Going tomorrow for a covid test

[Catkins]

Good luck with the blood test results. It's so hard with our pets, I do wish sometimes my dog could just tell me how she's feeling.

[.Poppy.]

Yesterday was definitely rough.

Chisum seems to be feeling better and his fever is down, which is great. The vet called with his bloodwork. No bacteria, so hard to say where the fever was from. His calcium levels were a bit high, and one of his liver enzymes is also high - it was elevated at his yearly exam and is higher now. Unfortunately, a lot of things can cause that particular enzyme to raise, and my vet said sometimes you just never know why. So we are going to try some liver support tablets for a month and then re-test to see what happens and go from there.

Also yesterday I ended up with a really bad migraine; I haven't had one that bad in awhile. I made it through and finally fell asleep in the evening, but woke up around midnight in a panic attack for something largely unrelated - I have a little spot on my back that I noticed awhile ago but wrote off as a skin tag. But last night I was suddenly struck with the idea that it's cancer, I've left it too long, it's already spread, all of my issues are because of the cancer. I've calmed a little this morning but still think its wise to get a derm appointment and have it and another skin tag I have looked at and maybe removed. I will call them shortly when they open, but fear it is going to take months to get in and that I'll just continue to spiral in the meantime.

But, I guess there's nothing more to be done besides get an appointment and wait and see. It's just so hard to be so stressed for the both of us, and still feeling so guilty that I've missed signs and mishandled things that are going to make us both be very ill.

[pulisa]

I think you have allowed your fears about Chisum's health to escalate onto your own health? The skin tag has suddenly become a potential deadly skin cancer? Have you been reading posts on here about this fear?

[.Poppy.]

I think you have allowed your fears about Chisum's health to escalate onto your own health?

That's likely it. And there's a lot of guilt surrounding his health too. I feel like I should have noticed certain things sooner, feel like I could always be doing more. And yesterday when I was so sick he was so supportive and sweet and that had me feeling guilty about all the times I've been frustrated with him - maybe he wasn't well and I was being terrible to him? Not mean really, just needing my own space but if he's there for me I should absolutely return the favor.

The skin thing - I don't know. I got an appointment for next week just to have it looked at because it's in a weird spot and I'm afraid of it getting caught on something so maybe it needs removing as well. Trying now not to overanalyze every single mole and patch of discolored skin I have. I may ask the derm at what age I should do the yearly checks.

They keep promising the weather will be nicer and it hasn't warmed up yet, but should tomorrow (I hope) - I think maybe getting out and doing some fun stuff with my dog will help me feel better. Maybe help both of us feel better.

[pulisa]

I think so too...Don't get trapped in a cycle of rumination about not being a good pet owner etc etc? I would say if anything you monitor him too much because you are afraid of missing anything?

As for the skin tag...Maybe ask the dermatologist how often you need to check your moles/ skin lesions as you have HA? It's easy to fall into the hypervigilance trap as you know very well.

[.Poppy.]

Just dropping in again as I'm likely going to go to the doctor's tomorrow for possibly another test - I don't have any of the typical symptoms, no loss of taste/smell, no cough, no fever - but am having awful sinus pain. I've had a bit of a runny nose and occasionally watery eyes so am wondering if it's allergy related - I don't always have bad allergies but it's been dry and the trees are blooming that I'm allergic to. We've also had a lot of wildfires so smoke could certainly be an issue.

But, I'm having difficulty sorting out what is a symptom vs. what is just my HA playing up, and I don't want to expose anyone (especially not my parents) so I may as well get it checked out. If I have a sinus infection hopefully they can offer some advice or medications as well as it's quite painful. I've been doing hot bags of rice on my face but that only helps for a bit.

[.Poppy.]

I feel a bit better today so I didn’t go in. I took an at home test yesterday and was honestly terrified to look at it but it was a solid negative. My throat is a bit more irritated today but my sinus pain is a lot less so I’m guessing they are draining and irritating my throat. It seems a bit worse when I go outside so maybe allergies are at fault, despite that I’m out in my hammock while the dogs play because it’s relaxing.

If anything changes I’ll go in tomorrow but to be honest I didn’t want to spend the copay just to be told I’m fine.

[pulisa]

Good decision, Poppy. Save your money for tests you really need. Hope you continue to improve.

[.Poppy.]

Thanks Pulisa. My cold like symptoms have gone, but may end up at my regular GP anyway as I’ve had some persistent nausea, almost like feeling carsick. But I’ve been stressed and I’m certainly stressed now - currently sitting in a cellar with my dogs as a potential tornado heads my way (and I’m alone right now so I have to juggle it by myself). So I’ll see how I feel in the next day or so.

[glassgirlw]

Hey poppy, hope you weathered the storm ok. It’s currently over the top of me now but just seems to be a lot of lightning, wind, and hail.