part of life that it is (and how necessary or we'd become extinct) and you will be able to live.

[willll]

So, a few days ago I posted a thread about pancreatic cancer. Since then, I’ve moved on to another fear… liver cancer.

It all started last week with a dull ache in my upper right abdomen. Sort of felt like a cramping pain. It was constant and I didn’t think much of it until the next day when it continued. As the days progressed it got worse. It is constant and not severe (which makes me think it’s not my gallbladder). Feels like a dull ache sometimes, and sometimes it feels like a sharp stabbing pain. Other times it just feels crampy and bloated.

I was googling as usual and came across a specific type of liver cancer that primarily affects younger people. It is extremely rare, but for some reason I cannot accept any other cause.

I messaged my doctor today. My mom seems to think it’s my gallbladder, but I’m terrified that it’s something worse. I can envision myself going to the doctors office and being diagnosed with cancer. I fear that I do not have much time left, because this specific type of cancer is usually found in a very late stage. I don’t know what to do.


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[NotDeadYet]

willll

I’m sorry you’re having a rough go right now. There are two things you should do: get a doctors appointment and get the all clear and then work on your health anxiety. In the meantime you can practice challenging your thoughts. You’re worried about a very rare cancer. Use that information to challenge your thinking.

Best Wishes