Hi All
Well I find myself here again seeking constant reassurance that I am suffering from anxiety - I am a real worried over my health concerns and have been for as long as I can remember but at the moment it just seems to be out of control. I am a 53 year old mum and have a fairly stressful job and have been on and off with various fears almost constantly since April. I truly believe it all spiralled with the whole Covid situation and I was terrified of being in a school environment as was so scared of catching it. During April I come down with a chest infection (not Covid) but having a very rare type of lupus that affects my skin started to worry lots. Basically I still stress over my cough and convince myself it is more but during this period I also spotted a brown mole looking patch on roof of my mouth and visited my doctor in absolutely panic and shakiness and she said it looked fine and lupus can sometimes cause this but they would watch for 2 months - I have also spoken to my doctor who said she is not concerned by this but this started the entire episode I can now find no way out of. I often have to go on oral steroids prednisolone for my skin condition and this plays havoc with my heartrate and am currently tapering down on these so know how it plays with me.
I have currently and have had for at least a week a constant nervous fluttery/internal shaky feeling almost constantly (I don’t stop looking for it constantly either) I feel like I am so nervous all the time - add to this my constant checking of my heartrate which jumps about massively and the whole clenching tongue to roof of mouth and although I tell myself it is anxiety I do not believe it and it just spirals. I do not sleep well as wake myself in a real panic and then the shakiness and heart rate are there instantly. I also make myself cough and sometimes clear my throat constantly. My partner says he can see me going down again but knows that all he can do is support until I start coming back up but then I think maybe this time there is something - I just find this so tiring and feel very down and depressed and find myself very tearful most of the time - help or advice anyone - I could write for ages about all the things I am worried about too