Hi all,
I have been hunting around to see if there are any PMDD forums around but there doesn't seem to be any that are regularly in use. It fits in this forum though, as one of the reasons I am questioning if I have it is due to the fact that my anxiety is sky high and I am also anxious about what having PMDD means.
I have been noticing, over the past two years or so, that for the two weeks leading up to my period I am occasionally experiencing severe symptoms of PMS - like it just seems too much to be ordinary run-of-the-mill PMS. When I was a teen, I didn't really experience much PMS. All that happened was occasionally I'd snap or I might be moved to tears by a charity advertisement but that was the extent of it. Now, things are different. Before I start talking about the symptoms, I will say that I do not experience these extreme symptoms for every period I get (not sure if thats required for a diagnosis or not). Some periods I practically have zero symptoms but I would say most lately give me bad symptoms mentally.
So, right now, within a few days of period, I feel horrible mentally. Over the weekend I was incredibly depressed, and even had mild suicidal thoughts on Sunday night (when I say that I assure you I would never harm myself and am not in danger - I just start thinking that nobody would miss me if I wasn't here, etc). On Monday I was so down I felt like crying all day, and did for a good portion of it. And there wasn't really any proper reason for this. Well, things were upsetting me but it definitely seemed overdramatic to the situation. This morning I woke up at about 5am with awful anxiety over nothing in particular and could not get back to sleep. This is unlike me. I obviously do suffer from anxiety (hence being part of this forum) but this is usually always in relation to social settings and hypochondria. Neither of these things are bothering me at the moment.
All day I have had anxiety for no apparent reason. Even as I type now I just feel this heaviness inside me like this crippling anxiety mixed with a little sadness. I have had a few moments where I have wanted to scream or have cried hysterically for a while. I seriously do not know what is up with me. I feel like getting my period will be such a relief.
What worries me most is that I have noticed it beginning to affect my relationship. A couple months ago, before my period, I was giving my boyfriend a really hard time unnecessarily while he was at work and being over emotional and hysterical, practically begging for attention. I later learned that he had been having a bad day mentally and at work and that I had added to it. I felt so ashamed of my behaviour. When my period arrived, I looked back on the week before wondering what the hell was wrong with me, why I had acted in that way and frankly was embarrassed.
Fast forward to this weekend, I did a similar thing. We went out with some friends and my boyfriend was drinking. I don't drink so I can be slightly irritated by drunk people but nothing major. Well, that whole night I barely spoke a word to anyone and probably sat there with an upset face. When we got home, I had a massive go at him even though he had technically done nothing wrong. Worst bit is, his friend saw me get angry with him (not the full on go I had at him inside but he saw I was annoyed) and now I think they have been joking/complaining about me being so annoyed. That in turn has given me further depression and anxiety.
I literally hate feeling like this but it would help to know that it was likely PMDD. Then at least I could take a step back and remind myself that normally this would not be bothering me. I have tried telling myself that today.
I would love to hear from anyone or has it or knows about it. You actually can't find too many places online where women are sharing their experiences about it.
Also, generally speaking, any tips on calming this anxiety would be fantastic too
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