Hi everyone. This is my first post. I've hit rock bottom and not sure where to turn. Long story short... I'm certain my anxiety/issues stem from my high-school boyfriend dying in a car accident with 3 other friends when we were 17. I'm now 40 years old, married with a 15 year old son and 13 year old daughter. A couple of years ago, I had convinced myself I had every kind of cancer known to man. After many doc visits and tests that all came back normal, I eventually dug out of that hole. Most recently, I've begun to spiral again. After a few upsetting events since my aunt passing in October of 2020, including having the J&J vaccine 3 days before they paused it, I've really been struggling. My kids have 4h cows stalled at a friend's barn. The kids and I decided to clean the old feed bags and pallets out of this feed barn (wearing masks) one day and there were mice scurrying all over the place. I get home... husband says omg! Hauntavirus. BAD SPIRAL. Ended up going to the doctor and he said it's Soooooo rare. Our chances of getting struck by lightning were greater than getting hauntavirus. Okay. Maybe...you know how those of us with HA dont believe the docs all the time. Then last night, we worked in the same feed barn without masks on but not rearranging feed buckets or disturbingany mice nests. The barn owner recently put down poison so there's significantly lessice now thankfully bit still some.. also my husband sprayed the dirt with water last night to keep the dust down but then one of the cows knocked into a pallett where I'm sure there's mouse poop under. Also my daughter was dumping feed in her cows pen and said...ewww something on my head. The kids thought maybe bird poop. I didn't think anything of it until this morning when it dawned on me...what if it was a bat and it bit her and it had rabies. I'm in bad shape over this. Tired of having the panic 💩!! So many scary topics lately that just won't allow my mind to settle....covid. vaccines, hauntavirus, skunks with rabies in our county, plague in Colorado, etc. My doc prescribed Lexapro when he talked me out of hauntavirus... I took one dose and felt like I had drank 10 pots of coffee and was soooo jittery so I never took another dose. Help... am I being irrational about the hauntavirus and rabies that might have just been bird poop?