As my weekend comes to a close, I have now settled on major fears of having caught covid, due to being around travelers, one of my friends having a cough this morning, and my own symptoms.

I’m going to go to urgent care for an appointment and test tomorrow but am terrified, especially as there could be sick people there. I am afraid of having covid as well as giving it to my parents or my dogs.

I am trying to be logical and explain my symptoms away - I have a thumping heartbeat and feel like my chest is tight and I’m short of breath, but that could be anxiety. I have a runny nose and a slight cough, but it’s been smoky from wildfires so that could be it. I feel a bit dizzy but I also haven’t eaten hardly anything this weekend and haven’t gotten much sleep.

I am just struggling so hard now. It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this way and I absolutely hate myself and all of my choices that led me here.