Going tomorrow for a covid test

[.Poppy.]

It would be nice if things were better by then. I would like to go, even though it will cost money that I probably shouldn't spend. But there will be a lot of bars and outings so unless things were significantly better I don't know how comfortable I would be? I mean, I am currently off my rocker with fear (especially as a wave of exhaustion hit me about an hour ago) and I've been vaxed and boosted, mask everywhere, and haven't been engaging in anything high-risk. That trip would absolutely be high-risk.

I just wish it was all simpler. I swear, a pandemic is probably the hardest catastrophe for me to deal with, having HA. I'm sure it's true of many here. I went on a big camping trip to Canada in August 2019 with my best friend, and when I think of all the fun we had and things we did, it makes me so sad as I wonder if we'll ever be comfortable again.

So, that's my pity party.

[pulisa]

I feel for you,Poppy..You are young and healthy and deserve to be able to look forward to enjoyment and fun in your life. The pandemic has wrecked your life as you knew it and it's a battle to get your confidence back that things will improve. My daughter is your age and feels the same. Anxiety rules her life and she is terrified of covid and giving it to me..

I think that we will feel comfortable again but it will take time and evidence that life is really getting back to something like things were pre-pandemic. I think also that we will need to decide on what we really want to do and try and make that happen if at all possible. You need to be able to enjoy life again and not just endure and exist through the hours..

[.Poppy.]

It really has, and it’s so unfortunate. I feel like I should be with friends, not to mention dating, but that’s a no for now. It just feels like there is no end in sight, so everything is slipping away.

I don’t have my results yet but they are backlogged so it might not be until tomorrow. I have some nasal congestion, but not much and I’ve had that before. I keep wondering if my throat feels scratchy - I know that’s a symptom but I can’t tell if it really is or if I’m imagining it because it is so subtle. Same with feeling a bit dizzy and tired - it definitely feels like a panic response but who knows?

It certainly doesn’t help that we got the weekly county numbers. The highest positive rate the entire pandemic in a week had been like 160 cases. This week? 1,202!

I just have to keep telling myself that I wasn’t really exposed and pray that is true because my mind is not doing well.

[NancyW]

Poppy I hope your test is positive, you have mild symptoms and you will be building antibodies, that is all good.

[.Poppy.]

I’d honestly rather not have it at all. I am so afraid of long covid or giving it to my parents. So afraid of potential long term effects.

I don’t have my results yet but definitely have something. I don’t have a fever or anything but have a lot of nasal congestion and drainage. Maybe it could be something else though? I can still taste and smell fine. It’s just been hard to get through each day waiting for a new symptom to pop up or get worse.

I also have a history of having colds turn into bronchitis or pneumonia. In the past that was obviously easy to get addressed. But the urgent care centers, doctors offices, and hospital are all absolutely slammed right now so getting an appointment is nearly impossible. My own doc will only do telehealth for those things now, which doesn’t help because he can’t hear my lungs over the phone. So that’s really scary as well.

[Catkins]

I had Covid before Christmas Poppy and I had it very mildly. It was very much like a cold and I've only been left with a lingering cough which is quite common.

With regards to your history of bronchitis and pneumonia, if you are unlucky enough to get one of these still contact your doctor. They may prescribe antibiotics based on your history and the fact that you are familiar with the symptoms. I went through a period of time when I had a lot of sinus infections and because I knew the symptoms and tried over the counter remedies prior to phoning the GP they prescribed antibiotics without seeing me.

[.Poppy.]

Thanks, Catkins.

I still don't have results. I emailed their line this morning and also left a phone message, so hopefully they get back to me, but honestly, even if it's negative I don't know what to think because I'm hearing some people initially test negative and then positive. But since it's a PCR and it was a saliva PCR I'm hoping it would be more accurate? They are saying that omicron starts more in the throat and then moves to the nose.

As for how I feel....just kind of crummy but overall not terrible? I can still taste and smell, no fever, no sore throat. I just have a lot of congestion in my nose (though I can still breathe through my nose) and a bit of sinus pain this morning. My costo is also acting up, which doesn't help my anxiety. I've been taking OTC remedies - Sudafed during the day and NyQuil at night - but may call my doctor for a telehealth appointment if I'm still having sinus pain on Monday/Tuesday.

I am bummed because my dad's birthday is today and my mom is picking up a cheesecake, but I can't participate. I also usually go to their house on weekends to go hiking with my dog, but can't do that so feel like I am letting him down. Kicking myself because I feel like there are all of four instances where I could have picked it up and constantly wondering which one it was and how I could have been so careless. Just a big ball of anxiety and sadness.

[Catkins]

If you get a negative test result before tomorrow you could still go? When I got it I hadn't knowingly been with anyone who had it.

I did have a heartening experience this week. I rang a work patient up to say I would be visiting that afternoon; she's in her 80's, has diabetes, disabled and is classed as high risk. I drove about 23 miles to get to her flat, pressed the intercom to tell I was there, she answered and said that she was very sorry she forgot she had Covid and so couldn't let me in. I thought that was such a positive, she was feeling so well in herself, she forgot she had it. She has all her facilities and is completely on the ball.

[pulisa]

I think the very suggestion of having covid can strike so much fear into anxious people but maybe the reality of omicron is really not worthy of all the dread and terror? That's a very illuminating story, Catkins but I'm sorry you had a wasted journey!

[.Poppy.]

Catkins, that is good news!

Pulisa, I hope so. I think a big part of it is that there is just so much uncertainty and instability, both in general and surrounding covid. My anxiety is peaked for other, just general life reasons (finances for one, and the price of everything goes way up), and this is just fuel to the fire. It doesn't help either that there is just so much unknown, and doctors and hospitals are overrun, so it's really hard to find any kind of help if you need it. At least in the past if I got ill and it became something that needed medical attention, or if I was concerned about catching the flu, or whatever, it was just super easy to make a doctor's appointment and get it sorted. And I could go be around my parents and have them comfort me if needed. I think both of those things are making me feel especially alone and scared.

Had a brief panic attack this afternoon as I ordered soup to be delivered and I was like "this doesn't seem as spicy as it should" and I used hand sanitizer a little bit later and it smelled more bland than I remembered - so of course I then went around smelling all kinds of things just to make sure I could still smell. I think I can, maybe the sanitizer is just old (it's also been in the cold, so maybe that matters) but I do feel a bit certifiable.

Someone on my Facebook page is part of an MLM and has been posting about how she just flew to Florida for a few days in a condo and social outings with like 20 other women. The concept that someone could be so nonchalant absolutely blows my mind - she even has young children and is currently expecting (last year she went to something similar and brought her infant baby along!). I'm not trying to be judgmental, truly, but I just can't imagine not having any anxiety about such a thing, especially now. It must be nice.