Urine question, again, getting scared...

[pulisa]

So what type of therapy has this therapist suggested for you, Debbie?

[Cptdebbie]

I was going to the ocd and anxiety specialist when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. At that time, I switched to a more general counselor to help me with grief. That was about three years ago. After two years of little progress I decided to try a new counselor. It took a long time to find someone I felt comfortable with due to covid. All the highly recommended therapists were booked out for months.

I started with a new therapist a few months ago. I am doing EMDR therapy with some other things mixed in.

I like my new therapist. I feel empowered after I see him.

Right now, on this forum, I feel like I’m defending myself in a setting where I should be getting support. All of my therapists have told me that most people who are abused get stuck in the fight or flight state. It is very difficult to get out of this state. The fact that I was emotionally abused for 40 years means I may never get completely out of it. I nevertheless keep trying.

So, I come here for understanding from people who suffer from the same issue. There may be others here who have been severely damaged emotionally. Nearly everyday I have to fight hard just to get out of bed. The fact that I do so is an achievement considering what I’ve been through. My therapists and my general practitioner are all amazed that I haven’t killed myself or died from some other cause. That is what happens to most people who have been abused for 40 years and have complex ptsd, severe anxiety, and depression.

Health anxiety is, for me, a symptom of a much bigger problem. It may be the same for others.

Please be careful of supposing you know how to fix those who post. What worked for you or someone else may not be the solution for everyone.

[pulisa]

What help do you want from people on here though? You don't know anyone else's history, Debbie. You may be surprised at what others have gone through too.

I'm very surprised to hear what your previous therapists and GP have said about your mental health and how amazing it is that you are still alive.

[Cptdebbie]

I come to this forum to get help in being more sensible in regards to my health. My most common objective is to decide whether or not to go see my doctor. I know there is a risk involved in trusting people I don’t know, but the forum is somewhere to go when I don’t have anywhere else.

Sometimes I want reassurance. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that occasionally. We all seek for reassurance in various aspects of our lives.

I live alone, my children regard my health anxiety as nonsense, and I worry that I tire my friends. So, I come to this forum where I believe most people won’t judge me when I can ask health anxiety type questions.

I don't come here to be cured. I have professionals trying to cure me. I don't come here to be chastened. I come here to be understood and supported.

I served as a volunteer at our church and headed up an AA type meeting for about a year. These meetings were great. There was no judgment, just support. All sorts of people with a common problem gathered and validated one another. It was absolutely beautiful.

Maybe that is what I was expecting here? I don’t know. I just feel like this thread and others have made me feel judged, not understood.

[BlueIris]

Unfortunately, seeking reassurance can be part of an unhelpful holding pattern with HA. Our ultimate goal should be to learn to reassure ourselves - this is the only way we can manage this horrible disease.

[pulisa]

I was trying to empower you too, Debbie. Being told that you will always be a victim by health professionals must be absolutely demoralising and I was hoping that you would prefer to challenge this in therapy. I apologise for upsetting you. That wasn't my intention.

[Cptdebbie]

Thank you for explaining yourself Pulisa. I appreciate it, and I’m sorry if I misunderstood. 🤗

[NoraB]

I periodically have blood in my urine. I also get kidney stones. That is why I originally saw a urologist.

Then the testing makes sense..

A therapist who specializes in anxiety and ocd suggested it. It’s helped me quite a bit.

I read your initial post as saying that the therapist told you to stop checking your urine and then you asked your GP/Urologist if this was OK? It didn't come across (albeit to me) as the therapist suggesting that you have a test done every 6 months..

I'm so sorry to hear about your past. I understand abuse and you have my empathy..

I have to put a lot of energy into staying alive too, and these days my energy is in short supply thanks to FMS. It's mostly about survival now - about getting through the days - but I try very hard to live as much as I possibly can. A lot of effort for a few seconds or minutes of joy and I really hope you can still find moments of joy too?

As regards the OP - testing is right for you, but I'd say this is not the route she wants to be going down if she wants to overcome her health anxiety. Testing can reveal 'incidental' findings which can really ramp up anxiety in HAers. This is one of many reasons why it's unhelpful and this kind of 'reassurance testing' should be avoided unless medically necessary..

All the best to you Debbie.

[swajj]

I’ll reassure you because I no longer believe that offering reassurance is such a bad thing. This started happening to me about 8 years ago. It still happens. I’ve had the “gold standard” tests and nothing was wrong. I’m extremely busy at work and used to drink about a litre of water a day. My doctor told me that I needed to drink 2 litres of water and to stop worrying about the colour because it meant nothing. He actually said “worry if it doesn’t lighten up after you drink a few glasses of water”. I started drinking 2 litres of water daily. My urine was still dark a lot of the time and I started getting UTI’s. I was convinced this was further evidence that I had either bladder or kidney cancer. I couldn’t let it go and hassled the doctor to send me to a urologist. The urologist told me to drink 3 litres of water a day. And then I got the tests. You will rarely see me without a bottle of water in my hand. I drink copious amounts of water so that my urine stays light and so I can reassure myself I’m ok. Let this one go.

Hi, guys,

I know I asked similar question in January, but my urine, without to me obvious reason, all of a sudden sometimes comes dark yellow with orange hue. I believe I drink the same amount of water as before. When this occasionally happens, I up my water intake, and it goes to normal pale straw color, sometimes almost transparent. I cannot pinpoint the reason for dark yellow color, because I eat as usual, and what I have been taking in terms of supplements and/or medication, has been the same for years. I had CBC W/differential and complete metabolic panel test in February this year, and ALL came back normal. I have no pain, or weight loss either. But, now I am hyper focused on urine color, and I started looking at my stool color as well. It looks to me normal (lighter brown), and it sinks (I truly apologize for TMI). But at this point I cannot tell whether it is normal or not, because I am panicking. My only question is: if there was something wrong either with my liver or my pancreas, would the urine color EVER go back to normal? Would it persist regardless how much I drink?
Thank you so much, whoever replies.

[Cptdebbie]

Thank you for your kind words NoraB.