Melanoma

[Kroko]

Hello

I've often thought that I'll probably develop melanoma. Now I was searching the Internet for information on it and am convinced that I actually have it...and this time I'm not just imagining things.

I have many, MANY moles, and new ones seem to appear all the time. Some of my moles are elevated, and some are irregular. A couple of moles only just recently elevated, this apparently is a symptom of melanoma...I have also developed redness around two of my moles, they have that redness around them right now. One of my moles looks just like this: http://adam.about.com/encyclopedia/2498.htm

I asked a doctor about my (already then many) moles once years ago, he just took a really quick look at my arm (which is infested with moles) and said they're just liver spots, but he was wrong...liver spots aren't elevated nor anything else that many of my moles are! I told another doctor I was worried about this not long ago, but he didn't react, didn't look at them or anything.

I read about the ACDE or whatever scale, A for Asymmetry etc...and some of my moles, such as the one that looks like the one in that picture, meet all the requirements for melanoma.

I also read that cancerous moles are painless...I used to think otherwise, so I thought I didn't have melanoma!!

I've had these bad moles for long, only they're getting worse and new moles appear every day...I read that the survival rate for advanced melanoma is very low. I'm really panicked and shocked and afraid...

[jude]

Hello Kroko,
Firstly please try to calm down because feeling panicky will allow your imagination to run riot.
Secondly, I have lots of moles that 'seem' to change shape, itch elevate etc, especially if Im constantly lookin at them.
Thirdly, the only way to convince yourself that they are normal is to go back to your GP and make him listen. Tell him that worrying about these moles is causing you to worry excessively. Show him every singly one that you are worried about and dont leave there until you feel you better about them. GPs are often pushed for time and dismiss passing questions without noticing the effect it is having on you emotionally.
Doctors are trained to notice anything suspicious about moles. If you insist he examine them all, you will relax. Dont be bullied into rushing.

Im sure, after you have done this, that you will feel better. It is so easy to become obsessed with certain worries when you have problems with anxiety.
Take care

Jude x

[seh1980]

hello Kroko,

All you can do is go see your doctor again and ask him. Good luck!!

Sarah

[FAN]

hi go back to your gp explain that you know you have discussed the moles before but could he look again as your having worries , try not to look on the internet for information about it as this can make you feel worse as you end up believing you have the whole lot of symptoms when in fact you dont i was always looking and ended up convincing myself i had loads of incurable diseases which of course i havent.......a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing

fan x

[Kroko]

I made an appointment with a (private) dermatologist for Monday.

I got a full-fledged panic attack today so I took diazepam as I still had one pill of that left from when I was in the hospital (psychiatric ward) May last year. Whenever I get a panic attack I'll feel panicky and get more attacks for the rest of the day and beyond if I can't calm myself down.

I'm sure I have melanoma which by now is not curable. Unlike my sister, who took her own life, I just want to keep living, no matter how bad I sometimes feel, but now I think I'll die slowly and painfully in the near future.

I've always been anxious about my moles because I have so many of them and new ones appear all the time, they start small and then grow. I've never seen anyone have so many moles, I don't even know how many I have because it's impossible to keep track, but new ones have been appearing for as long as I can remember (I'm now 20) and I feel like I have at least a hundred of them...

I find it really difficult to wait until Monday, although it's only four days away...I'm also very much afraid and anxious about it because I keep imagining the doctor's expression when he tells me it's melanoma and my prognosis is not good at all. Then I'll probably just cry...I feel the hopelessness already.

[Kroko]

I tried talking to my parents about it but they said I'm very selfish and need to stop harassing them and that if I die it's not their problem and there's nothing they can do about it.

I have no one to talk to. :( My friends stopped keeping in touch with me when I stopped going anywhere because of my panic attacks. I rarely see my psychologist because she's so busy.

[Meg]

HI Kroko,

Going to a dermatologist is the best thing you can do as they see melanomas every day and are specialists in spotting and treating them.
Be sure that he/she sees all of your skin especially the bits like your back that you find it hard to see alone.

They are far more prevailant in those who have abused sunbathing for years on end.

Sorry to hear about your parents reaction.

With distraction and rational thinking try to stop imagining and thinking ahead- its making you far worse - you have done everything sensible that you can do until Monday.

Let us know how you get on.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[FAN]

try not to concentrate too much on the worse that can happen, but try swap your thinking to how you will feel if he says they are not what you imagine them to be, we all blow things completely out of proportion when we get anxious and it will be hard to not have these thoughts but try, just keep reading the posts on here and be positive

fan x

[jill]

Hi Kroko

I know how hard it is to find those positive thoughts when you
are scared about something.
My 14 year old son has lots and lots of moles, there is one on the
side of his head which over the years has been changing and getting
bigger. Last year I found a growth on his tummy. I like you searched
the net[V] wrong thing to do, it made me feel worse.
I took him to see a dermatologist and everything was fine.
They just want to keep an eye on them and he is due to go back
in march.
Please Kroko like everyone has said try and keep those thoghts
rational.

Thinking of you

LOVE JILLXXX

[Kroko]

Thank you so much everyone.

I can't stop thinking that some of my long-time symptoms are actually caused by melanoma; the sweating in my sleep, the depersonalisation...I've read that both of those can be symptoms of an underlying serious illness. And maybe my gluten A level being high is caused by melanoma and not celiac disease like my doctor thought.